Elsewhere: Aesir

The Beginning??

Today's a training day for me which means I get to see Jess. Sometimes we have philosophical talks or just normal talks after sparring. She's taught me a lot about this world. Not just how to fight in it. I've told her some of what I know from my world too. I look forward to these days more than I would ever admit.

After sparring today we watch the stars and she asks me, "What do you think strength is?"

So today is a philosophical day.

"I assume most people in my position would say the ability to win a fight, win a war, or defeat the enemy and protect everyone. Something along those lines." I say as I try not to look at her.

She looks at me and says, "You don't think so?"

"Mmmm. To be honest, I really couldn't care less about protecting everyone. I guess A definition of strength is the ability to win a fight. But I think a more important one is to protect what you think is important.

I think it's the ability to live...and you don't always win in life. I think strength is the ability to admit defeat and learn from your weaknesses and shortcomings, to admit them as well.

I think it's being able to ask for help when you need it, because pride can get you killed. I believe that it's realizing however strong you are, there's always someone stronger. I think strength is doing what you can and accepting what you can't. "

At this point she says nothing and I stare at the sky...should I take the chance to steal a glance? There's something about those blue eyes that draws me in every time I see them.

This isn't sparring, this is just two people existing in a space together. There's nothing to distract me from how I feel, but I'm also curious to know what she thinks about my answer. Does she think it was crazy, heartless, honest, stupid...what?

I decide to look at her, and I jump a little...because she was already looking at me, I wonder for how long.

"Are you afraid to die?" she asks me.

"That depends, there are a lot of things I want to do. I want adventure, I want love, I want to protect that love, I want to feel at peace...so I guess if I'm not satisfied with my life and I die I'd be afraid. But if I've lived the best and as hardest as I could, then I'd gladly welcome death." I speak this time holding her gaze.

She smiles and laughs, "Nothing is ever simple with you is it?"

She kisses me.

PAUSE

Wait what??? She kissed me...WHAT?!?! I mean...yeah I felt the tension in the moment, but I didn't see that coming! Okay, I was definitely hoping for it...but I sure as hell didn't expect it!

PLAY

She pulls away and I just look at her dumbfounded.

"What?" she says.

"Uhhhh...you kissed me...like with your lips and mouth and...you kissed me"

"Yeeeeesssss, what about it?" she says amusingly quizzical.

"What about Cameron? I don't think he'd be too happy about that..." I say matter of factly.

"Cameron...he's in love with me-"

"Noooooooo" I interject. "Reallyyyyyyyy???"

"Shut up." Her eyes narrow. "He's in love with me, but I'm not in love with him. I never have been, and this whole marriage thing is bullshit. I'd do anything for my dad and I understand that I'm the heir, but it's ridiculous. I get I haven't explicitly expressed interest in anyone, but still...Cameron???"

"Well..." I start. "Have you told your dad that, I mean he's a pretty understanding guy and thinks the world of you, but if you told him you didn't want to do it, I'm sure he would accept that."

"Do you love me?"

"Yes." I reply without thinking. Crap!

"Okay, then I'll tell him I don't want to do it." She says confidently.

"I mean, should you base that decision off of me though, because you know... I'm..." I trail off.

"I love you." she says as casually as one would say...oh, I don't know, THAT THE SKY IS BLUE!!

"I always have, I've never seen Cameron in that light."

"But he's told me and I think he's right, he's stronger and better equipped to protect you." I reply a little calmer now.

She gives me a playful smile. "By your own admittance, true strength isn't the ability to win a fight right? So that doesn't matter at all and I agree with your definition." She drops the smile.

"Plus, I don't need ANYONE to protect me, I'll be the first one to fight if someone thinks I'm weak. I don't need a guard." She smiles sweetly. "No offense though."

"Well if that's how you feel genuinely, I'll be honest and say that this is the happiest day I've had since I've been here." I say lost in the possibilities of the future.

She says it wasn't a joke and says that she'll tell her dad...THE KING, tomorrow when he wakes up. I asked about Cameron and she said we'd figure out a way to tell him together. She left after, leaving me to ponder everything just happened.