Eyes of Emerald

Chapter 18 - Dread

        Another week passed uneventfully. Wynn was still training hard, and in silence. Often he would return to the camp late at night, and then close himself into his tent and wouldn't come out again until the morning. I was worried for him. He was pale every time I saw him, and he hardly touched his food. 

        Celie and Ffi told me to leave him. Apparently he went like this often, and for no reason. No one knew why, and no one knew when he would return to his normal self. My heart sunk when I heard this - I wanted the old Wynn back, the Wynn that was gentle and happy, not this killing machine he seemed to be trying to turn himself into. 

        They told me to carry on as if it were normal. It wasn't, and it was incredibly difficult to tear myself away from him. It was surprising how fast I had become attached to him. 

        I sighed, and picked out a dagger from my belt, where five sharp steel throwing knives hung. I tried to clear my thoughts; I always threw better if my mind was clear. The dagger was cold in my palm and I angled it so that it would fly straight at the target. I breathed in and out heavily, calming me as much as possible. Then, as I breathed out, I let it fly. 

        Thump. I heard the length of steel hit the target and looked up to see the quivering silver knife on sticking out of the second ring from the centre. 

        I smiled slightly. Better than last time. 

        But still not good enough. 

        I sighed again, pulling the dagger from the straw target. My heart was heavy as I walked out to the tent and collapsed on my bunk. Why was nothing going right for me? For the first time in my life, I was happy, and now they had to go and ruin it for me? My boyfriend was perfect, and now he was ignoring me and everyone. What had I done to make it all go wrong? Was it my fault?

        I lay my head back on the pillow that had become soft over the weeks. I had been accepted as a Shifter, no one seemed to think that I was a traitor or a spy. I had friends, I thought drowsily, before letting myself sink down into the depths of sleep.
                

        I woke some time later, hearing shouts and screams. What was going on? 

        Immediately awake, I scrambled down from my bunk and strapped on my knives and emergency pack in case we were invaded. I looked out of the door, and almost collapsed on the spot. 

        Fire was everywhere. Torches, flames devouring the canvas tents like they were nothing. I didn't know if anyone was inside them. 

        Dark shapes were running around, waving swords and shields and bows, screaming battle cries at the tops of their lungs. We were under attack!

        Arrows on fire flew close to me as I stood, clutching the tent flap with hands that wouldn't let go. My knees wanted to buckle, but I refused to let them. I would not show weakness. I would fight. 

        My jaw was trembling, my teeth chattering together so hard it was painful. My breathing was erratic and I noticed I was shaking all over. What did I do? Where were my friends? Were they even alive?

        No. They couldn't be dead - Celie with her archery skills would manage to take out everyone from a distance. Angel and her swords would manage to cut down everyone without mercy. Ffi would be the same, with her Elemental powers added in. She would be blasting the enemy with fire, water and earth, blowing those who came too close away with her air power. And Iris? Who knew what she would be doing, but knowing her, it would be bad. Her witchy/warlock powers would come in handy here. 

        They would be fine, you don't need to worry about them, I told myself as I watched the screaming shapes battle each other, locked in deadly dances. 

        An arrow came flying towards me as fast as a bullet, the tip on fire. I didn't have any time to move, it was on to me before I could do anything. 

        It flew past me, trailing fire. It rocketed over my shoulder, the fire just catching my hair and singing it. I whipped my head around and saw it land next to the can of petrol Iris kept 'just in case.' No one knew what 'just in case' was, but now I had to get away before it blew the whole tent up.

        Faintly I registered falling to my knees and pushing myself up. The whole world seemed to be in slow motion as I ran, my knees feeling like jelly. I was more wobbling than running. 

        I dared to glance over my shoulder and saw the arrow burning out next to the can. Inside I breathed a sigh of relief. 

        Suddenly it caught, and the tent exploded and I was flying forward. 

        I didn't have time to scream as I was pushed forward. The air was sucked out of my lungs and I landed hard, a wave of hot air flying over me. 

        I rolled over, wincing as my ears popped. My whole body ached, but I had to get up. Ignore the pain, Autumn. Do it for your friends. For Angel. 

        I heaved myself up, tears falling from my eyes. Crying won't help you, Autumn! Stop it!

        I wiped them away, clenching my jaw tight and looked around. Still no one had noticed me, but people were beginning to look in my direction. No mercy, I thought. God, I sound like Iris or Ffi. 

        Every breath was painful, and fear was ruling my body. I felt like I was about to shut down at any moment, and I hadn't done any fighting yet. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to fight through the night. 

        I would find out soon enough, I though grimly as I pulled a dagger from my belt. Where do I go? 

        The answer came to me almost immediately. Find my friends. Help them. It was simple. 

        Well, if you count battling your way through a horde of monsters and goodness knows what else to find your friends who may or may not be alive simple. 

