A Human Worth Falling For (Book Three)

In Which Things Aren't Better

{Dean's POV}

Dean,

I'm sorry for leaving this way, but I have to go. I can't stay around you guys; you know better than anyone that I can't stay. I want you to know that I don't regret anything. I'm glad that you're safe and can be free to live your life. Please keep that promise, even if that's the only thing you do. Just be happy. If not for yourself, be happy for me. Be happy for Cas. That guy loves you almost as much as you love him. Don't let me hold you back anymore. Go buy a house, get a job, get married, adopt a kid, retire one day. Just live the life you and I both know you deserve.

And I just want to say that I'm so proud of you for everything you've done. I know better than anyone that you've given up everything for the good of this world. I'm proud of us.

I love you, big brother.

Sam

~~~

I reread my brother's letter again, trying to piece my thoughts together. Don't show this to Cas, he wrote on the envelope. Why couldn't I let Cas read it? It's not like Sam said anything that was too personal. I didn't know what to make of anything, but I wasn't going to question Sam's last request for me. Instead, I turned off the lamp and rolled to face a sleeping Cas.

~~~

"Dean, wake up."

I swatted at the hands shaking me. "Cas, come on... Let me sleep."

Cas ended his attempts at annoying me awake in favor for straddling my waist and kissing me. I laughed and pushed him off the bed.

"Are you awake now?" Cas asked from the floor.

I just shook my head, pulling the blanket over my face.

~~~

"I don't understand. It's been three weeks since your brother left. You were fine at first. Why are you so upset now?" I was sitting at the table, staring into space as Cas talked to me. "Dean, say something. You've disappeared these past two weeks. What happened?"

I shrugged. I still wouldn't look at him. I knew I was breaking his heart, but I couldn't bring myself to respond.

"Okay," Cas said, letting out a long stream of air. "I'm going to take a shower. When you're ready to talk, come find me."

Even after he left, my eyes never strayed from their place on the wall.

~~~

It was around two in the morning, and I was still watching the unmoving blackness on the ceiling. Giving up, I decided to focus on Cas. His features were illuminated by the hallway lights; he looked every bit the angel he used to be.

He deserved so much more than me; I don't know why he was still around.

At that moment, I knew that I had two choices: I either had to change or lose Cas. The latter wasn't an option.

So, at almost three o' clock in the morning, I decided to be the man Cas deserved.

~~~

After that night, Cas seemed to be so happy again. Life really did look like it was going our way. It's not that I forgot about Sam; I never forgot about my brother. I just decided that I wouldn't let his sacrifice be in vain. I wished I could contact him somehow, though. I wanted more than anything that he wasn't gone completely.

But if that's what Sam wanted, that was fine with me. I would respect and honor his choices. Even if I disagreed with him.

When I told Cas that, he wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace.

"I love you," he told me.

I laughed at the randomness of the confession. "I love you too."

We walked into our new apartment, and I set down the last box I carried from the car.

"Now, we just have to unpack," I sighed with a look around the room.

~~~

It took a week to get completely settled in to our new home and even longer than that to adjust to our new lives. But we got there within a month or two.

In the middle of getting used to everything, Cas decided to surprise me with dinner at my favorite restaurant.

He kept pulling at his collar all night, which was odd. He spent years wearing a suit, yet he only wore a dress shirt that night. It might have been because his only wardrobe lately had been Tshirts and jeans.

"Are you okay?" I asked him during dessert.

"I've just been thinking, Dean. I know that I'm more accustomed to human things, but I haven't tried this ritual yet."

I frowned at the way he was talking. He sounded like that confused angel again. "Accustomed? Ritual? Cas, what's going on?"

His startling blue eyes met mine. "I love you," he said, never breaking contact. "And I've never done this before, so forgive me if I do this wrong."

Everything made sense when he got out of his chair and bent on one knee. He pulled a ring out of his pocket, which I seemed to have completely missed all night, and smiled. "We've been through a lot together; we fell in love in high school, forgot each other, found our way back together, and saved the other from so many things in our lives. I don't regret a single moment of this path we've found ourselves on. I would fall a billion times over just to have a moment longer with you. You are one human who is worth falling for. You are someone extraordinary, and I'm incredibly lucky to call you mine. So, Dean Winchester, will you marry me?"

I fought back the tears so I could give him a proper response. "Of course."