I Hate Being Alone || NovaHD

(20) Memories

*Aleks*

  I took another swig of Pepsi and vodka. I blinked, and threw the now empty can at the wastebasket, and leaned back in my spinny chair. I stared at my computer screen. I didn't know if I wanted to record or not... I definitely wasn't in the mood to do so, and I was drunk. I heard Eddie singing a soft tune every now and then, some scribbling, then another tune. I looked down at my hands, and up my arms. My heart skipped a beat. I'm wearing the sweatshirt. I felt tears fill my eyes, and I quickly threw it off with a angry grunt. "Fuck you!" I shouted at the sweatshirt. It lay on the ground next to me in a heap, vulnerable, sad. I felt my anger turn to sadness, then back to anger. I sucked in stale air. I stomped on the jacket, crying out as I threw my foot down on it. I broke out into frustrated sobs, and stood up from the chair, still stomping on the crumpled jacket. I heard my bedroom door open, but I ignored it, stomping harder and harder on the sweatshirt.

  "Aleks! Aleks, stop!" Eddie called. I laid one final kick to the sweatshirt and fell to my knees in front of it. I stared at it as I cried, and slowly picked it up. Of course it wasn't hurt, it was just messy. I pulled it into my chest and sobbed into it, Eddie kneeled down next to me. "Aleksandr... It's okay... You're okay..." He rubbed my back softly.

  "I'm sorry," I whispered to the jacket, gripping its soft fabric. "I love you... I'm sorry..." I continued to cry. Eddie sat beside me, and I leaned against him, holding the sweatshirt like a newborn baby.

  I leaned deeper into the couch, my knees pulled into my chest. I buried my face into my legs, and shrugged the sweatshirt around me. Eddie came shuffling over, carefully carrying two steaming mugs. He handed me one, and I reached out and gently grabbed it, pulling it to my lips. I sipped it, the hot liquid running down the back of my throat. Chai. "Thank you," I mumbled, delicatly holding it against my knees. He nodded in response, and sat beside me. I wiped at my eyes with my sleeve, and sniffled. Eddie smiled at me, and I looked back down at my drink. A random TV show blared in the background, but I blocked it out. I traced my finger along the rim of the mug, and stared at the swirly, milky patterns in the chai. I blew on it, and took another sip.

  "So... The sweatshirt?" Eddie mumbled. I looked over at him, and he raised an eyebrow.

  "Um... On... On our way up to the mountains..." I struggled to say his name. "...He... He gave me the sweatshirt." I looked down at it. "I love it... But now I can't stand even seeing it..." My eyes began to water, and I blinked away the tears. Eddie sighed next to me.

  "I'm sorry. Do you want to... Throw it out?" Eddie asked me. I shook my head violently.

  "I could never, ever throw it away!" I sniffled. "I can't even imagine not having this jacket. Even though it..." My words trailed off, but Eddie knew what I meant. He nodded, and took a large gulp of his drink. I turned towards mine, and took another sip. The house phone began to ring, and Eddie started to get up to answer it. I stuck my arm out and blocked his way. "Wait for it to go to the answering machine. It might be..." I stared at the phone. Eddie leaned back into his spot.

  "You have reached the voicemail box of-" Eddie's voice sang out from the answering machine. "Aleks..." My voice broke through, loud and giggly. "And Eddie!!" A beep echoed through the room, followed by James' low, sad voice.

  "Aleks! Aleks, please answer the phone. Please, let me explain. Let me talk to you about this! It's all a big misunderstanding! Please, pick up the phone," Silence. "Eddie, Aleks... Somebody... I know you guys are home. Stop ignoring me! I need to tell you the truth, Aleks!!" I let out a choked sob, and covered my mouth with one hand, trying to hear the rest of the message. "I love you, Aleks. I love you." A loud, long beep soon came after, and I set my chai on the coffee table, and ran to my bedroom, covering my mouth, trying not to cry again. I pushed my back against the door, and slid down against it, hold my head in my hands. I stared at my toes, trying to shake my sadness off. I took several deep breaths, and closed my eyes. You're okay. You are strong. I took another deep breath, and slowly stood up, exiting my room. I sat beside Eddie, and picked up my chai, taking a huge drink from the mug.

  "You okay?" Eddie asked. I nodded, and continued to drink.

*James*
  "Still no answer?" Jordan asked, grabbing a Mountain Dew from the fridge.

  "Still no answer," I replied, and pressed my forehead against the countertop.

  "He'll come around-"

  "No, he won't, Jordan!" I shouted. "It's over! It's all over. Because of Trisha." I groaned. Jordan slapped his hand on my shoulder.

  "I'm sorry, man. Who gave her our address, anyway?" Jordan thought out loud.

  "I don't fucking know," I growled. Jordan shrugged, and headed towards his office, sipping his Dew. I slipped my fingers through my hair and sighed. God damnit. I reached into my shirt and pulled out the locket, popping it open. I smiled at the photo of my dad, and thumbed the empty space on the other side. Then, a brilliant idea popped into my head. I grabbed the camera, and my car keys, and bolted out the door to my car.

  I quickly scurried out of my car and ran towards the Target, to the Photo Development Center. I fumbled with my camera and pulled out the SD card, shoving it into the Self Devoloping machine. The first picture that popped up was the picture of Aleks. I quickly clicked it, and printed out 4 copies; 3 regular, 1 wallet sized. I took the SD card out and sprinted to my car, and drove home.

  I slammed the front door behind me and threw my keys on the counter. I jumbled through the junk drawer, and finally found a pair of scissors. I took my locket off and opened it, measuring the size of the circle. I then took the wallet sized photo of Aleks and cut it in the size and shape of the slot. I slipped it into the locket. I stared at it. Aleks sat playing guitar next to me and my happy father. I smiled, and slipped the locket back onto my neck. I took the rest of the photos and took them to my room, setting them on the nightstand. I rolled onto my bed, and looked down at my torn up fingers. I looked over at my guitar, and sighed. For Aleks.