Winning Her Back

Chapter Nineteen

Tatum POV

"Nice place you've got. Very manly," I teased as I walked further into the apartment. 

"Thanks! You can just put your bags by the door." I did as I was told and followed Ryan into the kitchen. "Want a drink?" 

"Just water." Within seconds, a glass of water was being handed to me. "Very fast service! I should come here more often." Ryan ignored my sarcastic tone as he lead me to the TV room. 

"What movie would you like to watch? I've got- oh want to watch Despicable Me?" He looked up to see my surprised face. "Oh come on, I know you love that movie. Tatum, you were obsessed with this movie. You can't not like it now!" 

I didn't even try to stifle the giggle that left my lips. "Of course I still love it, I'm just surprised you own that movie. But yeah, put it on." Chuckling, Ryan put the DVD into the slot and sat down next to me, casually reaching his arm around the couch, like every guy does. 

It was really nice and brought back some great memories, sitting here with Ryan. However, I couldn't get the fact of how close we were out of my head. His arm was basically wrapped around my shoulder and our knees were nearly touching. I was getting restless with my position on the couch, my legs pressed together, hands placed firmly on my laps. My shoulders were tense, my neck stiff, there was no way I was moving. There was no way I would make any physical contact with Ryan's body.

When the movie was suddenly paused, I turned around, finally moving from the uncomfortable position, to see an annoyed looking Ryan. 

"I can read you look a book" He blurted out, startling me. "Please, get comfortable and stop making things awkward. I don't care if you lean on me or lean on the arm rest, but sitting there like a statue is not relaxing." Ryan said. 

"I am relaxed." I protested. 

"Tatum, besides Gabby and Willow, I probably know you better than anyone- especially since you haven't changed. I'm not playing the movie until you are comfortable." Ryan's effort was sweet- yet his persistence was irritating. "Come on" He urged, patting his lap. 

I groaned, mumbling a 'fine' before I was curled into Ryan's side. "This isn't awkward, right?" I asked him, slightly looking up. I wasn't sure if I was asking myself or him, nor did I really know if it was awkward. I was lying on my ex's chest watching a movie, completely enjoying myself. It should be awkward. I shouldn't feel comfortable. But I did.

"Of course not. Ex's watching a cartoon that is 8 years old while cuddling on a couch. Normal." 

It was normal, sure. Ha. Albeit the sarcasm, part of me wanted it to actually be normal. I wanted him to hold me. I wanted his lips to plant themselves on my own, just as I wanted to intertwine our fingers and entangle our legs.

I wanted Ryan back.

But as much as I wanted him and he wanted me, we were over 6 years ago. It's been too long. And the distance was incredible now, me in London and him in New York. Now we were a plane ride away. And although I wouldn't be in London forever, I was now. 

"Stop thinking." Ryan whispered in my ear, the movie in the background after he played it again. 

"I'm not." I lied, practically seeing Ryan rolling his eyes. He didn't argue after that, just enjoyed the movie, just as I decided to do- blanking my mind.

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"Do you want to bake something?" Ryan asked once the credits came rolling on the screen. "You know like a cake or brownies or something? I don't know."