Love Me If You Dare

19

“Hey Bryan, Jo. What are you guys doing here?”

“We came to kidnap you.”

“Why?”

“Because you're sad D and we don't like it. Jo called me to tell me we need to get you out of the house.”

“I'll be OK but you guys are awesome thank you.”

I got up and got dressed curious as to what my friends had planned for the day. I loved that they came and helped me and I didn't even need to ask. That is why they are my best friends. They always knew what kind of mood I was in without me even saying anything, They know when I need to be alone and when being alone isn't a good idea. They love me truly and know everything about me. Bottom line is that I don't need anyone else except these two amazing people in my life.

“D you ready yet? We have to shit to do.”

“Yeah yeah yeah I'm coming I’m coming.”

“OK cool because we need to leave like now.”

“Where the hell are we going?”

“The amusement park. It was Jo's idea.”

“What can I say I’m a genius. My parents are outside waiting to bring us there.”

“You guys are the fucking best. Lets go!”

We got in the car with Jo's parents and we were very excited to go to the amusement park, it was always a fun time and my thoughts didn't sink in so deep while I was there because it was just way too much fun to be anything other then happy. I'm aware of all my problems and all my issues and how I push people away so hopefully I can work on these things and the summer will be better for me. Bryan, Jo and I went on every single ride twice. We took turns riding with a random person and we switched off sitting in the front cars. We were all very fair to each other and that's why our friendship has worked out so well. We also had each others backs, we were the wrong gay group to try and mess with. My friends were my life and I never would have made it through high school if it wasn't for them. They were like my guardian angels on earth and I was highly thankful for them. If they don't write to me in boot camp there's no way I’ll survive. We were there for eight hours, All sunburned and exhausted.

“Hey guys, do you want to sleep over tonight.”

“Sounds good to me, Jo?”

“Hells yeah sounds great!”

“Awesome and my parents won't be home so we don't have to worry about being too loud.”

“Sweet shit!.”

“Fuck yes!”

We got dropped off at my house and Jo packed a bong. Bryan picked out a movie and I made some food, We always split things up evenly between us, I knew all three of us would be able to live together if that turned out to be our desire in a couple of years. These guys would be my life long friends. That is the only thing I was sure of at this point in my life. For the first time in my life I was content with how things were in my life.

“Good morning D.”

“Morning Bry. Is Jo still sleeping?”

“Yeah she's passed out.”

“Good let her sleep.”

“So how are you feeling dude?”

“A little better. I never told you but Reaye called me.”

“And?”

“She poured her heart to me and told me she fucked up and she misses me and she wants to be my friend and she wants me to wait for her.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I'm not sure. I'm still in love with her and I miss her dearly but I can't be a secret, although I would rather have her in my life as a friend then not have her in my life at all.”

“So why won't you be her friend?”

“I want to more then anything but it's really hard to not touch her and kiss her and hold her in my arms. It's just so fucking difficult but I know her love for me is genuine.”

“Give it a try guy, Even if it is hard don't push her away. Don't let her know that you're battling yourself to do what's right because it seems to me that as long as she's in your life it's right, Be there for her in every possible way. She forgave you even when you were an ass. She has tried and tried to fix things and make them work but you need to understand that this is a really hard situation for her. One that you and I will never understand because we have cool parents who accept our sexuality. They don't think we're an abomination or that we're disgusting. We have it easy and she has it so fucking difficult and you being a bonehead isn't helping her! You guys have always said nothing and no one correct? Then go fight for your fucking woman.”

“OK I’m going. Bryan thank you so much for everything! You and Jo stay here and make yourselfs comfortable. I'll be back!”

“OK dude good fucking luck!”

I grabbed my long board but I forgot my music. I honestly didn't care at this point I had more shit to do. I skated to her house faster then I ever have before. No cars were in the driveway so I was glad to know her parents weren't home. I rang the doorbell and waited with anticipation for her to answer the door. Fifteen minutes later Reaye opened the door looking all red eyed and puffy.

“Hi what are you doing here?”

“I'm a fool Reaye.”

“What are you talking about D?”

“I'm an idiot, a fool, a buffoon if you will. I let you go. I didn't fight hard enough to keep you in my life. I walked away the second you pretty much told me to. IloveYou Reaye IloveYou more then I ever thought it was possible to love someone, I'm sorry I couldn't understand what you were going through. I never realized how easy I have it because my parents accept that I'm gay. They don't think I’m disgusting or an abomination or a failure. You're none of those things babes and I hope you believe me when I say this. You mean everything to me, You're my better half. You make me want to achieve all these great things so I can make you proud and take care of you, not that you need anyone to. You're the only one I want Reaye and if I can't have you now I’ll wait until I can have you. Your kisses make me melt and your hand in mine makes me feel like a completed puzzle. Without I feel empty, I feel worthless of accomplishment, I feel lonely and unloved more importantly I feel like a failure. I will wait for you and until the time comes where you can be mine I will be your friend. I will be the best fucking friend you've ever had. I will let you talk my ear off even if it's about a subject I completely hate, I'll go shopping with you just so that you can try on every outfit and ask my opinion because I know you hate making decisions. I'll let you paint my nails if you're bored. I'll let you tell me about this boy that you like so much just to hear the happiness in your voice that I have failed to put there and I will love you unconditionally and with every breath breathe in more love for you. I've never experienced these feelings with anyone and I don't want to experience them with anyone else. I'm sorry I’m a babbling idiot.”

“This right here the reason IloveYou. You're a sweetheart, you speak from the heart and every word that lingers on your tongue is intense.”

“That's all you have to say?”

“No so shut up and let me finish silly.”

“Sorry, go ahead.”

“I love the way you make me feel, I love the way you look at me and speak my name, I love the way you kiss me as though my every kiss helps you breathe, I love that you truly and genuinely care about me, I love that you always ask if I’m OK, I love that you treat me like I’m a princess, I love that you make it easier to breathe, IloveYou, I love everything about you, I love that you carry yourself with such confidence, I love that you have all these amazing goals and ambitions, I love that you have conquered and survived all these obstacles in your life. I love the thought of spending the rest of my life with you. I've never wanted anything more just give me time to make things OK with my parents, they know we talk still and they said that's fine as long as it's not anything more..”

“Babes, you can have all the time you need. I just need you in my life one way or the other.”