Love Me If You Dare

34

 I called up Jo and Bryan, it's been a while since I’ve hung out with them and I feel bad about it, I've kind of blown them off since me and Alex got together. We were going to go for a skate and catch up on old times. I was excited to see my friends again I just hope they're both doing OK. They both seemed pretty sad last time I seen them. We were meeting up in an hour so I made some good and scarfed it down. I smoked a butt, grabbed my long board and headed out. By the time I got there they were already there looking pretty stoned, I'm happy they smoked before I got there.

“Hey guys.”

“Holy shit! You're back from the dead!” They both said at the same time.

“I never died assholes. I um, I have a girlfriend.”

“Holy fuck D that's amazing! David and I got back together!”

“Oh awesome! I'm happy for you guys! How are you Jo?”

“I'm good, Sam and I are talking about things.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, she says she missed me a lot and she needs to stop being a bitch.”

“It's about time she realized it, but i still think you're just an experiment for her”

“What was that thing you said to me? Oh yeah, protect your heart and i have been, I tell myself everyday i'm probably just an experiment for her but i won't know for sure if i just walk away. So what's going on with you dude?”

“Hanging out with Alex and training to leave. I'm out of here in a month"”

“It seems so crazy, what am I going to do without you D? You've been my partner in crime for five years!”

“You'll still have Jo.”

“Yeah! Exactly! You weren't complaining about my company the last month.”

“Haha stick it to him Jo! Man have I missed you guys.”

“We missed you too D. Don't drop us like that again, We need to be the three amigos again. Two dykes and a fag.”

“Good point guy. Don't worry Bryan I’m not leaving again, well except for when I go to boot camp”

“Me and Bryan have been wondering how is Alex going to handle it?”

“I'm going to need you guys to hang out with her and keep her safe.”

“Don't worry D. I'll take care of it. I'll protect her and Bryan can entertain her. We like her she's really nice and she's really good to you.”

“She said the same thing about you guys. I'm happy my friends and my girlfriend get along.”

“Jo and I are just happy you're not dating a bitch.”

“Yeah, haha me too.”

We all hung out until it was ten at night and then we all skated to our houses. We didn't even skate today we just caught up on how we were all doing. We're going to teach Alex how to skate so she can skate with the guys when I'm in boot camp but she doesn't know about this yet. I was nervous to teach her how to skate, I didn't want her to fall and hurt herself. At the same time though it was inevitable. Every skater falls, hell I’ve busted my ass so many times I don't really feel the pain anymore. Alex is amazing. She understands me and she doesn't judge me. She was on her way over to spend the night she said she missed sleeping with me because it's been two nights. I was thinking way too much and my autism was starting to climb. I was going to have a fit I could feel it coming on strong and it was going to be really bad. I've been trying to control my autism to prepare myself for boot camp. I’ve never had to control my autism before. I needed to get used to it, I wouldn't be able to tick all the time and rock all the time in front of the petty officers and other recruits. They would all probably think I’m crazy and I really don't need to draw any attention to myself. I texted her and told her to just come in and go up to my room but be quiet because my parents are sleeping. Hopefully I don't have a fit in front of her. I don't like when anyone sees me like that. I turned my music on and just stopped trying to control myself. Almost instantly my hands started slapping. They smacked each other with such force that it stung a little. My head started to switch which is one of the worse parts because it's at an awkward angle. I don't tick in an upwards motion it's more like a diagonal stretch of my neck and then it pulses almost. The studder and grunting mixed with the screeching was loud this time. I dug my face into my pillow and screeched and screeched. My door opened and Alex stood there in shock. She ran over to my side and dropped to her knees.“It'll be OK baby. Just let it out, don't fight it.” I couldn't say anything every time I tried to open my mouth I just grunted. She just out her hand on my thigh and didn't say anything. She tried to hold my hand at first but they were moving too sporadically. I ticked and freaked out and she just sat there looking beautiful and perfect for two hours. When I was finally done and feeling normal again I hugged her.

“Thank you so much.”

“For what? I didn't do any thing.”

“Exactly. You didn't try to control it or get it to stop. You just sat there supporting me the whole time. Your presence and the feel of your touch helped me more then you can even begin to understand. I'm sorry you had to see me as a retard,”

“Don't ever say that again! You are not retarded. You are far from it. You're fucking amazing and I hate to see you but yourself down. It makes me sad.”

“I'm sorry baby I didn't mean to make you sad. I just hate it, I hate everything about it.”

“Well I uh. I, never mind.”

“What?”

“No nothing, it's not important.”

“If you say so love.”

 I kissed her deep and lovingly. I was falling for her and it was terrifying, She'll most likely leave just like the rest of them and if she did I would like to think I’d be OK with it because she has made me so happy these past months that I could never be anything but grateful to her. She was saving me and I don't even think she's aware of it.