Life I Left Behind (A Daryl Dixon Story)

Chapter Eighteen

Charlie

Present Day

That night, inside Dale’s old RV, was the best I’d slept in months. For the first time in a long time, I slept through the night well into the morning. I hadn’t realized how exhausted I was until Dale had finished up the camp tour and showed me to a bed in the RV. An actual bed. Pretty sure I was dead to the world before my head even hit the pillow.

Waking up the next morning, I was hit with that momentary confusion that sometimes happens when you fall asleep in a strange place. For once, I wasn’t sleeping on a hard floor in the rickety loft of an old bar, or on the moldy carpet in the basement of an abandoned house. I laid there for a minute, sorting through my memories of the day before. A part of me was still uncertain if this was real or not. I mean, Daryl Dixon? I had sworn him from my memories years ago. Yet here we were. In the same one mile radius since we were kids. The thought made me nervous, although I wasn’t really sure why.

I finally forced myself from the bed, ran a hand through my tangled hair and stepped out into the morning. I could tell it was still early, yet I seemed to be the last one in the camp to rise. I could see a few other campers seated at a picnic table near a fire, laughing together, while Lori and Carol hung laundry on a line nearby. I was struck with that first day of school feeling. The feeling of being the odd one out, yet wanting to fit in so badly. I hesitated, wondering if I should just go join the others, or just keep to myself.

“We don’t bite, ya know.”

I jumped, wondering how I had missed one of the group’s members appearing at my side. He was wearing a contagious lopsided grin, and I recognized him not only from last night, but from the night he had helped take me hostage. That particular memory seemed like it was from a different life time.
“Yeah, but for some reason I feel more worried about all of you then the things out there that actually do bite.” I answered, giving him a small smile.

He let out a laugh. “My name’s Glenn, by the way. Don’t think we were ever properly introduced.” He held out a hand.

“Charlie.” I said, accepting his handshake. I could tell I already liked him, especially the way he made it seem like I was already an accepted member of the group, even though I had only arrived yesterday.

“Well, Charlie, you look hungry. You gonna put on a brave face and sit at the same table as the rest of us, or do I have to drag you over there?” He asked with another smile.

I rolled my eyes jokingly. “You sound like Daryl.”

At that, Glenn let out a loud laugh before gently placing an arm around my shoulder and leading me into the center of the camp.

T-Dog, Dale, and Andrea were seated at the table when Glenn led me over. He dropped down onto the bench and patted the seat next to him. Andrea shot me a glare and immediately left the table. I tried not to feel hurt, but couldn’t ignore the sting she left behind.

“Wow…am I really that bad?” I asked out loud.

Glenn shrugged, grabbing some food from the plates in the center of the table. “She gets that way sometimes. And what I mean by that is, she can be a real bitch.”

I snorted with laughter along with T-Dog.

“Andrea will come around. Just give her some time.” Dale said over our laughter. He met my gaze with a friendly smile and pushed a plate towards me. “Now eat. You look starved.”

Truthfully, I was. I wasn’t used to food being so easy, at least not anymore. Here it was, just sitting on the table in front of me rather than me having to go out in search of it.

Dale must have read the look on my face. “Don’t feel bad about eating. We all help out around here. Just pull your own weight and no one will make any complaints about sharing food.” He said kindly.
I nodded and didn’t hesitate a second longer before tucking in.

I had just finished rinsing off my plate and adding it to the dish pile when Maggie appeared at my side. “Hey, I just finished going through some of my old clothes and I found a few things that might fit you.” She said with a smile. “Although-“ She quickly eyed me up and down. “…I think you could do with a shower.”

I felt my cheeks burning, though it was probably hard to tell I was blushing underneath all the dirt and grime that covered my skin. “That’s probably a good idea…” I said. When was the last time I had even taken a proper shower? I racked my brain but couldn’t remember. Usually I just filled up a water bottle and dumped it over my head, which is just as about effective as it sounds.

