Why? (Destiel Highschool/College/Coffee Shop AU)

Chapter 14

Dean's P.O.V. 

I couldn't wake up 

i knew where i was 

 and everything that was happening around me

but i couldn't wake myself up 

i tried talking to cas, but he doesn't hear me

he talks to me sometimes

i answer

but he doesn't hear me

i basically have given up 

i know i shouldn't 

but i can't help but thinking

maybe this is better 

would cas even want me?

probobly not

he probobly isn't going to want to see me after all this...

oh well

we'll be going of to college soon 

it's not like it matters what we do know

no

don't think like this dean 

let's be honest, you like cas

no, you love him

although you would never admit that to anyone 

you love him. 

you don't want to but you do 

and you guys will be together 

we will

right now cas is sitting on the edge of my bed 

watching T.V. with me

i chuckle a little bit 

at the funny part in the show Dr. Sexy MD 

it's a guilty pleasure of mine

cas was the only one who knew about it

i hear cas's voice and turn to him 

"dean..." i hear him say 

"yeah cas?" i answer him, knowing that he couldn't hear me

i look at him face and see it become sad

and as he's talking i can tell he's breaking himself

no

he's already broken...

i listened in shock to what he had to say

"I just wanted to tell you that when you wake up, it's ok if you hate me, and if you never want to see me again, it's ok...i'm just a worthless person who shouldn't have any friends, because they always end badly" he says 

i stay silent and just watch him, shocked

he chuckles coldly at himself

"i mean take a look at our friendship" 

he continues 

"anyways, i just want to tell you that i will be here when you wake up, and i also think that after all this we should talk about us..." he says 

my heart skips a beat a little bit 

he wants to talk about us?

this is great! 

he does want to be with me!

he does like me!

he does love me!!