Love Me If You Dare

26

 I got in the car with Petty Officer Carlton and everything felt so unreal. I was enlisted, I was actually going to go somewhere in life and I was going to prove everyone wrong.

“Hopper, are you aware your ears need to be closed before you leave, it's considered self mutilation. As long as they can't see through them you'll be OK.”

“Thank you for that Petty Officer, I had no idea.”

“I don't remember the last time I had a recruit who was as excited as you to join. I have a feeling you're going to do just fine.”

“OK good because I’m really nervous about it.”

“Don't be nervous, I’ll train you well. I want you to succeed in there.”

We drove back and I could only hope so hard that my parents will be home, I feel like I haven't seen them in months. I hate that we all have different schedules because I really do love my parents. We get along well and they have no problems with my sexual orientation. When I came out to my parents my mom laughed at me.

“Haha, you're telling me that you're gay?”

“Yes mom, That's exactly what I'm saying, you don't have to accept it but please respect it.”

“Oh hunny. I knew you were going to be gay since you were born. I said it right after I cried because you looked retarded.”

“Oh wow. Um, thanks I guess?”

“Oh I didn't mean it like that D. You just looked retarded. You weren't even supposed to live, but I love you regardless of what you are. I love you for who you are, Gay or straight you're still my daughter and I will never stop supporting you.”

When I walked in the door my parents were sitting at the kitchen table.

“Hi mom, hi dad?"

"We didn't hear from you and we got worried. We called your phone and it went straight to voice mail.”

“I'm so sorry! I wanted to surprise you.”

“Surprise us with what?”

“I got into the Navy, that's where I was. I leave In six months.”

“Oh my god! Dove that's fantastic!”

“Thanks mom.”

“D I’m so proud of you! I knew you could do it, I couldn't be more proud.”

“Grab your jackets. We're going out to dinner!”

In the car my phone rang with a number I didn't know so I ignored it. A minute later it went off again indicating I have a voice mail. I punched in the number to call my voice mail and I put in my pin code.

“You have one new message, New message. Hey D it's Reaye. I just got your voice mail but then my phone died. I'm am so proud of you my love. I knew you would do it. I'm sad to hear you're leaving but I know I'll see you when you get back home. No one can keep me away from you. I want to spend my life with you. Please write to me as often as you can. Iloveyou for the rest of forever.”

My heart melted and slid into my stomach. There is nothing I want more then to be with her again. Once I got out of the Navy I was going to find a way to be with her even if I had to move to a different place, I fight for the things I want and I don't give up unless I know I won't succeed. I know Reaye will be in my life as long as I want her too. I know when I come home we'll be able to start our lives together. We'll be older and her parents won't be able to control her. I just want her in my arms every night until the day I pass away. I never thought love could be so strong, the hardest part of it all is knowing she's in love with me and that she wants to be with me but she can't be with me right now and that's what breaks my heart. If only her parents could let us be, if only they didn't hate me so much. I don't understand, parents always say that want their kids to be happy but the minute something unoriginal or not normal makes them happy the parents go out of there way to ensure it doesn't happen and that's the most fucked up thing of all.

I needed to clear my head again and I also need to start training for boot camp. I changed my clothes and went for a run. My feet pounding against the pavement. The houses slowly passing by, the sound of my controlled breaths in my ear, the sweat trickling down my face, it all makes everything I think about so heavily disappear. It makes me think that nothing matters except for making it in the Navy and making everyone I love proud of me. I ran and ran until I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest. I collapsed on the sidewalk and the tears came rushing out of my eyes with every feeling I've been holding back. Life isn't fair. Why do people come into your life when they can't stay in your life. Why do people intentionally hurt people just for their own satisfaction. A girl approached me and all I could think was great, more trouble.

“Hello, are you OK?”

“I'm fucking fine.”

“You don't seem to fine.”

“Does it matter? You don't give a fuck.”

“Oh but I do which is why I came over here when I noticed you were crying. Do you want to talk about it?”

“People fucking suck and parents are assholes, that's all I have to say.”

“Who is she?”

“Excuse me?”

“I asked who is she? Who's the girl that has you such a mess?”

“What makes you think I’m gay?”

“Well for starters. You look like a dyke, and second, parents don't usually get in the way of hetero relationships.”

“OK you're right. I'm a dyke and I met an amazing girl but her parents won't let us be together and I'm leaving for the Navy in a couple months. Why can't shit be fucking easy?! What am I going to do if the Navy finds out I’m gay? That will be even worse when her parents find out.”

“Hey listen to me, Shit fucking sucks. However it will get easier someday and you just need to keep your head high until then. You're really cute, you shouldn't be crying.”

“Thanks for the advice, but you shouldn't try and pick someone up when they're crying over someone else. Besides I don't even know you're name.”

“Valid point, I'm Alex, and you are?”

“I'm leaving, goodbye.”

“Hey wait, why can't we just hang out together? You look like you could use a friend.”

“OK, fine. I'm D.”

“OK D, how do you feel about a cup of coffee?”

“Yeah, sure, But this isn't a date.”

“Nope. Just two very attractive people going out for coffee together.”

“Yeah, exactly.”

When we walked into the coffee house Annie was sitting there with some guy. They were all over each other. When Annie's eyes met my own she gave me a dirty look and then her stupid boyfriend tried to be tough.

“Hey babe, isn't that the dyke who corrupted you?”

“Fuck you dude! You don't even know me and you know nothing about me.”

“I know your vagina is really supposed to be a penis!”

“It's bigger then yours! Shut the fuck up before I beat your ass!”

“Yeah? You think you're big?”

“Big enough to fuck you up!”

“Yeah, OK.”

I stepped up to him and put my nose to his. I can't really fight him. He could call the cops and I would lose the Navy. I can scare the shit out of him though.

“If you really want to keep running your fucking mouth about me and my potential problems I will cut your fucking dick and beat you senseless and if you think I’m kidding fuck with me!”

“OK sorry man. There's no need to be such a fagot.”

 “I'm a dyke. You're the fucking fagot. Annie control your bitch.”