Life I Left Behind (A Daryl Dixon Story)

Chapter Twenty-Four

I hadn't been to a proper funeral since my grandfather passed away when I was twenty-four. I had witnessed more deaths in the past three months than my entire life combined, but funerals were few and far between. Hardly ever, it seemed, was there enough time to really say goodbye. I was glad Dale was being given a proper farewell. It put my mind at ease, that maybe he would be able to find peace now. My eyes stayed dry the entire time. I felt dried out inside, like there was nothing really left inside me to let out.

I was glad to see Daryl was there as well. I doubted we would get a chance to finish our conversation from the previous night, but I was just relieved we had finally had a moment of normality between the two of us, despite the horrible reason I had wound up sitting in his camp last night. Maybe there would be a chance to mend our broken friendship. Maybe it would take a long time, or maybe it wouldn't happen at all. It felt like it was entirely left up to chance.

We slowly dispersed from the burial service, until Andrea was the only one that remained. It seemed right that she have a chance to be alone there. Out of everyone, I felt like she had been the closest to him. I knew he had cared about her greatly, having told me numerous times she was important to him and I needed to give her a chance to warm up. I wondered how Dale's death would change her. She already seemed so cold and distant. Would his passing make her colder, or break her down and make it possible to reach out to her?

"We're going to let Randall go." Rick said quietly to me as we walked back towards the farmhouse. All our belongings had been taken out of the tents and were slowly being taken inside the farmhouse. Herschel had insisted we all move inside after what happened last night. Everyone, that is, except for Shane who I noticed was the only absent from Dale's funeral. It only fueled my dislike for him. I was extremely glad Herschel shared this view.

"Good. I think Dale would be happy about that." I answered.

Rick nodded. "My thoughts exactly. He was right all along. We shouldn't let ourselves have that kind of power, like we can play God with another human's life." He sighed. "Glenn and I are going to blindfold him and drive him to the next town over and let him go. Give him a fighting chance."

I didn't say so, but I felt extremely relieved at this. Dale had been so upset by the group splitting a part. Maybe this was a step at mending everyone back together. "I think that's a really honorable thing to do, Rick." I said, giving him a small smile which he returned. "And I wanted to thank you again, for letting me stay. It really means a lot to be a part of a group again. To have a home."

Rick squeezed my shoulder gently. "You're welcome, Charlie." He walked off then to join Glenn near a pick-up truck where he and Daryl had a map spread out on the hood. I was sure they were planning where to drop Randall off.

I wandered over to where Carol, Lori, and Maggie, along with her sister Beth, were gathering arms full of pillows and sleeping bags to carry into the house. I hurried to help.

"Where's everyone else?" I asked, noticing T-Dog, Herschel, Andrea and the others had disappeared.

"Clearing the field of any more walkers and mending a few of the fences." Lori answered.

I nodded, glad to hear the group was working together to make sure the farm was safe. "Carl is doing really with the lessons I'm giving him. I want to do a little more work with him today. Keep both our minds off of…everything." I said. Keeping busy, I had learned, was the best way to keep it together.

Lori nodded and smiled. "That sounds great, Charlie. Thank you."

I returned her smile and followed her into the farmhouse.

The rest of the afternoon was spent slowly moving the camp inside to Herschel's home. I think we were all grateful for the protection of his house, rather than continuing to sleep out in the open. No matter how safe we had felt before, that had changed dramatically. After Lori assured me she and Carol would finish up inside, I steered Carl to a seat on the front stoop to go over some of the lessons we had been working on. Maggie perched herself up on the railing, half listening. Beth took a seat next to me, eager to help. She had revealed to me when I had met her that she had hoped to become a Kindergarten teacher before all this. I was more than happy to share teaching Carl with her, giving her the chance to try her hand at teaching rather than never get the opportunity at all.

