Finding Kat [styles au]

epilogue

Epilogue

[ L U C Y ]

I think I am starting to get better. Well, at least I’m trying to.

  

See, it’s been two months since I’ve met this wonderful, charming, beautiful person named Harry styles. I couldn’t be more grateful that he is now permanently in my life. That’s what he says almost every day to me so I am believing his words but there are days where I think I should prepare myself for when he leaves me; whether it’s God’s decision or his own.

Like Harry has advised me, I have appointments with a psychiatrist who turns out to be Harry’s mum. She is a lovely woman and she never urges me to tell her more about myself. It takes time, she knows it but now I think I have nothing else I could share with her. Even though Harry and her are related, I have told her not to tell Harry about whatever happened during our appointments. Besides, it is one of the physiatrist’s policies to keep their patient’s secrets.

Aunt Claire was thrilled when I told her that I wanted to get better. She is happy that Harry and I are now best friends. I was never the one who have a ‘best friend’ because when Kat was alive, I thought no one could be my best friend except for her. But now, changes needed to be made.

Harry and I are not ‘together’. I am thankful that he understood with my decision when we had a discussion about it. I just feel that I am not ready for commitments and of course, I love Harry but I think he deserves so much more than a girl who stole her dead twin’s personality.

“Is this the place?” Harry’s voice brings me back to reality. His hand squeezes my own while his other hand is controlling the steering wheel.

  

Since I am in the process of recovering, I figure it is time for me to say a proper good bye to Kat. I have done this before but I just want to do it again. I need to start being independent and be happy with who I am.  I need to realize that Kat is not going to come back.

“Yeah.” I simply reply. The memory of my family’s funeral is still fresh in my mind and I am starting to get the feeling of nostalgic.

Harry parks the car then lowering the volume of the radio. “You want me to come with you?”

“It’s alright. I’ll be fine.” I reassured him with a smile before opening the car door.

As soon as I have stepped out of the car, the cold wind hits my skin and I received goose bumps so I wrap my arms around my torso as an attempt to warm myself up. It is in the middle of November so the weather is getting colder and colder. I remember Kat’s love for winter and how she’s always excited for Christmas. I, on the other hand prefer the sunny weather during the summer.

  

The cemetery is empty. No one is there to visit their loved ones so it is making me feel afraid for some odd reason. My eyes searched for the familiar name on a tomb stone I know very much. I finally found where my parents and Kat’s tomb stones were.

Here lies the girl with the most colourful personalities.

Katherine “Kat” Rogers

21/11/1996 – 4/7/2013

 

“I miss you guys, so much.” I sighed as I put the bouquet of flowers I have brought with me. “I don’t know where to start. I miss your lame jokes, Dad. I really do even though I acted like I hated them but I don’t really mind them. Mum, I really miss your cooking. I just wish I had the time to ask you about your passion for writing and reading books but I was too late.”

  

My eyes cast on Kat’s tomb stone and I start to cry. “Kat, you are my other half. You always will be even though you’re not with me anymore. I don’t know if you would be fond of the idea of me stealing your personality but let’s just forget about that.” I could imagine Kat rolling her eyes at me. “I think I’m happy with who I am now. It was nice pretending to be you but I realized I can’t be doing that forever. Harry, well, he made me realized I was special in my own way. I want to say good bye. For real this time.”

“Good bye.” I choke out the words as I am starting to sob on the green grass but I try to contain myself from doing so. “Thank you for being a wonderful twin, Kat.”

I turned around from my family’s tomb stones and left the place with the feeling of peace in me.

  

I am getting better.

--

“You’re okay?” Harry inquires once he sees me walking out of the cemetery. His cheeks were tinted pink due to the cold I assume. He must have been waiting outside of his car instead of getting warm in the car. 

“Yeah,” I nod, “You really should have waited in the car, Harry.” My touch his cold cheek before pinching it lightly. 

His dimples are on display as his lips curl up to form a smile, “I got bored. Should we head out to meet the others?”

I nod again, “Sure.” When Harry is unlocking the car, I couldn’t help but to comment, “Your pink hair still looks ridiculous to me.”

“You said it looks cool on me the other day!”

“Oh really?” I remark before the two of us get into the car to meet up with our friends.

It is still weird to me that I am friends with four star players of the lacrosse team. After the day I had admitted to Harry, I helped with Harry’s friendship with Liam, Louis and Niall since I felt it was my fault they had fallen out. Of course I didn’t tell them about the whole ‘Kat’ thing as I wasn’t sure if they know about it or not. Somehow they did feel guilty for ignoring Harry just because he had been friends with me.

  

They made up and I was suddenly dragged into the circle of friends.

I would say, it is a happy ending for me. At least for now.

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okay, this is officially the end of the story. please, please, please leave some thoughts about this whole story. i would love to have some feedback. i hope you're having a wonderful day :)

-jane.