Sacrifice my love... (bts jungkook ff)

Letter

Jungkook pov
I hoped on my bed as soon as we got home because I'm not mentally ready for the questions the members want to ask, since they did refrain themselves from asking at the hospital and I'm sure they're dying to know more.
I laid on my back staring at the ceiling as the events of today won't leave my mind.
She could've have died today...
I was shot...
She's in comatose..
Why couldn't I protect you...

I felt sick to my stomach as guilt is taking over my mind and heart.
I'm useless...I should have protected you..
I broke my promise to protect you from the cruel doings of the world...
But in this case.... in the cruel doings of Yein...
As a man who's willing to hold your heart and treasure it...
I failed to shield you..
I failed as a man..

*knock knock.

I looked at the door as I could hear voices behind it but my body won't budge. I dont want to talk..
I can't...

"Jungkook-ah.....I cooked dinner...you should eat..."
I heard Jin hyungs muffled voice through the door.
But I could also hear the other members talking and shoving each other..
Probably trying to push each other into opening my door..
This scene reminds me of the night y/n and I ended things..the painful memories of that night is now taking over my mind...
Conceal...don't feel.. (🎵😏🎵)

The door was opened by jimin hyung who looked scared and behind him was the members trying to hide behind his petite shoulders.
As he was about to speak the front door was being being knocked at.
Yoongi hyung walked lazily to the door as the members and I watched him.
"J-jungkook?...wanna uhm....eat?.." Jimin hyung said after being elbowed in the arm by hobi hyung.
The members eyes scanned my room carefully as their eyes widened from what they were seeing. Shit...
I completely forgot..
Taeyhung:"W-what....is going on in your room?..."
Jimin :" your bed..."
Jhope :" toys?..."
Namjoon:" Dolls?.."
Jin :" eekkk!! Princess dolls!! WANT!...wait...everything's..."
Jimin:" Looks.... baby proofed?..."
Jhope: " every corner...is covered..."
Taeyhung:" your bed is now a king size..."
Namjoon:" Is that,.. a crib?...."

"I guess it's time to tell you..Ive had these stuff the first week?....I found out about Sara...
I know...I'm an idiot!! But I was shopping for some new clothes and i happen to pass by the baby shops... it's on the third floor!! We never go on the third floor because that's all furniture and baby stuff and maternity clothes! But I couldn't help but go there....and everything was just soooooooo small!! Like can you believe how small their body is!! Its small as hell!!!!! And then next thing I know I'm leaving the shop with bags and bags of these stuff.... I know I'm an idiot...especially since I don't even know if I'm the father....but hyung...I have all these feelings inside me that I've never felt before!! Like I have this need to make sure that she's happy....that everything is secure for her to be around....that she's 24/7 safe....that she's always smiling...and to imagine that she's smiling and it's because of me....it's the greatest feeling in the world....and yet I don't know how to explain this feeling..."
I said as I got out of my bed and i hold the baby clothes that's folded on my table and i stare at it as I admire them...I don't know what this feeling is...

"The feeling of a father loving his child" Jin hyung said as he walked to me patting my back.
I looked at all of them and they no longer had this concern in their eyes everytime i talk about Sara....instead they have this genuine look that somehow shows that they admire my feelings..
"Jungkook.... this came for you..." Yoongi hyung said as he walked to me handing me a letter..

"Hyung...at this time?? Our letters come in the morning.."
"Yeah..but that's different...it was personally dropped off.."
"Huh?" I answered as held the letter in my hand.
"Just read it...I'm going to bed.." He said as he walked out. The members smiled at me before leaving after him, I closed the door as the last person exited.
I sat on my bed as I looked at the letter..
I looked at the back and my name and address was handwritten...
It looks familiar..
The writing..
I opened the envelope and opened the folded paper..