Why? (Destiel Highschool/College/Coffee Shop AU)

Chapter 12

*TRIGGER WARNING* (by the way this is not taking place when dean saw cas at the hospital, this is pretty much right after they told cas that dean was in a coma)

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Castiel's P.O.V. 

i'm not exactly sure what to do at this time

dean's still in the hospital

it's been about a week

and i feel like it hasn't really hit me yet

i visit dean everyday 

but as always nothing ever happens 

i look at him

and it's like it's not him

like my feeling are just completely numb 

his nurse is nice though...

i know she takes good care of him 

she asks a lot of questions about him

it's hard to answer them considering that i wasn't in his life for a long time

not that i ever forgot about him though...

i walk up to the front of the school letting out a long sigh 

i had to go back to school, or else my uncle would get suspicious

i still go an hour earlier for class, just in case Metatron and the others are there

i always know Mr. Chuck will be there, he always is

i always wonder why he calls himself Mr. Chuck considering his first name is Chuck 

i asked him once, he said it's because he likes his first name, and wants others to hear it.

i have been telling my uncle lately that i have been staying after school to study

when actually i was at the hospital with dean

i would have said i was over at a friends house 

but i knew he wouldn't believe me 

he thinks that i am stupid and worthless and nobody would ever want to be friends with me

every time he tells me that i just keep telling myself that it's not true 

 but every time i really  think about it 

the more true it seems 

dean was my only friend

and i basically killed that friendship 

i basically killed him...

NO! castiel don't think like that!! 

i keep my head down as i walk towards my homeroom class

i was about to walk in but was stopped by someone grabbing my backpack

 and throwing me backwards 

i fell backwards hitting my head hard on the lockers 

"wow, clumsy much?" i hear a familiar voice say 

i look up 

my vision a little blurry from my head

but i see Metatron standing above me laughing with Raphael and Alistair standing behind him