Payment

I love you

Note: Rewritten but not triple checked or spelling and grammatical errors. If you see any feel free to comment

Who in the world was Amaria? The way she has raped Dominik with those blazing eyes, the way she stood with the confidence and power of royalty, it was all too blinding. She was stunning and it made me feel tiny in her presence. It made me feel tiny next to Dominik.

There was this this strange pain twisting in the pit of my gut. Like a knife, it sliced through my confidence, through this fantasy I had been stumbling through. It hurt. I held it, pressing my fist to my belly button as if I could stop the bleeding of my emotions.

It had been in the way he said her name and the way he looked at her. It was like she erased all of me from him, like she had scooped me right out of his heart with her claws.

"Oh," I gasped, the pain striking me harder. It was too hard for me stand, to keep moving forward. I found myself clutching at the wall, my breath caught in my throat. I choked on tears and curled up right there in the hallway.

I felt like by chest would rip open from the pain. It engulfed me, swallowed me whole. I had never felt like this before. It hadn't hurt this bad then my parent had given me up. Not even my shoulder trumped this. It throbbed and hit and scratched me up from the inside. It felt like I had swallowed razors, like they were stuck in my throat, in my chest, in stomach and even in my feet. I knew, even if I tried I wouldn't be able to take another step.

So, when I looked down the hall and saw Dominik stalking towards me, all I could do was hide my face between my knees and hold myself together.

"Roza!" Dominik called, sounding surprisingly calm. I ignored him despite the pain shooting like spears through my back. It only made me cry harder.

I wished for the first time that he was gone, that he would just disappear. Not forever, I could never wish that upon him, upon Kana. But I couldn't take having him here, right now.

I had been so stupid to think he was mine. Of course, he had a woman. Someone like Amaria, so beautiful, raw and confident, belonged at his side. What was I thinking? I tried so hard to be proper and to act like I belonged, but who was I kidding? I didn't belong here, I didn't belong with someone like Dominik. He was such a gentle and caring man, someone I never deserved. The only place I belonged was in the kitchen as a working girl. That was as close as I should have gone.

I should have rejected all of this, all of things he gave me. It was just me playing dress up.

"Roza." The sudden softness of his whisper made me jump out of my skin. Looking up, I found him crouched. And looking down, I found his nice glossy shoes creased and messed up from his stance.

Parasite.

I know my face was drenched and it must have been all red and puffy, but I sucked in my tears, willing them to stop for just a moment. And I looked at him with the most painful smile I had ever managed to pull off, as if I wasn't crying. It felt like needles in my face. But I held it with tears brimming my bloodshot eyes.

"Yes?" I whispered in response, fighting the quiver in my lower lip. His beautiful green eyes held the sadness I refused to show him. I wouldn't admit I was crying even if the evidence was all over my face.

"Why are you crying?" He reached out to touch my arm but I flinched, scared of how much it would hurt me. I didn't want to be touched by him. Not when he's not mine.

"I'm not." I forced myself to laugh despite the growing pain in my chest. "Don't be silly. Why would I cry?"

Reaching out again, I jumped away, desperate to stay out of reach. "Don't." This time I couldn't stop the quiver as a pained gasp left my lips. I would surely break to pieces it he were to touch me. I knew it just like I knew the sky would crack open.

"Is this because of Amaria?" He asked letting his arms hang at his side lifelessly. I couldn't look at his face any longer. It reflected exactly what I felt, though I didn't know why.

"Is what because of Amaria? I don't know what you are talking about." I tilted my head as if I were confused and looked down the hall to keep the dam at bay. It worked for a moment. For a split second, I felt nothing. Looking down that hall, I was consumed by this numbness and it worked. But then that moment passed and the pain came rushing back like the ocean trying to swallow me up. I had to bury my face again before me saw it break. I wedged my temples between my knees and wrapped my arms around my shins, sucking in slow breaths.

I didn't have time to get away before he gently placed his hand on top of my head. It was so gentle, so serene. And I remembered exactly why I loved him so much.

Squeezing my eyes shut I tried to stop the burning tears. This, his touch, was something I never wanted to lose. All of those endearing moments Dominik and I had shared were so precious to me. And when his skin met mine, it was like we're mean to be together. But it was a lie, which only made me hurt more.

Who was I to stand in the way. I've never been in such a situation. Being poor, my entire life, I have had to give and give. But being here with Dominik, I was given so many things. I experienced an entirely different world than I am from. I should have known it wouldn't last, that it was too good to be true. All of the things we shared were supposed to be between him and her. I was never meant to be here.

"Your lady is back so why are you doing this to me?" I pleaded, wanting all of this to just stop.

He was silent for a moment. He just sat there and petted my head, making the pain swell and swirl around in my stomach. It made me want to puke.

"You think Amaria is my woman?" He sighed. "If you would listen before jumping to conclusions, I would explain."

"Then explain!" Opening my eyes, I shot up, slapping his hand away so I could look directly at him.

"I love you!" He smiled sadly. "I love you, Roza."

My heart caught in my chest, a rock sized lump lodging itself in my throat. I couldn't look away.

"No one on this earth comes close to you." He shuffled forward, reaching out to grip my face. I let him, I let the pain flood in because there was this spark hidden it. It was a pain stricken flicker of hope. So, I let him in. "Amaria is nothing to me. She never has been. She doesn't see me the way you do. The only reason she's here is because of Eliza's funeral. I never wanted to see her again. She'd been banished from here for years."

I let his words rush over me, I let him touch me, I even let him pull me up. Sitting, he brought me into his lap like before. And, we fit so perfectly.

Stifling a sob, I buried my face into his neck and cried. Not because I had been tricked by Amaria but because it felt so good to be held by him. There was nothing that compared to this feeling. I clutched him as if I would never let go. I was amazed at how easily I had been shaken, how weak I had been to Amaria's façade.

I was foolish but not for the reason I had thought. I had been dumb to to run away. I should have stayed, should have fought for what was between us even if it had been true and Amaria was his woman

And when I pulled away and saw the utter happiness reflected in his gaze, I couldn't believe I had almost let him go.

"I love you." Sitting there, in the middle of the hall, with a red puffy face and in nothing but a slip to hide my stupidity, I kissed him like it was the first time.