I Remember You. . . I Think

Back to "Normal"

Dylan's POV

Everyday Mason and I got up early and helped search for any sign of Katie. "Boys!" We jumped when an officer called us over. We ran over and stopped when we noticed something in his hand.

"Is this Katie's?" With shaking hands I took a leather bracelet from him. I ran my thumb over the words engraved.

La Vie En Rose.

"Yeah," my voice got caught in my throat. I turned it over and couldn't breathe.

"Holy shit," Mason mumbled behind me. "Is that?"

"Blood." I whispered. "Katie's blood." Suddenly everything around me started to spin. I couldn't hear anything anyone was saying.

"Dylan," Mason said as he grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me until I snapped out of it.

"She's hurt. Mason, my Katie is lost and hurt. What if she. . ."

"She is going to be fine. We are going to find her."

"How do you know that?"

"Because I know her and I know you. She's a survivor. And you are never going to give up on her."

I looked at Mason before looking down at the bracelet. I clasped it on my wrist before looking back at Mason.

*****

After about a week of helping them search, Mason and I were forced to go back to school. The first day back was hell. I constantly found myself running my finger over the words of Katie's leather bracelet. Having it on my wrist helped me feel like she was still here. It gave me hope.

Walking through the hallway, her locker was haunting me. As I went to class, it was hard not to stare at her empty desk.

Lunch was the worse.

We use to sit all together. Me, Mason, Katie and the rest of our team mates and their girlfriends. But without Katie, it didn't feel right.

Halfway through lunch, I couldn't stand it. The looks. The stories people tried to tell to get everyone's mind off Katie. I didn't want my mind off Katie. I angrily stood up and decided to ditch my last few classes.

"Dylan!" I gripped the strap of my backpack as Mason ran to catch up to me.

"What?!" I yelled as he put his hand on my shoulder and turned me around.

"Are you okay?"

I couldn't help but scoff. "Of course I'm not okay! Everything here is just a damn reminder that I should be out there looking for her. Katie is still missing. I can't focus on trigonometry when I know she is still out there. It's been a whole week and they can't find her! Do you know what that means?! She's dead!! My best friend is probably out there lying dead at the bottom of a cliff and there is nothing I can do about it!!" He didn't follow me as I walked to my car.

*****

For the next couple of months my grades dropped, I stopped playing lacrosse, and lost all my friends except for Mason. He was the only one who never stopped trying to be friends with me. Everyone else gave up on me. They saw me as an angry, bitter person. To give them the benefit of the doubt, I was.

One night I was sitting at the dinner table with my parents. I wasn't really eating, I was more moving my food around my plate with my fork.

"Dylan?" My mother's voice snapped me out of thinking about Katie.

"Yeah?"

"Your father and I were talking and we think it would be good for you to see someone."

"See someone? What the hell does that mean?" I said coming off harsher than I had meant.

"Young man! Do not speak to your mother like that." My father said, raising his voice.

"I'm sorry mom." I sighed running my hand through my hair.

"Look sweetheart, I know losing a Katie was really hard on you. It's been 4 and a half months. I think it's time you accept the fact that. . ."

"No!" I jumped up. "I know what you are going to say and I won't. I can't. I can't accept the idea that she. . . that Katie is dead."

"Dylan, calm down and think about it. Your mother and I know how much you care about Katie."

"No," I said interrupting my dad. "You don't understand. I. . . I love her and I didn't tell her. And now. . . I can't and won't accept the fact that it may be too late. I may never be able to tell her. And I can't stand the thought of that."

My mom stood up, walked over and wrapped her arms around me. She combed through my hair with her fingers, something she did when I was little. "I wish I could tell you they are going to find her and she is going to be okay but you and I both know that if they do find her, she won't be okay. She's been gone a long time but that doesn't mean it's too late. I just want you to be prepared that if. . .when they do find her, she is most likely going to be hurt. Very hurt."

Tears streamed down my cheeks as I pictured Katie. First smiling and laughing like she was at her party. Then laying in a hospital bed with cuts and bruises all over her body.

"I just want her to come home."