Gone Niall Horan

Ch. 14

Kats POV

Life's a battle. My own battle. I have 2 more days in this place, then I go back and we're back on the road. I don't want to go back. Here I can cry all I want and just say I'm in pain if they ask. There, someone will know when I'm lying. And it's peaceful here. Staying in bed all day. Watching tv. Sleeping. But not eating. The food sucks! Which I don't mind..maybe I need to lose some weight.

My life sucks. I don't ever want to go anywhere. I'd rather stay in bed and cry all day. I usually never can cut myself like I feel as I need to, because I can't get caught and there's no way to hide it. I want to. So bad. When I shave my legs and feel the razor slide against my skin, I miss it. I miss the feeling. I miss the blood dripping down. I miss how it gets numb when I cut a lot. I miss everything about it. But I can't do that now...can I? Maybe I can hide it..just maybe..

It's been four weeks since I've been in the hospital. Now, we're traveling almost every day. It sucks! Zayn's birthday passed, so did Harry's. Both went amazing! They got awesome presents and had a blast! I'm happy for them! My birthdays next....oh boy. It's in 2 days. Pretty damn close huh? I'm scared. Niall keeps saying he has a wonderful surprise for me. That scares me why? Well I'm not used to surprises so I'm just a bit nervous.

Tonight's a good night I guess. The boys just got back from doing a concert, the whole day tomorrow we'll be traveling, then we'll be in Arizona on my birthday. Fun.

"Hiiii Kat!" Louis yelled. I decided to be fun tonight.

"LOUIS!!" I yelled, running to him and jumping in his arms. He hugged me and spun me around.

"Kat I've missed you more than words can say!!" He yelled.

"I've missed you more than I missed anyone else!" I said, pretending to cry.

"Don't worry love! I'm here now!" Louis said, putting me down but still hugging me.

"Get your hands off my girlfriend!" Niall gasped. He took my hand, spun me in a circle and I landed in his arms from behind.

"Hello there" I winked.

"How's my lovely girlfriend?" He winked back.

"I'd be better if you'd kiss me." I winked again. We shared a kiss. The boys kept complaining.

"I hope they don't make out in front of us.." Zayn whispered, just enough for me to her.

I decided to do just the opposite.

I ran my tongue against his bottom lip and he let me in but pulled away and whispered in my ear.

"You want to snog in front of the lads?"

"Well, if you don't want to we can always just stop right now." I said in his ear, kissing right below it when I was done.

"You don't know what you do to me." Niall whispered, then crashed his lips to mine.

"Shit man they're snogging!" Zayn said.

I pulled away from Niall and smirked at him.

"Too bad your girlfriend is shopping for my birthday before we leave." I told Zayn.

"Damn you." Zayn fake cried and went to his own room. It was getting late so we all separated to our own rooms. Me and Niall of course in the same room.

We climbed into bed. But Niall climbed on top of me.

"What are you doing?" I laughed from under him.

"You teased me with that snog." He pouted. "I want another kiss." He smiled.

He leaned down and kissed me slowly.