Why? (Destiel Highschool/College/Coffee Shop AU)

Chapter 16

Castiel's P.O.V. 

Dean came home from the hospital a couple of days after we had our...

moment

it's been about a week since dean's been home and things have been...

weird

we only see eachother when he comes into the cafe 

and even then we barely speak to eachother

it's always so awkward between us now

and it's honestly driving me crazy!!

when i wanted dean and i to be friends 

i thought it would be just like it used to be

when it was just dean and i 

nothing more

nothing less

and i loved it

maybe something's changed

maybe it's because we've grown apart 

or maybe we've grown closer

and were both just scared

i don't know

 all i know is

i can't take it anymore!!

i collapsed on the couch, thinking of ways i can try to avoid dean tomorrow

i didn't want to 

god knows i didn't 

but

i just can't stand him, looking at me the way he does

so...sad 

and then the whole feeling of awkwardness

like should i  say something? 

is he  going to say something?

then it just ends up with neither of us talking

even if i really want to...

he doesn't deserve to feel that way

he doesn't deserve me

i ruined his life

why?

why on earth would he want me?

i freeze 

my thoughts going to a blank as i hear the front door open 

i can smell the liquor slowly filling the air

as i hear loud footsteps and clinking glass coming from the front door

i hear the front door slam shut

i flinch at the sudden loud noise

not being able to move 

i knew Zachariah would be mad at me today 

i had to work overtime today, and i forgot to tell him

he always wants to know where i am 

i don't know why

but he's just very strict like that

i hear his wobbling footsteps go into the kitchen

i stay very quiet 

waiting anxiously to see what happens

suddenly, it gets really quiet