From : BigHitter@itsMail.com
To : MayorofLondon@itsMail.com
Subject : All I can say is wow.
November 17, 2011 7:26PM Monday
I have to say, I was not expecting the drawing on the back. Although it was terribly done, I’m not going to lie; it’s actually hanging up on my wall right now. It makes me actually smile, lol. You know, because it’s so terrible. It’s a cat, right? A cat’s head peaking out of a berry bush?
But now I’m so confused. What’s wrong with eating with your mouth open? I just want other people to know what I am eating. After all, I am a leader and everyone follows my examples. I have nothing to say about being a narcissist. I’m a proud one at that. You might want to start calling me The Mighty N! ‘Cause I’m a super hero. ;)
Just to let you know, I had only one girlfriend in my life time. So I’m actually not emotionally daft. But it was terrible. Never going to happen again.
On number four, that’s just a no brainer. Free booze? Who wouldn’t miss it? Other than you, miss perfect pants.
There are two reasons why I’m called Big Hitter and I will only tell you of the PG-13 one. *Wink, wink* Obviously, I’m a baseball player, the best on the team at that. And when I step up to bat, there isn’t a pitcher in the world that can make me strike. I mean, really, we are talking about Anthony Sanders here. That’s like saying water is not wet.
He-he…
Flora kissed me. I had nothing to do with that.
I’m not even going to try and argue against number seven. It’s just false. It’ actually quite sad about how high you think of me.
You mean Aaron Cortez? What’s wrong with Aaron? He has been my best friend since fifth grade and we have been through thick and thin together. Don’t talk about Aaron like you know him, London. I’m okay with you dissing me but not my best friend.
Big whoop, so I made the mistake once. If you actually looked back to all of the conversations between now and since I made the mistake, you will see that I haven’t made it one other time.
I already told you I was sorry about the homework thing for Physics. What do you want me to do, write a banner telling you I’m sorry and wear only that as I run around school? As much fun as streaking sounds, I don’t want to get another suspension. I already have enough warnings for the year.
And it was your fault for gasping like a beta fish in sculpting class because of the note I wrote you. But you should have seen the look on the teachers face when you gasped. I swear, Mr. Yung actually went pale and spilt wet clay onto the nearest student. Hi-larious! Now, if only I could have videoed that.
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From : MayorofLondon@itsMail.com
To : BigHitter@itsMail.com
Subject : All I can say is wow.
November 17, 2011 7:44PM Monday
You are so irritating! Why did you send me a picture that I drew? I mean, it’s not like I forgot what it was! Wait, if you sent a picture to me… did you send it to anyone else? Like Aaron? Oh, gosh… please say that’s a no. but, yes. It is a kitty cat peaking out of a berry bush. And if you were wondering, it’s a mole-berry bush.
Only you would think that everyone else would want to see your ABC food. Just a heads up, slick. No one does.
The Mighty N…? You actually had me laughing out loud on that one, The Mighty N. That reminded me of the movie ‘Monty Python and The Holy Grail’… you know, The Knights of NI? Ahh… great movie, great movie.
Do I know the girl you had called your girlfriend? Does she go to our school?
I am not perfect. I just don’t go to parties because I have to time for them.
You’re a pervert. ‘nuf said.
Well, you are a man-whore. Take in point, Flora. I mean, just because you did not initiate the action does not mean that you have no fault in the matter. You gave her so many mixed signals that she was probably confused into acting. And what did you do afterwards? I hope you at least let her down easily. You and your no girlfriend rule. That girl must have been crazy to turn you off to the idea of having a girlfriend. Tsk, tsk.
Surprise, surprise. There is something you don’t know about Aaron, you second hand man-whore of a friend. But, I’m not surprised that he wouldn’t have told you our history. After all, I barely made a blip on his radar. Heck, I don’t even think I made a small ripple on his life.
Streaking? Because I would SO look forwards to your fat ass mooning the whole school? (if you couldn’t tell, there was a dash of sarcasm there too) No, do not do that. Ever. Really, not even for someone else. Because no matter how much you think the rest of the school would love to see that. The truth is we wouldn’t, really.
You’re so mean to me. >:P
From : 1(509) 555-****
November 17, 2011 8:58PM Monday
Oh, London. How I love your romantic works. You always make me feel so loved. And I sent your picture to Aaron. He says that it looks like Shrek… j/k. I can’t keep it up. That’s too mean and I remember telling you that I would to be less of a jerk. But, I bet I had you for a second. Did I? Tell the truth. London? Yes?
I love that movie: ‘Monty Python and The Holy Grail’. We should watch it again. I haven’t seen it in a while. But I wouldn’t have taken you as the type of girl to watch that kind of movie. I would have thought something more along the lines of Nicholas Sparks and Jane Austen with a tub of ben&jerry.
Oh, London, you pretty much are perfect. I mean, you have perfect grades. You take care of your little brother and sister. You already have a job. You probably already got early acceptance into an Ivy League school. To me, that spells out perfect.
And you might want to watch out there, London. If I didn’t know you hated me so much, I would almost think that you were a teensy bit jealous… but what’s really the difference between loathing someone and loving them, right? I know plenty of girls who slapped me and then kissed me. (Did I make you jealous again? Sorry ;)
The history between you and Aaron seems very interesting. Care to spill about it?
You protest way too much. I bet every ‘no’ you ever wrote to me was actually a ‘yes, please, take me now!’ in disguise.
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From : 1(509) 222-****
November 18, 2011 6:33AM Tuesday
You actually had me freaked out for a moment there. It would be completely in character for you to forward my terrible art work to all of your friends and make fun of it together. I’m almost regretting drawing my cat on the back of that list. But, whatever. I can’t take it back… right? Or would you actually give it back to me. If so, I want it before school starts, mister.
I’m not watching a movie with you… can you say awkward? And you shouldn’t stereotype. Just because I love Nicholas Sparks and Jane Austen doesn’t mean I don’t like stupid and funny movies either.
Please don’t call me perfect.
You can ask Aaron about our ‘history’, if you call one day actual history. But I’m not going to be the one to tell you the story.
I don’t get jealous when it comes to you. Sorry to burst you narcissistic bubble, but it’s true. I was just slightly curious.
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