        I grinned. I had a mission now, I couldn't give in now. 

        A screaming little...thing came running full pelt at me, its little ugly face contorted in a snarl as it brandished a spear that seemed far too long for it to hold. I froze, and it managed to cut me in my shin slightly before I came to my senses and kicked it out of the way. 

        It flew a good two metres. I didn't stop to see what happened after that, I just ran into the horde. 

        Worst decision of my entire life.

        Little goblin things were attacking me from all directions, their little spears cutting my knees and legs, sending tiny explosions of pain up my legs. But still, I kept running.

        I couldn't see anyone I knew, only fighters covered in mud and blood, their faces contorted into snarls as they threw themselves forward into battle, possibly to their deaths. So brave. I wish I could be like them. 

        I kept fighting, kicking away the little monsters whenever I could, and trying not to kill anyone. And all the time I was moving, trying to find my friends, just a glimpse to show that they were all right would be enough. 

        I seemed to be on autopilot, my brain and thoughts elsewhere as my body and animal instincts taking over. The ancient human seemed to come out in me, the survival instinct that had been hidden deep inside coming out, showing itself at last. I would do anything to live, even if it meant that others would have to die. 

        I didn't want to have to do that. I didn't want to have the brand of murderer, even if it was in self defence. Even if people didn't brand me as one, I would brand myself as one. I would forever torture myself in my mind for taking someone's life...

        I was awoken from my thoughts by a sight I did not want to see. It was a dark shape, kneeling over a stocky girl with her brown hair spread out over the ground like a fan. It was too familiar, I remembered the night this all began. The night my life stopped and began anew. The night I discovered my destiny. 

        Angel was on the floor. Underneath a soldier, one who wore a dark cloak like a shadow. I saw the glint of silver, which brought me to my senses. 

        Anger flooded me, along with a desire to kill that man, to destroy him, to grip him in my arms and crush the life from him. I wanted to rip him apart. Anything to get him away from my friend.

        My vision turned red, everything tinged in the colour of blood. Then it grew lighter, and sharper, and I focused in on the man who was raising the dagger. I had to move now. 

        I snarled, curling my lip, and pounced. 

        I didn't feel any pain, I didn't feel any tightness in my muscles. It felt as natural as breathing. As I leaped, I felt a breath of fresh air pass over me, and suddenly everything was clear. 

        I could hear the battle cries louder, and could make out what they were saying. There seemed to be more of them, they were grouping together to form one huge shout. 

        I heard anguished sobs, screams of pain and grief. I heard the laboured breathing of someone close to death. The smell of blood was in the air, coppery pennies all around. The salty smell of sweat and tears were mixed in as well, with the tangy smell of fear. 

        I didn't have any time to register all that though. I crashed into the man, pushing him off Angel and landing on all fours. I tried to get up onto my two legs but I couldn't. 

        I looked down, and saw two hairy paws instead of feet, and felt a tinge of joy mixed with panic. It was obvious what had happened. 

        I could Shift.         

        At last, was all I could think, before snarling and leaping on top of the fallen soldier. I let my instinct take over and before I knew what I was doing, my jaw was dripping with blood and there was a gaping hole in his neck. 

        He was dead. 

        I had killed him. 

        I was murderer. No better than King Balthazar when he had killed Cain.

        I sank to the ground on all fours, the noises echoing around me. I felt the warm wetness of the blood on my tongue before I tasted it, like wet pennies in my mouth. It dripped and I could feel the fur of my muzzle wet and red with blood. 

        My muzzle. How easily that thought had flowed through my mind. Yes, like every day you change into a wolf or something of the sort. 

        I shook my head, and looked back to Angel, who was feebly stirring. The just-healed wound on her shoulder had opened up again, despite its advanced stage in healing. Blood stained her brown leather breastplate. It's a strange colour, blood. People say it's red, but it's not. It's darker than red, more of a mix of red, and brown. It shines and spreads quickly. 

        I nudged Angel with my nose, trying to tell her to get up, we have to go! It's too dangerous here, but all that came out was a plaintive whine. 

        I preferred being a human.

        Suddenly a cry came from nowhere, and I turned to see a tall, willowy youth come flying at us, sword drawn and long dark hair flying. I saw his pale eyes flashing and wondered what on earth he was. Not a Fae, not a Shade, not a Werewolf. Not a Shifter, a Witch or a Warlock. So what?

        I didn't have time to think any more about that. One thought slammed its way into my brain. 

        Shift!

        Again, it happened as easily as breathing. I felt the warm rush of air as I pounced again, this time changing into a tiger, my skin rippling with muscle. It came easily to me now. I was conscious of what I wanted to change to. I knew exactly what I was doing. 

        The tall youth stopped when he saw me Shift, and whispered something under his breath in a language that sounded almost like singing. I couldn't stop myself though, I was already flying through the air at him. 

