Love Me If You Dare

33

 In the four months I've been hanging out and talking to Alex I haven't got a lot of training done, it's alright though because when I do train I train really hard. I cut eight minutes off of my run time and can now run my mile and a half in sixteen minutes, I only need to cut off one more and I’ll make the run time. I can do my forty pushups in two minutes but doing forty sit ups is much harder. My stomach isn't in good shape. I think I can pull this off though. I need to do this for Alex, for my dad and mom, but most importantly for myself. Alex had some things to do today so I’m not going to see her so I decided to train today. I made a protein shake made of real juice and protein. I put berries, grapes, strawberries, and pomegranate pieces into my juicer and it made e me a nice cup of juice. I put two scoops of protein powder into my juice mixed it all up and gulped it down. I hopped in the shower and got ready for my run, I grabbed my headphones and my music player and set out on my mission. With every step I ran I imagined I was running back to Alex. She was my motivation these day, every thing I did I did for her. She was all I could think about so that I didn't think about the Navy and leaving her. I ran my mile and a half in fourteen minutes. I had beat the requirement for the running time now I just needed to work on my sit ups. I ran back home and contemplated taking a nap. When I got home there was a note on my front steps addressed to me. I picked it up and opened it.

Dear D,

I hope all is going well with you, I miss you and it's really hard to not talk to you. What I wanted to tell you is that maybe you should move on, I don't know when I’ll be able to see you again and I know how hard that must be on you. Iloveyou but I don't think we can work out. My parents are still doing everything they can to make sure I don't talk to you and I wish they would just let us be. Tell your parents I said hi and I’m terribly sorry if this breaks your heart. Please don't forget about me and please always remember I will always be in your life if you want me to be.

Xoxo Reaye.

I had forgot about Reaye for the most part. I told myself she didn't care anymore because if she did she would have contacted me. I'm happy she wants me to move on because I have. I will always have feelings for Reaye, she was my first love but I know the reality of things and I knew we wouldn't work out as long as her parents were so damn controlling. I just wanted to Alex. I wanted to hold her and marvel in the way she makes me feel. I wanted to embrace her love and her smell. I wanted to feel her kiss that has supported me and helped me get through the shitty things. I wanted to cancel my contract and stay with her everyday but I knew that isn't in my best interest. We need to got through with this test. If she stays with me while I’m gone then she truly loves me and if she leaves me then she never loved me in the first place. I'm really scared to find out the answer. I called her in hopes that she would answer and on the fourth ring she did.

“Hello beautiful.”

“Hello babe.”

“What're you doing?”

“Oh nothing much, just got home from my run. What are you doing?”

“Just got out of the shower, I was getting ready to call my amazing girlfriend and see if she wanted to have dinner but she already called.”

“OH?”

“Yeah, you did call me right?”

“you're talking about me? Yes I would love to have dinner with you.”

“Of course I was talking about you, who else would I have been talking about?”

“I don't know hah.”

“OK well get your adorable ass over here so I can see you.”

“I'm on my way.”

I skated to her house and I was so excited to see her, I don't remember the last time I went this long without seeing her and it was extremely hard. I skated with such urgency as if the fate of the world depended on me, I rang her doorbell and she opened the door and gave me the biggest hug. I picked her up and started walking into the house. I stopped in my tracks when I seen her house. She had set up the table with two place mats and two plates and two wine glasses. She had candles lit in the middle of table and the house smelled divine.

“Babe did you do all this? What's the familiar smell?”

“Yes I did, and I got your moms recipe for her chicken casserole because I know how much you like it.”

“You are literally the cutest thing ever. How did I get so lucky as to have someone like you in my life?”

“You were crying in the park that day, That's how you got so lucky. I've seen you before and I wanted to approach you but you always looked like such a tough cookie that I figured you would just wave me away and not give me the time of day. Then I saw you and you were so vulnerable and I had decided it was then or never to make my move.”

“Well I'm happy you approached me. What's one thing about you I would never know just by looking at you?”

“That's a good question. Mm let's see, I like hot sauce on my noodles. What about you?”

“Hot sauce on your noodles? That's odd. I'm a poet. I write a lot of poems, or at least I used to.”

“Why did you stop? Will you tell me one?”

“I don't memorize them I just write them down to feel better. I stopped because I don't have a reason to write right now.”

“Why not?”

“Because I used to be really sad. I used to be suicidal and cut myself when I couldn't handle reality. I started writing poetry to stop myself from cutting so all my poems are about killing myself. I don't show them to people because they sympathize me and I don't like sympathy.”

“I'm happy you're not sad and I'm happy you stopped cutting yourself.”

“Me too baby, me too.”

“You're so amazing that it's hard to imagine you being sad.”

“It happens. People get handed a shit life and they do their best to deal with it but when shit gets to hard they find an outlet and sometimes it's not healthy. Like cutting or anorexia.”

“As long as your better now I can handle it.”