With Love

5| With Love, Decisions|Myra

Dear Mona,
CAL SOMMERS? Black hair, brown eyes and tall as hell (for me at least, if not for giants like you)? The one who has a younger sister? I'm pretty sure we're not thinking about the same guy. I mean, you'd think that the  guy I'm talking about is a total idiot and make fun of him all the time. In fact, I bet you'd legit pity the hell out of him.

Man, it feels so weird talking about school with you. It's like a dream- and it seems so shallow and stupid. This is a jungle compared to it. Don't feel sorry for me though- I'm starting to get used to it now. A bit. I don't think you ever get totally used to it.

So well, my month finishes tomorrow here, and then everyone will be looking out to see which 'gang' I choose. Chloe and Tanya have been trying hard to get me converted to theirs, but Ariel rather lets me do my own thing. I kind of feel grateful towards her for that. I think I am going to try and do what you said though- choose no team, that is. I don't even want to, anyway. To be honest, it kind of seems childish to me- almost petulant- as if I'm not even involved with them.

But Tanya says that that's how everyone felt at the beginning, and that they 'slowly conformed to the four walls of this confinement and adjusted their ideologies slightly.'

Yes, Tanya loves English. She wants to major in it when she gets out. Oh, I've never told you how school is here, have I? (Yes Mona, jail doesn't mean no school. It means less school, and bad standard school).

For starters, most of the kids don't study, because most of them don't see the need of an education, and there is no point in forcing them to. However, the few of us who are interested do study everyday. There are different subjects available for us senior students, and for four hours each day (including Saturdays), we study. However, even the teacher don't care much about teaching us. It's kind of sad. It makes me value school even more.

God, I'm so nervous man. What if these girls majorly injure me? I mean they can't kill me- it would just add to their punishment, and all. They can't do anything visible if they want to get out soon. But then, some of them believe that this is home. They actually prefer prison to the outside world. So, they don't care. But then they don't want to go to Isolation.

I don't know, Mona. You're my strength here- I don't get these girls. I don't get their games, I don't like their ideas, and I don't care about prison. I'm starting to stop being scared now, and I'm starting to get pissed. Why can't they just let me be?

Oh well, I shall see tomorrow. I guess knowing their limits does make me feel better. There are always rules to be followed, aren't there? I mean, back when I was in the drugs business (it's feels so weird to call them drugs and not 'package' or 'shipment', etc), you had to be as honest and loyal as you could be, or die. And in return, you got to enjoy the hell out of life. It was amazing, Mona- it was intoxicating.

Now, since I've left it, I do realise that the deeper I got into it, the more toxic it got, but really. While I do regret it, I loved each and every second of it. Please don't be mad Mona.

Oh- before I forget, damn man. Ashley was a nice girl- a bit spiteful, I agree, and a major gossip, but still. There was no need to punch her. Especially since we all belong to the same group. I mean- you all belong to the same group. Somehow, I doubt they'll ever let me back in. But, you are their friend. You'll get yourself ostracised before you know it, homie. Or should I say 'babe?', eh?

Love you,
A Girl Has No Name
(Except Myra hoe).
Ps. Send love to my Louis Vuitton collection. After reading about those Prada shoes, I really miss them, mate.