MELANCHOLY ▷ RIARKLE

xv. pills and ramblings

"don't let me
g o."

All the way home, Riley could feel the tension.

"I can't believe you snuck out!" Cory said for the hundredth time, still furious.

"It was a risky move, Riley. You could've gotten seriously hurt," Topanga looked back at her daughter with a disappointed look.

Riley threw up her hands.

"I know that! I wasn't thinking straight!"

"Straight?! You weren't thinking straight?! You weren't thinking at all!" Cory exclaimed.

Riley's mouth dropped. She could feel pressure building behind her eyes, but she didn't want to cry. She didn't want to cry. She just wanted to wake up from this awful dream and find everything to go back to normal. Farkle and Isadora. Lucas and Maya. Maya's memories.

When the Matthews got home, Riley dropped her phone on the kitchen table and ran into her room. She took off her coat and shoes. Riley threw herself onto her bed. She ripped the new cloth off of her wrist. It looked better, but Riley didn't care. She could already feel everything closing in. Everything. Flashes of Farkle's angry face ran through her head, and Lucas telling Maya's unconscious body that he might love her, and Maya not being Maya did as well.

Riley wanted to scream.

This couldn't be happening. None of this could be really happening. But it was. Riley didn't know what to do. She wanted time to pass quickly-to sleep-but she was far too restless. So, Riley stood and began pacing her room, her body shaking as she did so. A thought occurred to Riley.

Her mom's sleeping pills.

Riley knew that Topanga had them for stressful days after work. Sometimes, her dad would take one, but they were mostly for Topanga. Riley had never taken one, but tonight seemed like a good reason to. Riley waited a couple minutes before sneaking into the bathroom and grabbing a pill. She placed it on her tongue then tiptoed to the kitchen. Riley poured herself a glass of water and drank it.

An artificial feeling of calm washed over her as she walked back to her room. When Riley reached her room, she laid down and let the sleeping pill take her over.

Soon, Riley was whisked away into a dreamless sleep.
***
Farkle couldn't sleep. He been up for hours on-end just pacing his room. Maya was alive. She was okay. Well, sorta. She had no memory. That meant to improvise, right? Let her make new ones until the old ones came back? But there was so much they couldn't remake.. They could only hope she'd still be the same old Maya. The one that's devious, and the one that teases Lucas. The one that was one of Farkle's fake (ex now?) wives. She was the one that got two penguins.

And her art.

Farkle couldn't imagine Maya not loving art. He couldn't imagine a world where Maya wasn't an artist. Farkle couldn't think about never hearing Maya sing. He had only heard a few times since first grade, but it was miraculous each time.

Farkle wished the last two days had never happened. He wished time hadn't moved past New Years. Farkle wished everything would stop. He wished his brain would stop. Farkle wished he had taken Riley's advice and stopped thinking. He wanted to stop thinking, but he couldn't it was impossible to stop thinking. You just couldn't do it. You couldn't.

Farkle needed everything to stop.

Nothing made sense anymore.

Farkle collapsed on the floor. He buried his head in his hands, and he let everything out. He chest heaved up and down violently. God, everything was so confusing. His tears were salty and stung his eyes. This was his reality. This was his current situation that would effect the rest of his life. Maya may never get her memories back. She may never go back to the person she was. She could become completely different. Maya was like a sister to him. He couldn't let this go. Maya may never be Maya again. Sure, her name didn't change, but her personality could. Farkle didn't want that. He wanted Maya to be Maya. The same Maya he's gotten to know over the years. She had to remember. Maya had to know who everyone was. She just couldn't forget. It was hard enough to know that she didn't know that she was Peaches. Riley's Peaches. She didn't know. Maya didn't know a thing. She had to know. She had to. Maya was the strongest person Farkle knew. She couldn't have been even slightly defeated by something so small. But, in a way, she was. She lost herself without even meaning to.

Farkle hated it. He couldn't imagine just how everyone else was coping with this. Riley. Lucas. Katy. Everyone.

Their Fierce Amazon Warrior was as good as gone, and Farkle hated himself for thinking that.
***
A/N: ew @ this chapter
BUT HIII IM BACK.

question, how many of you read my book the girl that time forgot?

much love, peaches xx