Glee Preferences and Imagines

Panic Attacks, Seizures, and Banana Funerals

{TRIGGER WARNING}
Mentions of panic attacks, and seizures, if you are sensitive to these things, please avoid reading

Hey guys just an author's note....

As some of you may know, I was at church camp this week.

Overall, I had a pretty good week there, but there were something things that were terrifying.

I made it to Wednesday evening...

Before I get into details, my attacks are triggered by rejection. Not necessarily by one person, but by a group.

I sit down to eat at dinner and I realize that I'm alone...

Automatically scary thoughts pop into my head, like "No one likes you" "You're such a burden" etc. etc.

I try to eat but tears start to stream down my face. I run to the bathroom to get myself calm, but that doesn't work.

It's not too bad right now, I then rush to the dorms and call my mom to see if she can get me.

She doesn't because she knows my dad will kill me...

I am then laying on the floor almost hyperventilating.

Then a girl comes in and sees me, and she goes to get a counselor, who helps me get my breathing back to normal. She massages my legs, hands, and feet to get blood back into them.

After spending an hour talking things through... I get better and I'm able to attend the rest of worship.

We spent time in our groups, and everyone prayed for me, I was fine until the next afternoon...

I began to feel those emotions again, but I was calmed down before it could escalate...

That night, around 12 or so... it starts again. I go to the bathroom and try to cry it all out. I go to the sink to splash water on my face, but I don't calm down.

Breathing gets harder and harder... Of course someone finds me, and gets the counselors that helped me the night before.

I'm in previous state I was the day before, I'm scared and nervous.

Then the counselor that is laying with me in the floor says "Her pupils are expanding and contracting"

They check my vitals and the nurse who was in there said "She might have a seizure"

I wanted to die.

After a few minutes of hearing things like "should we call 911?"
"she's having a seizure" I eventually start responding.

After receiving oxygen through a mask for a while. I sit up and began to notice all the people who are in the room. 7 total, some staff, sone campers, the rest counselors.

I am now full recovered physically, but not quite mentally.

Now I'm telling you this because I need to think some thing through. I'm taking a break from writing at the moment. I might be gone a week or even a month. I'm not sure.

Just to end this A/N on a high note, I'm going to tell you about Dru...

Dru was a banana that my team at church camp adopted...

She had one eye, 11 fingers, and three toes.

Although she had one eye, her eyeliner was on fleek

On Wednesday Dru passed away due to Shaken Banana Syndrome.

We had a funeral for her yesterday

It was sad.

I hope this raises awareness for Shaken Banana Syndrome.

#RIPDru2k16

Just remember that you can stay strong in rough times,
-XOXO
Alibear