Wonderful Pain

Chapter 12: The Brilliant Plan and the Terrible Plot

Chapter 12: Theo's P.O.V

"So, how was the date?" John pressed, as soon as I had stepped inside the door.

After the event in the sauna I had gotten dressed and met Natalie by the hotel lobby. She had driven me home, and we had both only said two words throughout the entire car ride; "I'm sorry."

"I don't want to talk about it," I grumbled, heading straight to my room.

John frowned and moved in front of me. He crossed his arms and said, "Whoa whoa whoa, what's the matter? I hate it when you're all depressed. Out with it!"

I groaned and tried to push past him. "I really don't want to talk about it! Can't you just respect my feelings?" I pleaded.

He laughed and continued to block my way. "Now, now, Theo, the only reason I made an exception in the hospital was because you were lying there, all pitiful and fucked up. You are now fine and standing right here in front of me, so I see no reason to take pity on you now."

He grabbed my waist and flipped me over so that he was holding me upside-down.

"John!" I yelped.

John grinned. "Nope, out with it, sport, or I'm going to enjoy you passing out from the blood rushing to your head and you being put in an asylum for three weeks because of your suicidal 'accident'."

I growled. "Since when were you so cruel?!"

"Since you decided not to tell me what was going on!"

I made an exasperated sound and did my best to throw my hands in the air (or rather, to the ground). "Fine! I'll tell you! Just let me down, please, I can't afford to be thrown in the hospital and then the asylum again! Everyone would hate and distrust and pity me, and I don't even want to think about what Natalie and my mom would do to me!"

He chuckled and walked over to the couch, where he ever so gently (notice my sarcasm) dumped me.

"Stupid werewolf-vampire strength," I grumbled.

He sat down next to me and propped his head up on his hands. "Ok. What is it?"

I couldn't hold it in any longer. I had to tell someone.

I exploded (not literally).

"She's teasing me! She's tearing me apart from the inside! Getting inside my head and messing with my emotions, shoving them all this way and that! I can't take it!"

He put his hands in the air in defense, as if I would hurt him. "Whoa, dude, calm down and give me some detail."

I took a deep breath. "She doesn't do it intentionally. It's every kiss, every touch that does it to me. I want to have sex with her, but she's not ready, so I wait. But every kiss, every touch makes it harder! Makes the desire come back stronger." I put my hands in my hands and groaned. "Am I not supposed to feel this way? Am I doing something wrong? I just don't want to hurt her, John.....I wouldn't be able to live with myself then. I worry about hurting her all the time. I worry about going to far....I want to, but she's not ready. So I can't.....but some part of me wonders, what if I did? I would die. Maybe even literally. She would have to live with it.....she would be destroyed. I can't hurt her....."

He frowned. "No, sport, that's just life. That's just girls. For some reason, virginity is so important to them. Us guys just don't get it." He laid back. "But, that's just another difference between the genders. However, Theo, no matter how hard it will be for you, you have to wait. Either that, or break the relationship."

John sighed. "Theo, did you ever think that something may have scarred her for life in her past that made her not want to have sex? Maybe she's worried and needs to learn to trust you more first. Forcing it will only make her hate you and regret it, and a first time is supposed to be something special that you can remember and smile at. Give her time."