Adopted By Zalfie

Nee noor nee noor

"DADDY!!! ALIFE!!! THe baby is coming!!"

I feel juice run down my leg to my feet, where Barry scott's juices once were.

"Ummm uh oh my god! lets um get um an um ambluence!!!"

You may be thiking where the wore zoe is?

She still lives with us, we have a 3 way relashions ship! its really good. but zoe is at waitrose now

"mia the ambulance is here lets get you in!"

Alfie heroically carried my outside and I shied my face as peasant papparatzi take photos of me

he throws me into the ambulance and gets in after me we drive away

nee naw nee nae nee naew nee naw

we get t o the hospital

make way baby coming! very special baby! special with a capital R I shout

I sit on the bed and cry I am sad

after I have babys my vagina will be bad! I don't want a bad vagina

what if Alfie doesn't want to canoodle with me anymore?1 I start having a panic attack if only zoe was here but she is at waitrose

Alfie has left the room because he cant handle watching me in pain apparenty he is outside having a cigarette because hes stressed I tink its bad because if he smokes when he kisses me I will get lung disesas and die I don't want to die because I might go to hell!

I cry and then a thing comes out my vagina

plop

its a baby!

the baby comes out so fast that it slides all the way off the end of my bed, onto the floor and out the door\\! the baby is on the corrydoor floor!

a nurse gets the baby but I jump out of bed like hthe hero I am and grab the baby

"no this is my baby don't touch him"

I call the baby snickerdoodle

he is a boy

I have another baby because we have twisn and that baby takes  long time to come

is comes out but this baby is a bit fat so it doesn't fly across the room sadly

it is a girl so I am calling it paul-sugar

shes called paul because shes named after my two sugar daddies- Paul Hollywood and alan sugar

hello paul hello sinkerdoodle I purr

I am so happy I am a mum I should tell Andrew

I message Andrew on myspace

"yo Andrew itz me ur home g (mia)  had the babyz soz I changed the baby daddy it woz for the bezt.

-yo home skillet, mia" I like to pretend to Andrew that I am gangsta with an a at the end (so he thinks I'm cool)

I cuddle the babys I love them so much! so much I just want to pour milk all over them!

"mia you have a visitor!"

who is it I think it is zoe oh wait no she is at waitrose maybe it is Alfie

"hello mia it is me barry scott"

o my god its bayrry!

"congratulations on yur babys I have a present for you all"

barry hands me a card on the card it says "unlimited cillit bang for lifetime"

thank you barry! I can be clean now and not smell homeless like livvy

I thought I should visit livvy

I get out of bed and run out with sinkerdoodle and paul-sugar I wear my camouflage clothes so that Alfie doesn't see me and it works

I get to the orphanage and nock on the door

master ogunyemi opens the door

"heloz itz me maszter ogunyemi who are you???"

"its me mia I want to see livvy please

okay

thank you

I go inside and to livvys room

"hi livvy

lol she still hasn't been adopted I'm not surprised

she has an orange face like an umpalumpa and I giggle she looks like a soggy bottom

"hello mia can I hold mary-sugar

my face boils with anger

"ITS NOT MARY SUGAR U BICH ITS PAUL SUGAR GET OUT MY HOUSE!!!"

no

I cry and leave as I leave zoe ccalls me

"mia do you want anything from waitrose I'm about to check out anylast things you need"

"I need a life"

ok ill try and get you one

"thanks I say"

I walk home and alife is there

"omgee mia I was um like I was like uh I was like like I was like worried fr you omg ur such a bitch "

why cant I do nothing right in life

I cry and go t my room and watch shreck with snickerdoodle

WAIT

WHERE IS PAUL-SUGAR!?

I MUST HAVE LEFT HIM AT THE ORPHANAGED

I need to call zoe to tell her to get him on her way home from waitrose!

I call zoe

"zoe can you get my baby from ogunyemis orphanage thankz"

"I'm still at waitrose I will after bye" zoe hangs up

I cry

I need my baby

what will Alfie say?

THZ FOR READING THIS CHAPPY HOPE U LIKE IT A LOT OF DRAMA IS HAPPENIN G RECENTLY

XOXOXOXO -REBAEBAE