take care

nine

Dear Penelope,

I was so caught up in drama the last letter that I didn't even realize until now that I had actually called you "Pen" one of the numerous nicknames you have. So yay! I can officially say your name without tearing up! This is good!

Well anyways, I assume you want to know what happened between me and Harry. It's been a week since our romantic encounter (it's been so busy, sorry I'm just now able to update you on stuff). The day immediately after both Harry and I had such bad hangovers that we just didn't look at each other. I spent most of the day out in the living room reading (The Perks Of Being A Wallflower was so good by the way!!!) It was the day after that that we were forced to communicate.

Harry explained that he was extremely drunk that night. He was getting jealous over everything because he was having difficulties being single. He apparently missed all the cute couple-y things he used to do with his past lovers, so when the ginger kissed me it had been the tipping point and he didn't want to start a fight so he left. When I got home he was (and I quote) "still horny" so I suppose that I was just in the wrong place in the wrong time.

I felt pretty bad because in the end he was crying. I put my arm around him and rested his mop of curls on my shoulder, doing what he had done for me when I was in that state. It was nice not being the broken one for once.

I assured Harry that I wasn't mad at him. He kept on saying that he was a terrible friend because he felt as if he used me for sex and he just kept on bringing himself down. I tried calming him down and told him that he hadn't used me and that it took two people to have sex so if I had thought that he was using me I wouldn't have gone through with everything. In the end we established that we had both used each other at one point and just laughed it off. He then went off to make us a cup of tea and we agreed that this wouldn't affect our friendship and we would be alright.

I do have a confession to make though: I did sorta use him. I have been questioning my sexuality and I was wondering what it would be like to have sex with a man. Harry was there and we were both horny and though I should have pushed him away, I let us take a step further.

Pen, I think there's a possibility I might end up being gay. No, I'm not gay now but after thinking about that night with Harry, I realize that I do find men attractive also so I would have to categorize myself as bisexual. Should I tell Harry that he was the one who made me realize that I am attractive to men or is that too awkward? We've already had sex so I'm not sure how bad it would be.

I'm just confused, Penny. I need to visit you soon and talk to you personally. This is all so complicated.

Take Care,

Niall x

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A/N Yay! You all know who he's writing to now! Trust me when I say that there's more to the story than the name though ;) Today I'm dedicating this to ThatKidNiti because oh my god I love her so much. Skinny Love is my favorite Larry fanfic ever, you guys have to check it. I was re-reading it for a while but I was reading so many other things I wasn't able to finish it (again). Anyways, you need to check her out cause she's amazing and yeah

Next Posting Date: January 22nd