trente et un

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14:56

"You mentioned something to me about Ryan last week? What was it?" Rae asks from the backseat.

I turn into the Chipotle parking lot and find a spot.
I pull the key out of the ignition and look at Rae in my rearview mirror.

"I forgot to take your ring off and he saw it." I explain.

She scrunches her eyebrows together, "that isn't bad."

I turn around, "no, Rae, he got incredibly defensive over it. It was almost like he was accusing me of stealing it."

"That doesn't make sense. I gave it to you."

"Rae." I say, hoping she'll understand what I'm trying to get at.

She looks at me for a moment then realizes. "I can see the problem."

I nod, "I'll be right out. I'm hungry."

I climb out of the car and the warm April air falls over my skin.
When I get inside, the line is fairly long.
People from my school and a man with a Blackberry stand in front of me.

Who has a Blackberry these days?

That guy, that's who.

I shake my head and look out the window behind me.
I can't see Rae in my car so I lean against the window and move down the line.

I get my order to go, get a drink, and walk outside.
I climb in my car and Rae's head pops out of the backseat.
She leans in between the drivers and passengers seats.

"What did you get?" She asks excitedly.

"A bowl, a Diet Coke, chips, and guac." I reply and pull my food and fork out of the bag.

Her eyes widen at the food and she flops onto the backseat, "I'm sure that smells so good. I don't remember the last time I had Chipotle."

I shove a pile of chicken and rice into my mouth, going back for the cheese, lettuce, and salsa. "What was the last thing you ate? You know, before you died."

She leans forward again and thinks for a moment, "honestly, I think it was a bowl of cereal. As sad as that sounds, it was early in the morning and I wanted a snack."

"Did you know you were going to do it?"

She furrows her eyebrows. "No," her voice is small.

Something doesn't feel right, and I don't think it's the Chipotle.
The way her eyes look at everything but me, makes me think she isn't being honest.
But I'm not going to push her.

"What do you define yourself as?" I ask out of curiosity.

Her head perks up a bit, "I don't know. A phantom, an apparition, a spirit? I don't know."

Half of my bowl is gone and I open the small container of guac.

It's quiet while I finish my food.
I look back at Rae and she staring out the window.
She looks like she is deep in thought.
I don't want to ruin it.

"What do you want to do? It's Friday and I heard your mom talking about coming home early," Rae breaks the silence.

I finish chewing, "I don't know. You know where everything is around here."

"Hm . . . We could visit my mom's house and look through all of my stuff! She's working today, and it's Friday so she works late! I know a way in!" She exclaims.

I take a sip of my drink and put my trash in the paper bag. "I could get arrested, so no."

Her shoulders fall, "okay, then why don't we just go walk through the woods and see what's up."

"What do you mean?" I ask and turn the car on.

"I mean like, walk through it and admire nature."

I chuckle, "I'm down."

"Awesome," she says and lays down across the back seat.

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