Maggie led me inside the farmhouse, which looked every bit the way I would expect a farmhouse to look on the inside, and showed me the bathroom upstairs. “The clothes are there, in that bag.” She said, nodding to a large trash bag in the corner. “The farm runs on a back-up generator so try not to take too long or use too much hot water. But other than that, you’re good.” She quickly showed me how to adjust the knobs from hot to cold and how to get the shower running.

I was once again struck by how different today had been so far. It was a drastic change from how I had spent the last two months. The amount of kindness I was being shown by a set of complete strangers was overwhelming. “Thanks. For everything…it’s been…complete hell to say the least.” I said, trying to convey just how grateful I was to Maggie.

She smiled. “Happy to help.” She said, before shutting the door behind me.

I kept the shower down to just a few minutes, but it was by far the greatest shower I had ever had. Maybe an exaggeration, but after months without having access to one, I was in heaven. Plus, I had soap. What a fantastic invention. I got out of the shower feeling like I had shed a layer and like I was lighter than I had been in weeks. I dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a flannel shirt, glad that Maggie had been right and we were roughly the same size. I took my old clothes and stuffed them into the trash can. I looked in the mirror above the sink, relieved to see my reflection hadn’t changed that much over the span of the last few months. I pulled my hair back into a low ponytail before lacing up my old boots and leaving the bathroom with the bag of clothes slung over my shoulder.
After I had stowed them safely away in the RV, I set out to find some task to help with. I needed a way to convey my thanks and show that I was capable of pulling my own weight. I suddenly realized, though, that I had yet to see Daryl that morning. My thoughts trailed back to the previous evening when Dale had gestured off into the distance, telling me that Daryl’s camp was “somewhere over there”…basically just away from everyone else. I smiled a little, thinking about how I was right. Daryl liked his space. Always had.

“Wow, almost didn’t recognize you.” Dale said with a smile, walking towards me.

I smiled back. “Thanks. I feel like a new person.”

“Glad to hear it. Lookin’ for something to help out with?” He asked.

“Yes, actually. But first…I was wondering where I might-“

“Find Daryl?” Dale cut me off.

I nodded sheepishly. “Yeah…I was hoping I could talk to him real quick.”

“You can try, but Daryl’s not really much of a talker. But then again, I guess you know that.” Dale said, looking at me thoughtfully. “You two really grew up together?”

I nodded.

“Just strange to think about Daryl ever being close with anyone. He doesn’t seem like the type.”

“He’s not. There’s a reason we stopped being friendly.” I answered, frowning slightly. Dale nodded, but I was glad he didn’t press for more. I wasn’t really in the mood to revisit that little memory just yet. He pointed out the way to Daryl’s camp, telling me to find Lori afterwards if I was looking for a way to help out. I thanked him and headed off.

I didn’t have to go very far before a small tent come into view, set off by itself. Parked next to it was a motorcycle. I didn’t know Daryl could ride one. Then, yet again, I supposed there was a lot about him I didn’t know anymore. I moved closer to the bike, admiring what a pretty machine it was. Very sleek. I ran my hands over the handlebars. I wondered how hard it was to drive one of these things…

“Hey, hands off the bike!”

I jumped back suddenly, nearly stumbling to the ground. Daryl had emerged from the tent, crossbow slung over his shoulder. He stopped, seeing it was me and not another one of the campers. He stared at me for a long moment, though it was hard to read the expression in his eyes. I squirmed a little, feeling a bit uncomfortable.

“See you ain’t lookin’ like complete shit now.”

“Wow, well that’s one way to put it. Thanks.” I said, sarcasm dripping from my words.

He ignored this and brushed past me, gathering up a handful of arrows that had been in a bundle near a log that was clearing being used as a makeshift seat. Clearly he wasn’t in the mood for chatter, but I pressed on.

“Look, I won’t drag this out and make it anything but what it is…but I just wanted to say…you know..thanks. Thank you for bringing me back here and standing up for me…and for not shooting me in the woods. Its..nice. Being around other people.” I said quickly, fidgeting slightly.

