Not Without You

Chapter 18: Bullet For My Valentine

Dan's POV

I hear the door slam. Phil has left. As long as he's safe I will be okay.

Nothing has ever mattered to me more then Phil. He helped me up when I fell down and he was there to laugh and listen to muse on my down days.

They say it's unhealthy to rely on someone. I say you should find someone you feel comfortable putting yourself on the table (figuratively) for. You shouldn't let them be the soul reason you live. But they should be one of them.

Jenny bad the audacity to stand there and threaten to kill my best friend. I was not going to stand around and let that happen. Even if it costs me my life.

She stood there. Like a deer in headlights. Not scared. Instead intrigued. Or maybe that wasn't the best word.

She held the gun like she was going to kill me. Her posture was poor though, and I could see her knees shaking.

I raised my hands slowly as I heard footsteps coming up the stairs to the flat.

I backed up slowly. Jenny followed me, still aiming the gun at my head. I never imagined in my life that is would be held at gun point. But here I am. Surprisingly I'm not terrified.

It gives you a rush, being in a situation where you could die. You don't realize it until you are a finger pull away from death. You fear death until you are about to die.

Then you are invincible. For that length of time that you could die, you feel like you won't die, like a simple bullet to the heart or a stab in the back could only put you in hospital for a day or two.

A knife to the neck was a paper cut.

A bullet to the head was hitting your head off the side of a table.

Fixable.

The footsteps grew closer as I came closer to the door.

Hands in the air, I smell Jenny's perfume. Flowers.

It reminds me of Phil. His body wash smells of raspberries.

I can hear shouting now. And banging on the door.

The front door could break at any minute into a billion splinters.

That's how loud it was.

I didn't call out. I didn't tell whoever it was that I was there. Held at gunpoint.

I kept my silence as I hoped it would stop Jenny from pulling the trigger.

I would try to live just to see Phil again.

Whatever happened tonight. If I come milliseconds away from death, if Jenny gets caught, at the end of the day I just want to see Phil again. His blue eyes full of cooling warmth and his arms comforting.

I hate that he gets put through all of this.

His brother in hospital, which I had Almost forgotten about until now. You can't blame me for forgetting about everything outside this apartment.

Almost dying once.

Having to deal with me as a flatmate.

This trauma in the last couple months has been devastating to say the least and I have so much respect for him.

The yelling silences. I'm right up against the door. Jenny's gun is pointed right at my chest. I can hear small footsteps right outside in the hallway.

I try to make a subtle noise. I hit my heal against the door. It's not enough noise for anyone to find me.

Thinking.

What can I do to tell whoever is there I'm still alive but not let Jenny shoot me.

She states at me. Her cold grey eyes piercing my skin. Icy like the frost on the windows Christmas morning.

The gun is shaking in her hands.

My hands are shaking from being held up.

She motions for me to put them down.

I take my chance.

I put them down and I 'accidentally' hit them against the door. Loud enough for them to hear.

She puts a finger to her lips.

I mouth sorry.

She falls for it.

The footsteps were farther away then I thought at first but whoever it was heard me.

I'm still full of the adrenaline.

If I had a death wish I would punch Jenny straight in her contoured jaw. Right there. Hopefully breaking something.

But I don't.

I don't have a death wish.

I have a Phil wish. (CRINGE)

All I want is to see Phil one last time.

The knocks start again but this time they bang on the door im leaned up against.

The blood rushes through my body like a water slide.

On the count of three.

One...

I bring my hand up towards the doorknob.

Two...

I grip the door knob tight. Not letting Jenny see me doing so. She's still shaking. I can tell she doesn't want to hurt me. She said it before. She 'loves' me.

Sorry to break it to you Jenny.

But I am very

Very

Very

Three...

I twist the door knob and pull it in towards me.

Using the adrenaline I run to the other side of the room.

I'd make a joke but I almost died so it doesn't seem like the appropriate time.

I hide behind my bed which I almost trip over because of my speed.

I hear gunshots and pray to whoever's listening that the bullets don't fly near me

I only hear two shots.

I doubt anyone died.

Hopefully.

I peak out like a groundhog. I don't see blood which is a good sign.

But I don't see people either.

Fuzzy.

Everything's very fuzzy.

Like when I try on Phil's glasses when he wears them and I decide I deserve them.

Like when I wake up in the middle of the night but I'm not fully awake.

Like when the TV turns to static.

Fuzzy.

The fuzzy fades. But it doesn't fade to normal.

It fades to black.

Starting on the outside.

It joins in the middle until my vision is entirely black.

And that's all that I see.