Oblivious

Chapter 13

I lay awake, staring out the window. We had forgotten to pull down the blinds last night, and the morning sunlight flooded the room. It was a beautiful day—a day when everything would go back to normal. Our days of unquestioned passion were over, and it was time to face what we really were to each other. The word couple hadn't been mentioned at Stacy's place, and neither had partner or boyfriend. More than friends, yes, but what did that mean?

Ayden groaned beside me as the volume increased on the alarm.

"Turn it off!"

I chuckled. He wasn't a morning person, never had been. I gave him a nudge, hitting his stomach with my elbow, but he simply grunted and turned around to face the other direction.

"Ay, it's time for school."

"No!" He burrowed his face into the pillow, and I couldn't help but smile. I would never call him adorable to his face, because that would result in a black eye, but I could still think it.

Even if this kind of intimacy felt relaxed—normal even—I still hesitated every now and then. Especially when my mind wandered, concerned about all the things we hadn't talked about. It didn't feel natural to bring our relationship into any discussions since those mainly circled around the things we enjoyed together, but not necessarily as a couple. We talked as friends, not as lovers.

He peeked up at me, relaxing in my hold. I smiled. His lips looked so kissable, a little plump and tired, as if they would be soft to touch. But there it was, the hesitation. He must have seen the way my eyes traveled from his lips and then away, looking through the window at nothing in particular, because he took hold around my neck and pulled me down. Our lips joined, and it was just as nice as I had imagined. The kiss turned from loving to passionate, escalating into something we shouldn't be doing.

I nudged him again, but it didn't work. He raised his hand as if to slap me away, but there was no way he would hit me—he was too uncoordinated.

The snooze on the alarm went off, reminding us that we had somewhere to go. I broke our connection even if it was the last thing I wanted to do.

"We really have to go, Ay, it's late. And we can't skip more classes. They'll throw us out."

* * * *

We walked together from the apartment, hand in hand along the streets until I picked up a cigarette. I didn't enjoy smoking so early in the mornings, but my nerves were acting up. But, after that break of touch, it felt impossible to take his hand again. I wanted to show what we had—to show that I wasn't afraid of being "out" with him, but the truth was that I was more uncomfortable than I wanted to admit.

After a few steps, I glanced at Ayden. He looked irritated, but I figured it was due to my smoking. I didn't think much of it, perhaps I should have.

I took a seat at the back, assuming that Ayden would sit down next to me on the navy blue chair, but he didn't. When I looked up, I could see him choose a seat a few rows in front of me. I saw that as a sign that he, in fact, didn't want to be open about us in public, or perhaps he tried to give me space. It kind of hurt, but that feeling soon perished as irritation and nervousness took over.

The lesson went on in its usual fashion, but I couldn't listen to anything the professor said. Not only because I was distracted. Politics wasn't my main interest, so I didn't know why I took this class. It was a waste of time.

When the class ended, I stood up with every intention of grabbing Ayden on my way out. Unfortunately, I didn't get my opportunity.

"We need to talk," Jessica said. Her eyes were hard, unforgiving.