He made me nervous, which was weird. He never used to make me feel that way, but this was a Daryl I didn’t really know. One who seemed to have forgotten we used to be something called ‘friends’. I didn’t think it was possible to ever get back to that place, but I was determined to at least try and be civil.

Daryl grunted in reply, working on strapped his arrows over his shoulder and shoving his hunting knife into a sheath at his side. I figured that was a close as to an actual response I was going to get. I should have just turned and went back to camp, but I kept talking. “Anyways, where you going? You look like you’re getting ready to do battle.” I said, continuing to watch him.

“Hunting.”

“Oh…well, good luck. I guess.” I said, shifting my weight from one left to the other.

I heard Daryl let out a sigh before turning to face me for the first time since I had arrived in his camp. “You don’t gotta come all the way over here and try to make nice with me. I already told ya’
yesterday, I brought you back cause’ I didn’t want you dyin’ out in them woods hanging over my head. So I get it, you’re happy they accepted ya’ into our little merry group, but that don’t mean anything for us. You and me. We ain’t friends anymore, Charlie. So don’t go tryin’ to make that happen. It’s been too damn long.”

I was surprised by the sting I felt at his words. Hadn’t I just been thinking it wasn’t possible for us to be friends again? I ignored the sting, but it was hard to ignore the sudden rush of unexpected anger I felt building inside me. “I know that. I’m not an idiot. Just thought that maybe we could at least be civil, but apparently not. I don’t even know why I bothered. Just forget it.” I said, glaring hard at him before turning around and stomping off. I could feel his steely gaze on me but refused to even spare him another glance.

I didn’t stop until I had finally reached the rest of the camp, and even then, I still felt grudgingly angry. I tried to push that feeling aside as I caught sight of Lori. I made my way over to her. “Can I help with anything?” I ask, hoping most of the acid had left my tone.

Some of it must have still been there, though, because Lori paused with a dish in her hand. “You alright?”

“Fine. Just…it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.” I said, not sure if I was completely ready to spill the truth about what happened between Daryl and I. That was a can of worms that I would wait to open.
She nodded, though still looked a little concerned. “If you say so…I’m actually just finished up here, but I think we can find something for you to do. Anything you’re particularly good at? Cooking? Hauling woods?”

I snorted. “Neither of those. Especially not cooking unless you have a microwave stashed away somewhere. I’m pretty crafty, though, when I was teaching I would-“

“Wait, you were a teacher?” Lori asked, suddenly looking excited.

I paused before answering uncertainly. “Well, yeah. Before all of this I was. High school. Not exactly a necessary trade when it comes to zombie apocalypses. You can’t teach zombies to not eat people.”

Lori ignored this pathetic attempt at a joke. “No, it’s perfect! You see, I have a son. He’s young, but maybe you could, I don’t know, do some lessons with him? Carol and I used to teach the kids, but neither of us were really great at it. I just think it’s wrong to not try to continue to educate him, despite-“

I cut her off quickly. “Lori, slow down! I’ll do it. If that’s really how I can help out. In fact, I think I would like that just as much as you would. I’ll teach your son. You said ‘kids’, though…are there more?” I asked curiously, looking around. So far I hadn’t seen many, besides the one dark haired boy I assumed might be her son.

Lori got a dark look on her face and glanced over her shoulder where Carol was a short distance away, folding clothing. “Not anymore…Carol had a daughter. But…we lost her. Not too long ago, actually.”

“Oh, God. I’m so sorry.” I said in a hushed tone, sparing a glance towards the short haired woman working behind Lori. I couldn’t imagine the pain of losing a child. Losing my parents had been hard enough…and Gabe…well, I still refused to believe I had lost him.

“Yes, so try not to say anything to her just yet. I don’t think she’s ready to really talk about it.”

“No I won’t.” I said quietly. I cleared my throat after a moment. “Anyways, I can teach your son. Just tell me when and where, and I’ll do my best. It’ll be nice to know that college education wasn’t a complete waste of money in this new world.”

“Great, let me go get Carl.” She said happily, finishing drying off the last dish and hurrying away.