The Tudor Witch Book 1 Mistress

Wedding II (QE)

I feel like time is slipping away, increasing in pace, becoming faster than its normal turning. It only brings me closer to the dreaded moment: The moment I, and my new husband, will walk hand in hand out of the banquet hall and into the bed chamber, to consummate that which has been sanctioned this day.

I can feel the same bundle of nerves coiling in the pit of my stomach with every passing moment. A sickening feeling which I had encountered before bedding Henry, although, I am certain it is intensified ten-fold this night. With the King, I had pent up passion which overcame my anxiety but I know there will be no eagerness tonight, no overpowering lust. Sir Compton, my husband although attractive, had not built me so, he is naught but a stranger and tonight will be nothing but a transaction, a sealing of a deal.

"You are shaking." Anne whispers.

It is more a scold than a regard for my well-being. She hates when people show their emotions clearly, she despises that the court will read into my actions, even though, I am certain none are close enough to see the small shake of my hand. I grasp my drink tightly and try to steady my breathing, when that fails I pour the contents eagerly into my mouth letting the heavy sensation of wine slip down my throat, warming my insides and settling my anxiety.

"I will have to go soon. I can feel the night creeping up on me." I say before taking another sip.

"You have done it before. At least you are not going as a maid, but an experienced woman who has had more than one go on her stallion." She grins at her own jest. "You know what to expect, you will be fine."

"This is different. I do not know the man, he is a stranger to me. I will be stuck with him all night. What if he snores?" I add in all seriousness.

The snort of laughter which escapes Anne breaks my own resolve, cracking the tension and making me laugh in response.

"All women experience this day. Only the poor wed for love, we fine folk are stuck with whoever is chosen for us, you are lucky he is not ancient, looking more for someone to tend his aging body, than a lover." She replies.

I look upon my husband, easily taken with drink and fine humour. He looks to be enjoying the day's merriments, partaking in all entertainments. He is handsome and although older than me, not so much, as to be frail or running to fat. He has an elevated station, wealth, and as previously discussed he would expect a family from me - once the King grew tiered - he was interested in a wife, not a nurse maid.

"I need some fresh air," I say my cheeks heated from drink.

"Would you like company?" She asks.

I know her well enough by now to know it is just a polite gesture. She is not one to miss the gossiping circles and courtly antics not for a moment if it can be helped. She did not want to miss a second of it especially not for the freezing temperatures of January. If she truly wanted to accompany me she would not have asked but walked on regardless if I wanted her companionship or not.

"Alone is good, thank you," I reply.

I do not step into the gardens, the nights chill has crawled into the expanse of stone passageways deterring me from traveling further into the bitter frost without a cloak. The temperature is brisk even among walls and a ceiling, the lack of rugs and fires among the main passageways do nothing to fight off the chill leaving a chatter to my teeth and goose bumps across my skin. Yet it is fresh, awakening. Taking my mind off the inevitable, even for a second is bliss.

A warm hand on my shoulder breaks my reprieve. "You are cold, Kat. I do not want you taking ill." Henry says earnestly.

I tilt my head into his touch. He has not spoken to me much today, only an offer of congratulations and a hearty speech meant for the crowd and a married pair. No words for me. I do not know how he feels about today but it is odd to see another man standing beside me, repeating vows of commitment and love when the man I would truly say them for is watching.