Drumming My Fingers

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Drumming my fingers

Mindlessly lost in my own thoughts

Yet my fantasies are aware

And running

Dreaming awake

Music chimes from inside

And the beat emanates 

From my fingertips

And I drum

And I don't realize

Yet my fingers drum

And the music feels alive 

Tapping my feet

My concentration remains unfocused

And my attention wanders

And my tapping feet

And the beat

Are the focal point of my existence

And nothing else matters

In these principal moments

But living

And mindlessly thinking

And breathing

And weaving my thread

For the fates to change 

And rearrange

And mistakes will be made

And they'll unwind 

And they'll restitch

And there will be patches over errors

Where my heart will fill with terrors

But right now

My mind is focused only on numbing

For inside I'm humming 

And living

And loving

And believing in the impossible

While I know it's not feasible

Or probable

Or believable

But I like to convince myself sometimes

In these momentary, temporary, extensive moments

While my toes are drumming

I hear the music

I feel the beat

And I tap my feet

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