When the sun had begun to sink lower in the sky, Rick and Daryl approached the front step. "We're gettin' ready to head out, before it gets to be too dark." Rick announced. My eyes wandered over to where Daryl was standing next to him. If he felt my gaze on him, he didn't bother to look at me.

"Be careful out there." Maggie spoke up, her eyes mostly on Glenn. I nodded in agreement, watching as Lori came out of the house to say goodbye to her husband.

"T-Dog, you mind getting Randall from the barn?" Rick asked.

T-Dog nodded and headed off towards where the other boy was still being held hostage. It seemed mostly everyone else had gathered on the porch to see the three men off, but the fact that Shane was still missing was nagging at the back of my mind. I had only glimpsed him one time today and it had been hours ago. Even then, he barely seemed to notice me. No glares or insults. He looked distant. He looked dangerous. It made me shiver, trying to figure out what was going on in that man's head.

It must have been only minutes later that T-Dog came running from the barn, shouting. Everyone became alert instantly and I felt my pulse speed up. Again, I had the feeling something was wrong. I got up and began walking quickly in T-Dog's direction. I strained my ears, struggling to understand what he was shouting. Then it hit me. Randall was gone. Somehow he had escaped, the same way I had no doubt.

Rick began shouting orders, taking control as the leader. I was only half listening, though. If Randall really had escaped, I knew where he headed. The place I had when I made my escape. I turned abruptly and headed off in the direction of the forest. A voice in the back of my head was telling me this was a bad idea, but I pushed it aside. This was where Randall had to have gone. I didn't think twice about disappearing into the woods.

I slowed down to a walk, trying to catch my breath. I strained my ears for any sounds that were out of the ordinary. He couldn't have gone too far. Not with this fading light. I crept further and further into the woods, careful not to draw attention to myself. I had gone maybe another ten minutes when I heard grunts of pain, followed by a series of loud 'thuds'. My first instinct was that Randall had found a walker and was fighting him off. I immediately pulled my knife from my belt. I took a few steps closer and could make out a figure in the shadowy light. I knew right away it wasn't Randall, though, or a walker for that matter.

"What the hell…" I breathed. It was Shane. Bashing his own head into the trunk of a tree. Even from where I was hidden, crouched behind a trunk of a nearby tree, I could see the blood streaming down his face. He had broken his own nose. Why? Why the hell would he want to do that? The only reason I could come up with was that he truly had lost his mind. He was crazy.

Suddenly, he turned abruptly and I gasped as his eyes immediately fell on me. In one second, he had taken two enormous strides and pulled me out from my hiding place. He slammed me up against a tree, knocking the air from my lungs. His huge fists gripped my shoulders, digging painfully into my skin.

"What the hell do you think you're doin' out here?" He said in a low, dangerous tone.

He was going to kill me. I could see it in his eyes. He really had lost it. "Me? You just broke your own nose! Where's Randall? What are you doing?" I stammered. I was scared and he knew it. He was enjoying it.

"I took care of Randall." He smirked, nodding towards the ground. My eyes averted to the forest floor and a small cry escaped my lips as I spotted the boy's limp body at our feet. "I'm takin' care of everything. Rick's lost it. He ain't no good as the leader anymore. But don't your worry, I'm takin' care of it."

"You're insane! What the hell are you-" I was cut off as Shane turned me around, placed a hand on the back of my head and smashed my face into the tree trunk. I was met with an overwhelming burst of pain. My vision swam as a sunk to my knees. I could feel a warm liquid oozing down my face. I fell onto my stomach, into the dirt. I was aware of Shane's boots nudging my side before he bent down and cocked his head to look at me.

"I think its best you don't try to interfere anymore." He said quietly. With that, he stood up and left. I could hear his voice in the distance as he began crying out dramatically, no doubt putting on some sort of show. I had to get to the others. I had to warn them about Shane. My head was swimming with pain, though. I wasn't sure if I could stand. I tried and immediately sank back down onto my knees as a wave of nausea rolled off me. Instead, I began crawling. Something froze me, though. A groaning. A familiar, horrible groaning.