        My front paws landed on his chest, pushing him backwards and landing heavily on top of him with an oof! I growled, some slobber landing in his face (the still human part of me thought eww but I didn't have any time to act on it), and I leapt off him to protect Angel. 

        She stirred when I paced next to her, the sounds of battle still ringing in my ears as the youth got up, his pale eyes full of terror as he sprinted away, the claw marks bringing lines of red along his chest. I nudged her face this time, and her eyes opened. 

        She saw me, and her eyes opened wide, fear clawing its way in. She tried to get up, but I nudged her gently once again, trying to tell her that it was me. She looked into my eyes, and something registered before she winced in pain and she clutched her shoulder once again. 

        Tears fell from her eyes, silver in the night, and she pressed hard on the wound, trying to stem the blood flow. It bubbled up from the gaps in her fingers though, and she winced again. I could tell that she was in some serious pain. 

        I growled slightly, thinking how good it would be to be able to talk once again. The breath of warm air blew over me once again and I found myself kneeling on the ground, fully clothed once more. I didn't know how my clothes had survived the Shift, but I was glad I hadn't changed back to find I was naked. 

        My vision and hearing was suddenly dull, and I felt like the whole world had turned the volume down. It had lost its sharpness and suddenly I realised that my ears were ringing and my head was throbbing because of the noise. 

        "A...Autumn!" Angel cried out, seeing me. I blinked, trying to get used to the new sensations. I had only been an animal for about five minutes (or it could have been five days, I had lost track of time), but I had quickly adapted to it. 

        "Angel." I gasped, kneeling beside her and holding my hand over the wound on her shoulder. 

        "You're...bleeding." she told me weakly. I looked down to my leg and saw the trouser stained almost completely red. I couldn't feel any pain. Adrenaline had made me numb. I would feel pain later. 

        "So are you," I told her, which made her laugh weakly, before coughing hard. I held her as she coughed, tears smearing the grime on my face. I bet I looked worse than after I had finished the obstacle course...

        I sobbed slightly, thinking about Wynn. He was a good enough fighter to have survived up until now...but when he got tired, his judgements were clouded and he never made the best decisions. Those were the only times people were ever able to beat him  -  tire him out is the secret. 

        "You have to...find Ffi. Find her. She can help...you need help for that. Wounds from them are...bad..." she whispered to me, her voice quiet and her eyes closed. I shook my head. 

        "No!" I told her. "No, I'm not leaving! You need help, medicine..." I trailed off hopelessly. Angel shook her head slightly, the movement hardly noticeable. 

        "No...I'm...nearly gone...save yourself. I'll be fine...miss you," she wheezed, and her eyes closed again. They didn't reopen. 

        I sobbed, my back heaving. My breath was leaving me, I was panting hard, the tears coming so thick and so fast that I couldn't see. 

        I didn't want to see. 

        I kneeled there, sobbing, for a long time. The battle raged around us, people dying and screaming around us, but I paid no attention. Angel was unconscious, possibly dead, and I couldn't stop the bleeding. 

        Stop crying Autumn. How is crying going to help her now? You have to apply pressure! The smart devil in my mind yakked on for ages about how to stop bleeding, but it had at least made me think straight. Pressure. 

        I ripped a piece of my shirt away, the gold material ripping easily. I pressed it to the wound on her shoulder and felt the warm blood soaking in easily. It was warm and I remembered the man's throat when I had ripped it open, leaving a huge bloody hole in it. 

        The taste of his blood filled my mouth again as I turned to the side and retched. 

        Phlegm came up, tasting bitter and sour but infinitely better than the taste of blood. Tears streaked my face but I wiped them away roughly. I wouldn't cry. 

        I tied off the makeshift bandage tightly, hoping it would last, and stood once more. I felt exhausted, but I had to battle on. Clashes of swords and cries of grief were echoing around the area. I felt the pain in the hearts of people, but it was numbed by adrenaline. It would all come crashing down later. 

        I ran faster than I could ever have thought. The tears of loss were falling, blurring my vision. I felt warm blood running down my legs, but still no pain pierced me. 

        People passed in blurs, locked in battle with their own enemies. I was overlooked, a simple young girl running, possibly in fear or possibly in grief. No one knew exactly why, not even me. 

        It was some time before I saw the blur of red and blue that was Ffi. Fire wreathed her arms, flames licking at her fingers, red, orange, yellow and black at the tips. Her other arm was bathed in a blue light, water splashing and swirling around her limb. 

        She wore a snarl, her eyebrows furrowed in concentration as she fended off her attacker. Her violet eyes seemed to fill her entire face, she was breathing heavily as she wobbled and struggled to stand. She was losing this battle. 

