quarante deux

22 2 2
                                    

16:24

Three days without Rae.

I'm walking down the path to the swing.
I vaguely remember Rae mentioning something about a river.
It's hotter than the Sahara desert today.
I've been walking for at least thirty minutes.

It has to be close.

I pull my phone out and open the maps.
I see a thick, pale blue line across my screen.
The blue dot that claims to be my location shows me that I'm almost there.
A bee flies by me and buzzes close to my ear.
I've always loved the outdoors, but I've always hated bees.

My earbuds play music softly through one of my ears, but the sound of running water doesn't go unnoticed.
I step through some shrubs and the open space of the river bank makes me feel isolated.
Alone.

There is at least ten feet of space between where the trees end and where the river starts.
The shade the trees gave the path is nowhere to be found.
The sun beats down on the open area.
There are no clouds in the sky and the water reflects the light of the sun.

I'm wearing shorts, tennis shoes, and a t-shirt.
I take my shoes and socks off and step down the bank, into the river.

The water is very contradictory to the hot air.
I pull my foot out of the water quickly.
It's freezing.

It's like her.

I huff at my mind moving in her direction.
That's all it does.
Ever since I met her that's all it's done.

I can't blame it, though.
I was drawn to her the moment her skin touched mine.

Both of my feet step into the water and I feel the chills travel up my legs, across my back, up my neck, and out my fingertips.
I take a deep breath and close my eyes.
I open them quickly because the water rushing over my ankles tricks my mind into thinking I'll fall.

Standing out here makes me feel tired.
I've been really tired recently.
Ever since I moved here I have felt lethargic.
I don't have the energy or the motivation that I used to.

I sound like an old man.

I reach my hand down and play with the water.
There is something about the cold that has become more appealing.

I don't know if I'd mind being this cold all the time.

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