MELANCHOLY ▷ RIARKLE

xii. new scars

"when my thoughts go,
no one will be grieving."

Immediately, Farkle's hands dropped Riley as the voice of his girlfriend cut through the air. Farkle turned, letting Riley see the appalled Isadora Smackle, too. Her eyes were wide and her mouth was ajar. Riley watched Smackle turn and run down the stairs. Farkle followed.

"Farkle, I-" Riley began when he was still in ear shot.

His head snapped back in her direction. He was angry, more angry than Riley had ever seen him.

"Don't," he hissed."Just stay away from me."

The words left Riley weak, crumbling to her knees.

Destructive. This is your fault. It's your fault Maya's going to die. It's all your fault. She'll die hating you because you didn't actually think she'd live, right? And, now, Farkle hates you, too.

And as the last sentence rang through Riley's mind, she realized something. I have feelings for him. She didn't realize it until she lost him. Riley fell to her knees, not caring about the rain and the wind. She buried her face in her hands. You're such a screw up. You hurt everything in your past. You're no child of Cory and Topanga.

"Riley?" asked a voice, breaking her out of her thoughts.

"Riley!" answered a second voice.

Before she knew it she was being stood on her feet, and forced to look at the two who saved her. Lucas and Zay. They both looked at her with pity. She hated it. They don't know what a monster you are. They see you as Cotton Candy Face and Princess. You're neither of them. You don't deserve them.

"C'mon," Lucas said, gesturing them forward.

Reluctantly, Riley followed. As the three made their way down the stairs, the building shook and the lights snapped off.

The power.

Maya.

Riley broke free from Lucas and Zay, practically flying down the stairs. She's going to die, Riley. If it hadn't off been for you, she wouldn't be in this position.

As Riley reached Maya's room, she saw it swarmed with nurses and doctors.

"She's going into cardiac arrest!" Riley heard a doctor yell.

"How would they know?" Riley asked to herself, totally unaware of Lucas and Zay behind her.

"I don't know, Riles," Zay answered.

"She's going to die," Riley answered numbly.

"Riley, you don't-" Lucas began, only stopping when Riley turned to face him.

"She's going to die," Riley said, her face stone cold.

"Riley-" Lucas began.

Riley turned and walked towards her family.

"Let 'er go," Zay said quietly.

When Topanga saw her daughter, she rushed forward, wrapping her in a hug. Riley felt nothing.

"Honey, you're shivering!" Topanga exclaimed. Riley didn't notice that. She doesn't care. She's just here for her Amazon Warrior.

"Take me home," Riley said numbly.

"But, Riley-!" Topanga protested.

"Take me home," Riley faced her mother, tears welling up in her eyes.

Topanga sighed, and looked at her husband,"Cory, I'm taking Riley home. Call me if anything happens."

"Will do," Cory nodded before giving Topanga a kiss on the cheek.

"C'mon, Honey," Topanga said, gesturing Riley outside into the storm.

Riley still felt nothing. She sat down in the passenger seat, not saying a word.

Topanga cleared her throat,"So, Honey, Farkle and Isadora had a fight after coming back from the roof. You know anything about that."

"No."

Silence unfolded again until they reached their apartment. Her grandparents were asleep on the couch. Riley numbly walked to the bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was wet and in tangles. Her eyes were swollen and red. Her clothing stuck to her body.

Disgusting human. You should be the one on the brink of death, not her.

Riley's eyes darted around the room. Do it. The voice willed her. Find a razor. Inflict the pain you deserve. Riley felt her eyes widen as her hands began to shake.

There was a soft knock on the door,"Riley, Honey, are you okay?"

"Yeah," Riley choked out.

What a liar you are, lying to your own mother.

"I know," Riley whispered, finally giving into the voice."I deserve to die."
***
A/N: If you're triggered by depression and such, read at your own risk!! (I'll put the warning on). So I'm going to go fix autocorrects.