        She cried out, a war cry that was full of emotion, love for her friends, anger and pain. Tears streaked her face and I saw blood pouring from her side, where something had dug into her skin. 
        She needed help. 

        The word hit my brain again, and I ran. 

        Shift!

        I leaped for the attacked, transforming in mid air into an eagle this time, and raking my claws down the attackers chest, lines of red springing out. My vision sharpened a thousand times and I saw every pore in his face, every eyelash, every hair on his head. 

        He was a Warlock, his bright blue eyes as blue as the sky. Instead of the happy, smiling faces of the warlocks I knew, he wore a snarl, his face contorted in pain and concentration. He had dark hair, similar to Wynn's, and his chiselled jaw was almost identical. 

        I cawed loudly, flapping my wings. I was bigger than I could ever have imagined, my wingspan huge. I raked my claws down the cuts once more, making him scream and fall back. I changed back, the warm air passing over me as I Shifted back to a human. 

        The enemy was laid on the ground, clutching his chest and moaning in pain. I curled my lip and looked back at Ffi, the light dying from her arms. She held her side, breathing heavily as she smiled. 

        "Well done, Shifter," was all she said, before falling forward. 

        I ran to catch her, and lowered her to the ground. Why must she have been injured? Was this to happen to all of those I love?

        "Ffi..." I said, biting my lip as I saw her violet eyes return to normal. "Who is this? What's happened?" 

        "King Balthazar...troops...this is Lord Aare...right hand man..." Ffi said, her face contorted in pain as she tried to stay awake. 

        "How can I help you?" I asked quickly, looking around for anything that I could help her with. 

        She shook her head. "Can't. I have to...do this myself." she muttered. "Go. Find Iris."

        I gritted my teeth. 

        "No!" I cried. "I'm not leaving you!"

        "Autumn?" came a deep voice, and I turned and saw the one face I wanted to see the most. 

        Wynn Weatherstaff. 

        I smiled, and ran to hug him tightly. Blood was flowing from a cut on his face, but he looked handsomer than ever to me. 

        "Wynn!" I cried joyfully, burying my head in his strong shoulders. He hugged me tight. 

        "You're alive," he told me, his voice full of relief. "I thought..."

        "Don't say that!" I told him tearfully. My voice was full of pain and happiness, and love. I had never realised it before, but now I did. 

        I loved him. I loved Wynn Weatherstaff. 

        "Wynn?" came a weak voice, and Wynn and I broke apart to see the attacker - Lord Aare - standing. He wobbled slightly, but stood, leaning on his blood-stained sword, a snarl on his face. I saw Wynn's face change, his eyes fearful and wide, filling with hate and love. 

        How those emotions went together, I did not know. But what I do know is that the next words Lord Aare spoke were the ones that changes my life. 

        "Wynn...come. Come to your father." 

        I swear my heart stopped for a moment. I looked up at Wynn, his bloody face sad and tired. This couldn't be true. It wasn't. He was lying.

        "W-Wynn?" I whispered. "What's he saying? Why-" 

        "Shut up, Autumn." he said tightly. I shifted my gaze from Wynn to the man who claimed he was his father, and back again. 

        "Wynn...come. Your mother is waiting." Lord Aare said quietly, holding out a bloody hand. "Come, Wynn. You know what he will do if you do not." 

        "What?" Wynn asked, and suddenly his voice was small, like a child's. He sounded young again, a small boy speaking to the one person he would always love and respect. 

        "He will kill her, Wynn. Will you let him do that? Will you let her die so you can stay here...knowing all your life that your mother is dead?" Lord Aare sounded desperate. "Please, Wynn. Come."

        "I-" Wynn looked wildly at me. His eyes were sad. "Autumn..."

        "Wynn?"

        "I...I have to go..." he told me, a tear coming from his bright blue eye. "I...I'll miss you," he said, his deep voice choked with emotion. He hugged me tight, then kissed me. 

        It wasn't like all the other times, and I hope I'm not being too cliché when I say that. It was true, though - before his kisses had been insistent, gentle and loving, like I was delicate. Now it was full of pain and loss, and suffering. It was harder than I was used to, passionate and full of love. Tears mixed with the kiss, salty and wet. 

        "I'm...going to miss you, too," I told him, my eyes blurring with tears. He hugged me tight, before limping over to Lord Aare, who was wearing a smirk. 

        "Welcome home, son." he told Wynn, before grasping his arm and they disappeared in a swirl of black smoke. 
        I fell to my knees, suddenly exhausted. The adrenaline was running out, and pain was beginning to come through, sharp and insistent, demanding to be felt.         

        My breathing was shallow and laboured, and I felt tired. Oh, so tired, like I had run a marathon. 

        I felt someone stand over me and I fell to the ground, the pain taking over me. I was so tired I couldn't even scream. 

        Then Ffi said a word I dreaded. 

        "Poison," she gasped.