My Diary°° Yoonmin

Eleven

Dear diary

Yesterday, yoongi introduced me to his friends. They were all nice and cute people. I honestly felt so happy being around them but I couldn't help but feel shy. I stayed silent and watched them as they all talked and teased each other. I guess the only one who can bring me out of my shell is yoongi, and he is the only one I can act myself around. Isn't this weird? Ive only known him for like a week and im already so attached to him. I used to not believe in fate but now I strongly believe in that. I love him way too much. I realized these feelings of mine a while ago. I think I fell for him since the beginning but I just didn't realize it. I even made this promise to him to not cut myself anymore. I didnnt cut myself this week. Its been hard on me and i'm still restraining myself. Its like I'm trying to get over an addiction, but that addiction is strong enough to mess me up. But I'll live up to yoongi's expectations no matter what. I wont disappoint the one I love, even though I know he wont return my feelings.

He is way too perfect and he has many friends. I knew from the beginning that he won't look at someone like me the way I see him. I know that he is just being nice to me ,he has such a pure soul. Just like an angel. I guess that's why I trust him out of all people. I don't mind staying this way. If he remains my friend then I'm already grateful. I won't have false expectations and think that he might return my feelings.
To be honest I still think that I have bad looks, I still find myself ugly whenever I look at the mirror , I still hate the fat me but im trying to get over it. I try to believe yoongi because everyday he tells me I'm beautiful and showers me with compliments that make me blush all over. I still suffer from depression but not with the same amount as before. You know? There is one strange thing that happened to me,whenever I pass by I no longer get ignored. Like imagine, people greet me and say good morning to me so often. It never happened to me before. It makes me happy? I guess following yoongi's advice was a good idea after all. I even got some cute love letters in my locker. That surprised me. My classmate complimented and told me I was handsome. All this sudden change is making me uneasy but happy. I mean it's like my existence is being acknowledged and I don't know how to express my feelings. I love yoongi so much. If he didn't interfere with my life I would've been still the same or maybe died from blood loss.

He makes my heart race, he makes my face heat up everytime he touches me. He makes me feel needed. He tries to push away all my anxiety. He is an angel in disguise, so pure , so lovely. I love evey detail about him, his dark brown eyes that make me melt with their gaze,his soft hair that radiates a gentle fragrance whenever he approaches me, his small nose that perfectly fits his face, his pale milky skin that makes everyone jealous of it's beauty. His long fingers that make me shiver whenever he interlaces our hands.
Everything, literally everything about him makes me fall in love all over and realize how truly stunning he is. I feel like a school girl in a shoujo manga writing this but I cant help it. He is too perfect to be real.