What I Really Learned in High School

Girls are scared. Boys are scared. I'm alone.

Not many of my friends date boys. Not because we're lesbians, though that's also a good reason not to date boys, but for three simple rules:

Girls are afraid to approach guys.

Guys are afraid to approach girls.

I am alone.

No, this is not true for everyone. I mean, I know a lot of people in relationships. But a lot of the shyer people don't work out because, well, they're shy. Shy person meet shy person. Shy person like shy person. Shy person never talk to shy person again because shyness. It's a vicious trend.

I never really understand the fear of rejection. You like someone, ask them out. What's the worst that could happen?

Guy: Will you go out with me?

Girl: No. (Hits big red button that destroys world)

Yes, that's pretty bad. The world ending just because a girl didn't want to go to the movies with you. Geesh. Thanks for dooming humanity.

But that's not going to happen! I mean, honestly, what's worse:

a) Asking someone out, being rejected, and moving on, or

b) Never asking them out, never knowing what could be, sitting at home Friday nights wondering where they are and what would have happened if you had told them, and eventually having a restraining order filed against you for hiding in their bushes with binoculars.

I don't know about you, but I think b is a liiittle bit worse.

I mean seriously. What could possibly go wrong just by asking someone out?

Girl: Will you go out with me?

Guy: No. (Punches you in the face repeatedly)

Again, that is not going to happen. Probably.

And yes, there are the "strict parents". I have the "strict parents". The "no dating" parents. The "no leaving the house parents". The "every guy you're friends with is just trying to sleep with you parents". They're not fun parents.

But they are avoidable!

Don't turn down your crush just cause your parents say no!

REBEL!

REBEL!

REBEL!

(But don't tell anyone I told you to do that. I don't want to get into trouble if you get caught.)

I'm sick and tired of all the people staying home Friday nights eating ice cream and watching Bridget Jones' Diary. GET INTO THE WORLD! LIVE A LITTLE! GET A BF, GF, WHATEVER! Or really go out with friends. SOMETHING.

And now for the realization:

"Wait.

Didn't you JUST say that YOU'RE alone?

But...

But...

You just...

You just told us...

What?"

And yes. That is true. I just gave this whole motivational piece on how you shouldn't be shy because what's the worst that can happen and you shouldn't let strict parents stop you and bla bla bla motivation yeah.

And yet I am not in a relationship.

Never have been.

Why?

BECAUSE I DO NOT FOLLOW MY OWN ADVICE, OK?

But you still should. Because it's good advice. And I'm working on it! It's hard overcoming shyness.

But honestly, if you're debating whether or not to ask a girl out, ask yourself this:

1) What's the worst that can happen? (Answer: she says no)

2) What's the best that can happen? (Answer: Whatever you're looking for in that relationship)

So put yourself out there. Shyness is illogical. I am a logically illogical person. Listen to my logical self and be brave. You'd be surprised how much better school is.

I, however, am not responsible for any heartbreaks, rejections, or explosions of the world that may result from taking my advice. I am however responsible for all amazing relationships, first kisses, etc that result from this. And if you get married, I get to be your maid of honor. ;)