Guardian (Niall Horan + Harry Styles)

chapter 21

(I hope everyone's had an amazing thanksgiving break (if you had one), mine is almost over and i've had a pretty hectic time but it was great. way too much in the fandom has happened in these past couple weeks, i could address it all but you know what I'm talking  about  so hah. tomorrow is December!!!! guess what else that means? a certain author of a certain fanfic is celebrating her date of birth ;) heh. if you've gotten tickets to wwa already, I'M.SO.JEALOUS. i tried to get a lwwy vip package but legit they sold out in the first second they were on sale. i cried :p but I'm still going to try to get regular seats on Dec. 3rd, so wish me luck :) okay this author's note is freakishly long, but that's my little update. shout out to oliviajauk56 for being such an awesome fan to the story. i read your comment on every chapter and it literally means so much, thank you gurl, ily :)  okay, enjoy the chapter now :3 

-dani)

*Niall's POV*

i have no idea what just happened, but i do know that i was talking a second ago, and now no words are coming out of my mouth. i want to speak; i want Jo to know that i'm still here for her, even though i have some dumb illness. i can't move; this is the worst feeling, trying to move but not having your body respond. 

i can feel her hand still in mine. she hasn't let go, regardless of the fact that i just passed out mid-sentence. i can hear her, feel her, everything. i'm fully aware that she's here with me. i just wish she knew that too.

i want to dry her ever-falling tears and tell her that i'm going to be alright. i want to wrap my arms around her fragile body and never let her go. but my body simply does not budge, except for a slight twitch in my hand.

she continues to hold on to my hand, apologizing for things that don't even need apologies and telling me things that i know she's never told anyone else. she completely lets go, pouring out her heart, soul, and every secret in her body, while all i can do is lay here, wishing i could  respond. i can't see anything, but i  know she's still there, even after her babbling fades out  and the room falls silent. i can hear steady breathing. she's asleep, still holding  on to me. 

i don't fall asleep. i force myself to remain awake, hoping that she will awaken and talk to me some more. i would do anything to hear her voice again. i don't want to live without it. 

or die without hearing it again.

i'm not sure if it was  hours or minutes that were passing, but after a while, a nurse walks in, asking Jo to leave. i want to yell that Jo needs to stay with me tonight. i won't be able to get by without knowing that she's right there beside me. but again, i just can't. my words get caught in my throat. 

i feel her let go of my hand, giving it one last squeeze before she's forced to pull away. my hand twitches again, somewhat responding to my mind not liking the fact that Jo's hand is gone. i can almost hear her whisper, "i love you," and whether she did or not, i heard it and that's good enough for me. the nurse ushers her out of my small hospital room, and soon,  i'm alone again.

lovely.

~~~

i wake up the next day, and for about half a second, i feel Jo next to me. the feeling vanishes, as i realize it was only a dream. 

i stare at the door, willing it to open and reveal my lover. the knob turns, and i almost jump out of my bed, but deflate myself when yet another doctor breezes through.

"i see you're awake," he greets me. "How have you been feeling?"

"Okay, i guess. i really want my girlfriend to be here. that's about all i'm feeling right now."

"i'm sorry to hear that. i'm sure she will come by soon," he winks, unfolding his clipboard and scanning my records. "you'll be receiving some different treatment today, as you had a minor black-out earlier."