I looked behind me and was momentarily shocked. Randall was alive. He was pulling himself to his feet. He was walking. He was alive, but not in the same way I was. I wasn't sure how, but he had turned. Hadn't Shane killed him? And unless he'd been bitten before that there was no way he could have turned. Yet there he was and even worse, he had spotted me.

I felt my breathing speed up and it felt like I was gasping for air as I struggled to get away, half crawling, half limping to my feet. My head was throbbing, blood was dripping into my eyes and clouding my vision. Shane hadn't killed me, but this thing that was Randall would. I managed to stand and braced myself on the tree trunks, stumbling from one to the other as I moved towards the direction of the farm. My foot caught a root, though, and I went tumbling back to the ground. I breathed in the forest floor, trying to push myself to keep going. When I opened my eyes again, I was staring at a pair of black boots. At first, I assumed Shane had come back to finish me off. As I looked up though, I saw Daryl and Glenn. I actually laughed in relief as Glenn stepped forward and jammed his machete into Randall's head. He crumpled to the floor. Daryl grabbed my arm and hauled me to my feet. His blue eyes swept over my face.

"You look like shit, Asher." He commented, using my last name.

I wiped blood from my eyes. "Thanks. You have such a way with words, Dixon." I said, impressed at myself for being capable of sarcasm at the moment. I leaned back against the tree, catching my breath. "God, I'm gonna kill that asshole. I swear."

"A little too late, looks pretty dead to me. Like extremely dead." Glenn commented, pointing his machete towards the corpse on the ground.

"Not him. Shane. How the hell do you think I cracked my head open? The zombie pushed me into a tree? It was Shane. He's lost his damn mind. He killed that poor kid and now he wants to kill Rick, I think." I said.

Daryl narrowed his eyes. "Shane killed Randall? Then how did he turn?"

I shrugged. "Check him for bites, but I'm pretty sure he wasn't bit."

Glenn and Daryl kneeled down and began check Randall's chalky, deceased skin for any bite marks. They rolled him over and check the back of him, checked underneath his shirt, checked his ankles. He was clean.

"What the hell…it ain't possible. Not a bite mark on him."

"Can we do this later? We have to stop Shane from doing whatever it is he's about to do!" I urged. The pain in my head had settled into a constant, painful throb but it seemed the cut on my forehead was no longer bleeding.

Glenn nodded in agreement. "Can you run?" He asked, looking at where I was leaning up against the tree.

"I'll be fine. I'm just going to kill that bastard when we find him." I said through gritted teeth.

"Wow, did you know you can look scary as hell sometimes?" Glenn said with raised eyebrows.

"You think this is scary, you should have seen her at eight years old, pissed as all hell." Daryl smirked. "Like a blood thirsty midget."

"Okay, shut up. We need to get back to the others." I said, masking the surprise that Daryl had even brought up our childhood at all. I didn't have too much time to think about it, though, because in the next second the seriousness of the situation seemed to weigh down on all of us as we raced through the forest and back to the farm.

We made it back to the farmhouse in record time. I tried to ignore the ache in my head as I dropped down onto one of the steps.

"Did you find him?" Maggie asked, sitting next to me. "Oh my god, what happened to your head?" Beth bent next to her to get a look and immediately disappeared into the house, returning minutes later with a wet cloth and bandage. I was starting to feel like everyone was always going to be fussing over me. Why did I have the worst luck?

"Randall's a zombie." Glenn announced, ignoring Maggie's question. I assumed we'd get to that after.

"What? Did you kill the one that bit him?" Herschel asked, coming down the steps.

"He wasn't bit. No mark on him. We checked all over." Daryl said. "Make no sense."

"Shane killed him. Then he attacked me and said something about goin' after Rick. He's lost his mind, Herschel. You should have seen the look in his eyes." I said, wincing a little as Beth held the cloth to my head. "And really, you don't have to do this. It's my fault I went chasin' after him anyways."

