What I Really Learned in High School

Weird things boys have said to me that they don't even realize are weird.

These are all things that boys have said to me. No lie. The sad thing is that they don't even realize they're weird.

1. "You have a little dandruff right here." Proceeds to brush his own head in demonstration.

Ok, let's get a few things straight here:  why are you telling me this, when we're not that close, at lunch with all my friends? It's the middle of the school day, I'm sorry, I can't exactly bust out a shampoo bottle. All you're going to do is embarrass me... in front of ALL MY FRIENDS.

2. "You'd be pretty if you didn't wear glasses, did something with your hair, and wore nicer clothes."

Well, thanks for that. It's every girl's dream that they'll find a boy who will sit them down and say "you're not pretty." What more could someone ask for?

Honestly, that is a stupid thing to say to a girl. You NEVER tell a girl she's not pretty. I don't care how ugly she is! You ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS tell a girl she's pretty. Also, don't bring up the subject in the first place! It's never a good time to tell a girl she's ugly. You're either not close enough and it's totally inappropriate, or you're way too close and it's totally inappropriate. Overall, it's NEVER appropriate to tell a girl she's not pretty. Just don't do it. Just don't.

3. "Where do you live?"

I'm sorry, boys, but it's just plain creepy to ask a girl where she lives. It just is! Unless for some reason you're coming to my house or for some other reason need it, DON'T ASK ME WHERE I LIVE. Creep out factor: major. This was just randomly while texting.

And girls, if someone does ever ask you this, and you don't want to tell them but don't want to be like "I'M NOT TELLING YOU THAT OMG STALKER!", then do what I did in that situation: name a street relatively close to where you live, and say you live near it. Be just vague enough that he won't kill you in the middle of the night or hide out in the bushes, but not so vague you're rude.

4. "Your scar is sexy. I have a scar fetish."

Yes. A boy literally told me that. See, I have this fairly big scar on one of my arms. And apparently he's in to that sort of thing.

Let's get something straight, boys: I don't care about any of your fetishes, especially creepy ones related to me. That is waaay too much information. I'm not some guy friend of yours while you're at a bar. I'm a girl you're trying to get to go out with you. Don't tell me these sorts of things.

5. "Do you like me? I've been getting weird vibes from you."

Through texting. Apparently I give out weird vibes while texting. Uh oh. I guess I forgot to change the settings on my phone off of "weird vibes".

Seriously, what does that mean, "weird vibes"? And that's not the first time he had asked me if I liked him either. This guy is either really full of himself, or I just come off major trampily. Either way, while it's good to take the initiative and clear things up, you're just making things awkward. If I liked you I'd tell you or ask you out or flirt or something. And really, the first time you asked wasn't enough?