Adorkable (BWWM/Plussize)

Twenty Seven

April

I sat in the chair next to his bedside. The tubs were still connected to him. Air pumped into hrnim causing his chest to rise and fall. It was one of the most horrific things I've ever seen but I couldn't bring myself to look away.

What if he opened his eyes when I wasn't looking? Keith had offered to watch over Jamal while I got some food but I just couldn't do it. What if something happened to him while I was in the salad line.

Keith walked back into the room. I glanced up and he gave me a sad smile.

"Hey." He said

I just nodded. I didn't trust myself to form real words.

"They're still talking to the doctors?" Keith asked.

I nodded. He was referring to our parents who'd stepped out a while ago to talk to one of the doctors about Jamal's lab report.

"So what have you to been talking about?" Keith said pulling up a chair on the other side of the bed.

"I... uh..."

I was suppose to be talking to Jamal. Our voices were suppose to be something he would hear and cause him to wake up or respond. I'd tried it. There were hundred  conversations I tried to start but the words died on my lips.

"April, we have to try." Keith said.

"I know that. I've tried, but I'm not dora the explora. I can't just ask questions and stare blankly into the distance waiting for answers that will never come."

Keith sighed. "Then try telling him a story. A favorite memory or something. You have to try."

I swallow back tears and the lump in my throat. I reach over and take Jamal's hand in mine. There are so many memories we shared together. Each happy memory I think of is tainted by the sadness of the current situation.

"You...you bought me my first camera, remember. It was after Auntie Shella's wedding." I blink and tears fall down my face.

I remember the wedding. Everyone was dressed up and their was sparkles and food everywhere but the thing that kept catching my eye were the disposable camera's they had on the dinning table.  They were for the guest so they could take pictures of the happy couple, but I couldn't help trying to sneak a spear one out.

"Momma was livid when she found out.  Some times my but still hurts when I see disposable camera's." I say with a sad laugh.

I look back at Jamal.

"But you knew I only took it because I really loved taking pictures, so you saved up all our money from chores and mowing lawns." I say.

My fingers interlock with his and my grip tightens. If I could pull him back from wherever his mind has drifted I would.

"Do you know I still have that camera? It brakes often and the lens isn't that great but some of my best pictures were taken on it. I don't care how old it was or how dusty it gets, I could never through that camera out. I love it and I love you, so please come back. It's not fair for you to just check out in the middle of a fight. Please, Jamal."

I hold his hand and stare at his face. Each second that ticks by brakes my heart even more. After a two minutes of unresponsiveness I let his hand go and stand up.

"April." Keith calls.

"I'm fine. I just have to use the bathroom. I'll be back." I say walking over to the bathroom that's connected to the room.

I lock the door behind me and turn on the sink. The sound of running water block out the sound of my tears. My hands grip the skink and I am more angry than I am sad. I'm angry at the people who did this. I'm angry at Jamal for skipping school and at all my prayers that have gone unanswered. But the person I am most upset with is me for not being able to do anything to help.

I stay in the bathroom until my tears stop flowing. Keith is trying to talk to Jamal. I can hear the muffled sounds of his voice through the closed door.

I splash water on my face and try to hid the fact that I've just been crying.

When I walk back into the room both mom and dad are there. I look at all of us. We all look so tired. The last twenty four hours have been a life time for us. Even Keith, despite his attempts to be upbeat and positive, looks tired.

Momma turns to look at me. Her eye are red. She holds open her arms.  I walk over to her and wrap myself in her embrace. It's happening all over again, except this time I wont be too young to remember. Jamal isn't someone I will be able to look at old pictures of and think how great it would be to have known him.

Unlike my father, Jamal was apart of my life. He was apart of me and as much as I miss not knowing my biological father it wont compare to the pain of losing Jamal.

Hours pass with us inside the room. A nurse with pink ice cream scrubs comes in to tell us that visiting hours are over. Everyone starts to pack up but I can't bring myself to move.

"Come on April, will be back in the morning. They'll call if something changes, won't you." My father said looking at the nurse.

"Of course sir. If anything happens we'll be sure to call the emergency contact as soon as possible." the woman said.

I stood up but instead of walking towards the door I walked over to Jamal's bedside. I leaned over him. My lips brushed against his forehead. Tears slipped down my face and landed onto his but still he remained unresponsive.

Keith came up behind. He placed a gentle hand on my arm and lead me out of the room. I couldn't help but feel that I was leaving behind  apart of me inside of that hospital room.

The ride was back home was silent. There was nothing to say. All our words had been used up on Jamal.

When we got back home I go up to my room and close the door. I go to the closet and pull out the box on the top shelf.

I sat down in the center of the room and opened the box. The Polaroid camera with hello Kitty stickers stared back up at me. I pick it up. Underneath the camera is a pile of photos. The photo atop is one of Jamal and I in kid form. Our faces are smushed together in order to get in the shot. We're both smiling and happy.

My phone buzzes. I answer it automatically.

"April?" Aden's concerned  voice called from the other end.

"Aden."

My voice brakes. For some reason the sound of his voice makes the tears swell in my eyes again. The fall down my cheeks leaving wet trails in their wake.

"Jamal... He's...he's-" I can't bring myself to say anything. My sobs cut me off every time.

"It's okay, April. Everything is going to be okay."

"He's..."  I try again because I need him to understand it's not okay, nothing is. My world is falling apart.

"I'm coming over, April. I'll be right there so stay on the line." Aden says in a firm voice.

I don't argue. I'm too busy trying to control my tears.  For some reason I want- no, need to see him.  My grief is a sea and I need someone to pull me back to shore.

🌹🌹🌹
Authors Note: ending inspired by

Was going to end a bit differently but then this song came on and I kind of wanted Aden to come help April. So yeah I guess he said screw what his dad wants. His dad probably won't be to happy but that for later chapters.

Ps: for those that didn't see I added hide away for the first chapter. It feels very Aden and April.