Oblivious

Chapter 12

That night, the passion we shared was different. It was deliberate and careful. Ayden told me to forget the nasty words—that they didn't mean anything. I tried to listen, but it was difficult to disregard them completely. Was I really ready to enter an entirely new world? I wasn't sure.

No matter how he touched me or reassured me, the feeling of doubt persisted. It stayed until exhaustion made me slip into a fitful sleep.

I dreamed of us together. Hands clasped together as we walked through town.

It started with long looks, then whispers behind our backs. Everyone had their eyes trained on us, and their voices grew louder with every heartbeat. A buzz that turned into a soft drone and then into spiteful words echoing around us. No matter how hard I clenched my hand around Ayden's, the unease built, turning my stomach inside out until I could taste the bile in my throat.

What were we doing?

I could see it so clearly. How they hated us. Then my dad's face appeared among the other face-less ones.

I dropped Ayden's hand and took a step away from him. He tried to snatch it back, but I escaped his hold and walked away through the shouting crowd.

"Cal!" he yelled, but the sound faded among all other voices chanting for me to leave and never come back.

"Cal."

I stirred, startled awake.

"Cal." Ayden shook my shoulder.

"Y-yes."

"You were thrashing around. Bad dream?"

Taking a deep breath, I met his eyes. I had betrayed him in the dream. I walked away, leaving him alone.

"Hey, you okay?" He rubbed my shoulder, and I tried to relax beneath his warm hand. It didn't work. I doubted us, already, and the shame pooled in my body, making me cold from head to toe.

"I'm okay," I replied, even if the lie made it worse. He couldn't know. It would only result in unnecessary pain for both of us. Dreams about my dead father shouldn't mean anything.

"Think you can go back to sleep?"

I doubted it. "What time is it?"

Ayden reached for his phone on the nightstand. "It's 7 AM."

"What day is it?"

He chuckled, checking his phone again. "It's apparently Saturday."

"You can sleep if you want to, I'll do something on my own," I said.

"No, might as well get going. I have to drive over to Mom's today."

Ayden's mom lived in the next town over. He visited her on occasion, but I hadn't heard him mention it for a while, perhaps he'd been there without telling me. She was a nice woman, warm and friendly whenever we met. I couldn't remember last time I saw her, and I realized it was odd. When we moved into the apartment she came over every other weekend or so. I kind of missed her.

"Do you want me to come?" I asked.

His lips quirked into a grin. "Sure, I know she'd like to see you."

* * * *

Two hours later, we hit the highway in Ayden's less than safe car. The traffic was light, and we settled into a comfortable silence while listening to the radio. Looking out at the scenery, my thoughts began to wander. They tumbled and ran in all directions until I recalled the dream. The fear of rejection wasn't a part of the dream, it was real—sparked by the man's words. They did their damage like I'm sure he hoped they would.