to evoke emotion

9

I used to get high for fun

Now, when I'm sober, I go insane

I've lost myself and I can't remember who I was before I encountered drugs

Who have I turned into? Will I do anything in my life that will amount to something?

I guess the only way to find out is to keep living, but what if I'm tired of getting high and hallucinating when I'm sober?

It's an endless cycle. Cheek a pill, crush it, snort it. Cheek a pill, crush it, snort it. Cheek a pill...

My parents and grandparents have caught me with my drugs several times

I wonder how they feel when they catch me

Disappointed? Angry? Upset? Sad?

No matter how many times they catch me, no matter how many times I get sent to treatment centers, I will continue to go through the cycle: cheek, crush, snort

Being addicted has made me into a convincing liar

"Did you steal the pill from outside of the safe?"

"No! Why would I ruin your trust in me as soon as you're finally trusting me enough to leave a pill out of the safe?"

I basically just bullshit my way through life

How am I supposed to focus on school when there's drugs to think about?

What's the point of even doing schoolwork when I'm so far behind that I'll fail all my classes?

When my grandparents give me my pills and don't watch me take them, they're practically begging me to cheek them. There goes the cycle again: cheek, crush snort

Do I even want to stop? Do I? No, I don't

Why don't I want to stop?
I'll stop when I find something that makes me just as happy as the drugs do