Winning Her Back

Chapter Thirty Three

Tatum POV

Do you ever miss someone so much that your heart starts to hurt? This pounding sensation in your chest, and that wave of loneliness. Imagine feeling that way for six years; trying to deny the pain every time you wake up and every time you fall asleep. It seems bad, huh? But I handled it, I'm some what okay. Some what normal. 

So tell me why being away from Ryan for the past 6 hours has permanently pressed a frown onto my face, caused a heard of elephants to uncomfortably rumble in my stomach, and a large, empty space in my heart to appear. It hurts, worse than it did for the past 6 years and I couldn't understand why. If I could handle 6 years, why couldn't I handle these past 6 hours?

I mean I've spent time away from Ryan since we decided to get back together, but I've never felt like this.

As I continued thinking of the reasons for my depressed state- the real reason's why being away from Ryan was internally ripping me to shreds- a thought popped into my mind. I'm not sure where the idea came from, but after thinking about the possibilities, I realized that maybe I was ready to have a  more legitimate relationship with Ryan. Maybe I wanted more, like a piece of paper. Like a last name. Sure I've been in love with Ryan, but now being reunited after that long period of separation, I realized I couldn't live with out him. I was ready to marry him- even if I've only been with him for the past couple of months. 

I'm not saying that I want to push Willow and Zach off the alter tomorrow morning, pull Ryan up and pay the priest 20 bucks so he will say our names instead of the originally appointed ones. But, when Ryan decides to get on one knee, the ring will be on my finger before he even says "will you marry me?"

As my high school best friends, current roommate, and the bride-to-be continue to dance their butts away on the dance floor, I take a seat at the club's bar, ordering a Shirley Temple. The bartender gives me a curious look- surely (pun intended (Shirley) (ha)) a girl dressed in hooker heals and leather pants that look like they were painted on my legs wouldn't be ordering a nonalcoholic drink at a bachelorette party. 

Mentally rolling my eyes, I slip my phone out of my clutch and start to compose a text to Ryan. 

I miss youuuuu. Wish we were cuddling :(

I grin at the thought of being tucked in his king size bed, his arms tightly wrapped around my waist as he nuzzles his head in my shoulder. Mmmm, that is just blissful.

My phone vibrates in my hand and it takes me a millisecond to unlock it and open the message.

I'm down.. see you at my apartment in 5. 

I giggle, though a frown quickly appears on my face.

I wish. Will would kill me :( 

Texting Ryan makes me miss him more. If it wasn't my best friends bachelorette party and I wasn't the maid of honor, I'd be sprinting to where ever he is right now. And I don't sprint.. ever.

Damn it! To hell with my future sister in law! Haha.... I miss you, babe, but go have fun! I love you super duper much! See you in the AM... 

I reply with a long message explaining how much I love him and how much I miss him before placing my phone in my pocket. When I pushed Ryan away from my thoughts- sort of, kind of- It took me a few minutes to realize that I was in a bar, nonetheless clubbing with my friends. I hadn't even noticed that my Shirley Temple was in front me. I mutter a thank you to the bartender, who was pervishly watching all of the women dancing on the dance floor, before taking a long sip of my virgin drink. This was going to be a long, horrible sober night... 

___ _____ ______

Another 4 hours had past, making it 1AM and I was tired beyond belief. I hadn't realized that this night would be so long. Only a few times did I remove myself from my seat- both against my will and voluntarily. Besides going to the bathroom, the only other time my butt left the chair was when Willow and Edie dragged me to the dance floor. 

Not only did I feel pathetic, but I felt sorry for Willow. I'm her maid of honor, and here I am mopping the night away. But, it was so hard for me to share the excitment and energy when all I wanted to do was snuggle with my boyfriend. Eventually, my friends saw right through my fake smiles and forced laughter and let me be by the bar, half enjoying the 7 and counting Shirley Temples I've demolished over the night. 

I had preoccupied myself with my phone, playing level after level of Candy Crush. My past addiction had slowly started to form again and I couldn't help but get frusterated when a call interrupted my game. My irritation had washed away, however, when I figured it was Ryan on the other side of the call. He would be the only one up at 1AM to call me right now- all my friends had left their phones with me and my parents and brother were probably sleeping. So, dismissing the caller ID, I gave a peppy "Holy fuck, do I miss you."

Now, if I have to tell you one thing- teach you one lesson, besides not leaving the country to forget about your soulmate- it would be to check your caller ID. 

It could you be your mom, your dad, your younger sister, your older brother, maybe your best friend. But only if you're lucky, and I mean REALLY REALLY LUCKY, if you are having a night like mine, it would be Simon Cowell. 

"It has been a while now, hasn't it, Ms. Wistler." My breath hitched in my throat as I realized it was the big man, my boss. 

"Simon- echm, Mr. Cowell, sorry. Um, I was- I was um... Listen, sorry about that. I didn't mean to-" 

"Tatum," He said with a chuckle, cutting me off. "I've heard the word before. I assume you were expecting another phone call? We can chat another time?" 

"No! I mean, no. Um, right now is good. Let me just step outside. You see, it's my best friends bachlorette party and I've been- well you don't care, ha." I nervously ramble as I walk through the doors and into the fresh air. 

Did I just say "holy fuck" to Simon Cowell? 

Siri, where can I find a big black hole that can swallo me up and erase my existence?

"Ah, the famous wedding. Harry Styles is attending that party as well, right? He was telling me about it- Gabby's roommates best friends wedding, I think he said." 

I lightly laughed. This guy wasn't so bad after all. "Yup, that's the one. So, I'm sure you called me for a reason, other to discuss my best friends wedding." 

"Yes, of course." He said, clearing his throat. "Tatum, I booked you a flight for the day after tomorrow. In the afternoon. The book was absolutely splendid and after going over a couple minor things, I would love to get the story into stores." 

I was at lost for words. Either because Simon Cowell loved my book or because I would have to fly back to London in two days. 

"S-sure. Yeah, um, just send me the information. Yeah, I'll be there. Um, how many days would I be gone?" 

"A week at most. We have to discuss a lot, but it can all be settled in 3 to 5 days, hopefully." 

"Ok, um, ok. Thanks. That sounds good." 

With an exchanged of goodbyes, I hung up my phone and slipped it back into my pocket. 

A week in London- starting in two days. A week away from my family, my friends. A week away from Ryan. 

How the hell was I supposed to do this? I could handle 6 years. I could handle the distance, the heartbreak. But, now I'm a mess after 6 hours. 

How am I going to be after a week?

A/N:: This is barely edited so sorry for any mistakes! I wanted to get something out because I have so many projects to do for AP Lit and I have an ED SHEERAN concert on tuesday so I won't be updating, unless I want to procrastinate- which never happens so don't expect anything! 

Ok byeee 

and thanks to the few people that comment and vote- it honestly means a lot!