A/N: Thanks for the votes and comments. :) Keep them coming!
February 3, 2011: Thursday
7:02 PM
Dear diary,
I had aNoThEr a.p.p.o.i.n.t.m.e.n.t. with my counselor today... How do I see myself, she asks? Describe myself in five words. Then describe myself in five words of what I want to be...
UgLy.
FAT.
Stupid.
Yuck.
Horrible.
I want to be...
Beautiful.
AmAzInG.
P.r.e.t.t.y.
BetteR.
THIN.
Could I please be that? The counselor told me about SeLf-ReSpEcT. If I want to be more loved by others, I had to love myself. Sounds familiar... I think she’s been tAlkIng to Hope! I needed to get OUT of there. I’m under a close EyE. I can’t constantly starve myself. I can’t binge without being watched. I'm going to the doctor's Tuesday for a check-up...
I’m under ClOsE s c r u t i n y. Please look away. I want to purge. I don’t WANT to e.a.t. Why are you force feeding me, Mom? Why..? I thought of all people, at least you, my own MOTHER, would love me enough to help me become bEaUtIfUl. Why won’t you help me?
You think FAT is BEAUTIFUL? You’re dead wrong.
I’m killing myself? If that’s what it takes, so be it.
I’m going to be THIN and p.r.e.t.t.y.
Even if it kills me.
Love, I’m NOT crazy.
YOU ARE READING
Diary of a Schizophrenic (Maddening Series: Book 1)
Teen FictionEvery time I w.r.i.t.e, it's like dipping further into the InSaNiTy. I don't need FRIENDSSS when I have friends like Anorexia and Bulimia. They'll A.L.W.A.Y.S. be here for me. xoxo
