Things are okay/stable-ish right now, Dad still drinks, I still stay away from him as much as possible, I still have problems w/ life w/ Faye, still not-dating-but-dating-kinda' Tholmas. I love him so much. I feel no hesitation when I think/say that. Faye & I are getting better; mostly b/c I've stopped trying to work w/ it. I've given up. I'll play by their rules & then move out. On Saturday I walked to the park in the rain just so I could get out of the house. It got to me so much that day. All I hear is how Logan & I aren't perfect & we're not doing stuff right, etc-ness. Same 'ole, same 'ole. So I've decided to play it safe & become the perfect, Angelic, never do anything wrong girl again.
But I'm still gonna' demand that they play fair too. I'm pulling my own weight & I won't be ignored for that fact. Dad came to the park after I "stomped out" (his words) of the house & I let everything come off my chest about the house & my feelings & of course that got him on the whole bandwagon of "changing things" & "meshing two households together" & blah blah blah. He's been more attentive now to me & all lovey-y, but I say it lasts for the rest of this month and things lag again. [I don't even think it lasted that long. His habit was to promise grand things & then never come through with them.] *rolls eyes* Whatever.
I'm out of my mom's house in 38 days, so my life should be a whole third better. Altho five bucks something new pops up to make my life a living heckness again. All I ask Satan is to give me January & February off. Just to straighten out my affairs and get my head together. Then he can attack me all he want. Grr. I'm so ready to die. The Scriptures say that death is our enemy not our friend, but sure is one mighty fine pretender. If I got shot fatally, I probably wouldn't try to get help. I'd pray, say "I Love You Thomas," & smile as I fade away. So simple.
-Rane C.
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The Diary Project 2-Relationships
Non-FictionRane's almost out of high school and she's already out of her first relationship. How will her newly budding friendship with Thomas fare? And will she be able to hold her life together as she moves into the newest phase of her life?