Lori suddenly emerged from the house, looking panicked. "Carl's gone. He's not inside anymore."

More problems. Just what we needed. We had begun arranging a search party for Carl, as well as Rick and Shane when suddenly Glenn pointed out towards the field.

"I see Rick and Carl! And…holy shit…" He trailed off.

I peered out to where he was pointing and slowly realized what he was seeing. Just behind Carl and Rick was a huge herd of walkers. The biggest I had seen since I had left the city. "Oh god, someone needs to get Carl and Rick!"

"I'm on it!" T-Dog announced, running towards the RV.

"We need to use the cars to drive the herd off the farm!" Herschel shouted as everyone began readying their weapons. I could feel panic brewing, but fought it back. Lori was the only one who seemed to be embracing it and Beth led her inside the house to calm her down.

"There's too many! It won't work!" Daryl argued.

"This is my farm. I'll die here trying." Herschel shot back. No one wanted to argue with him after that. The next few minutes were absolute chaos as everyone ran to a vehicle. I stood on the steps with Herschel, prepared to drag him off the farm if it became necessary.

"How's your aim?" He asked me, raising his shotgun and picking off a walker that had crossed the fence that separated his yard from the field.

"Hopefully good enough." I replied. I had only one handgun on me, barely used. I preferred to take down walkers silently and at close range. Right now, though, I needed to learn how to be a good shot. All those days at the shooting range with Gabe needed to pay off now.

The vehicles weaved all over the farm as everyone desperately tried to drive the walkers away. I could see that it was a failed effort, though. The farm was being overrun and we needed to leave.

"Herschel, it's time to go!" I shouted at him over the gunfire. If he heard me, he chose to ignore this and continued to shoot. A second later, we watched as his barn burst into flames. I finally felt the panic rising up inside me, furious to escape. I needed to stay calm, though.

Lori and Beth emerged from the house and I raced to meet them at the front door. "You need to get out. There's a truck over there. Do you know where the keys are, Beth?" I asked the blonde girl, who looked utterly terrified. "Beth?" I repeated when she didn't answer. She seemed to snap out of it.

"Yes, it used to belong to a farmhand. The keys are always under the seat." She said.

"Then go! Take Lori. I'll find Carl and Rick!" I shouted, pushing them down the stairs. I pulled at my gun and shot a few walkers that got too close to the pair of women. From the corner of my eye I could see T-Dog, Carl, and Rick running from the burning barn towards where we were holding our ground. But where was everyone else? Mostly…where was Daryl?

A scream came from near my left and swiveled around to see a walker had latched onto Beth. I pushed past Herschel and ran towards her. Without thinking, I barreled into the zombie and tackled it to the ground. "Get in the truck!" I shouted again. I used the butt of my gun to smash it into the walker's skull over and over again. I could feel other ones closing in on me and scrambled to my feet. I realized too late that I was being backed into a corner, against one of the sheds. I fired off the last few shots I had and then realized I was screwed.

I heard more yelling and glanced towards the farmhouse to see that Herschel had left his place on the stoop and was driving off in an SUV, hopefully with some of the others inside it. I waved frantically as he drove past, but he didn't seem to see me and kept flying down the road away from the farm.

My heart was hammering. I was running out of options. Then, I heard the sweet sounds of an engine coming to my rescue. Daryl sped past the zombies crowded around me, sliding to a stop in front of me.

"What the hell are you doin'? Get on the bike, woman!" He hollered at me, firing a few shots at the walkers with his own gun. I didn't hesitate and jumped on the back of his bike, wrapping my arms around his middle. Not even a second later we were speeding off after the other cars.

I spared a glance over my shoulder to see the farm in ruins. The barn was still roaring with flames, the RV had been parked next to it and was now also smoking. A few zombies were dragging their feet up the porch. I felt my heart break for Herschel, that he was losing his home. I pressed my face into the back of Daryl's leather jacket, fighting back the tears.