Discovering Spencer

23. It's complicated

If my life was a TV show it would be titled: A Series of Unfortunate Events in the life of Spencer Bennett. The ratings would be sky high because every week viewers would gather in front of their television to see what catastrophe I'd have to deal with.

Just like all the shows, every episode would be titled. If tonight's events were recorded for a future episode it would be called, Oh Shit! nothing would be more fitting than that because I was caught up in the shittiest most unpleasant situation right now.

I felt like I was disintegrating into nothing with all those eyes on me. My eyes blinked to Logan who looked absolutely pissed off. He shifted his penetrating gaze to Nathan.

At first he looked unnerved by Logan. Then he smirked.He was actually smirking. Did he find this amusing? I was faced with the most awkward embarrassing moment of my life and he had the audacity to smirk.

I couldn't stand it anymore. This had gotten too far and I knew nothing was going to get resolved in this deadly glaring war so I propelled myself out of my seat and stormed off. I could hear everyone laughing but I didn't care.

♥♥♥



The cold air slammed right into me the moment I burst out the front door. The combination of the rush I felt and the cold made my heart thump and I was breathless. I stood in the darkness, in the stillness trying to catch my breath but failing miserably.

I crossed my arm in front of my chest to protect myself from the biting wind. I left my jacket in Quinn's car before we came in because according to her the jacket was ruining the outfit. I now was regretting ever leaving it behind, I was regretting a lot of things right about now.

Quinn had a knack for getting me into the worst situation. Her timing was always imperceptible. Why couldn't she just keep her big trap closed for once? Why did she have to ask that? She always had to interfere in the wrong place at the wrong time.

If I had an inkling idea that I'd be faced with this stupid drama I'd stay home instead. The idea of being home alone studying seemed so appealing to now.

I could hear the music pumping loudly from inside. The prospect of heading back to the party left an unsettling feeling in my stomach. I did not want to deal with what I had left behind but I also didn't want to say out here in the cold either.

I clenched my jaw and closed my eyes shut as a gush of cold wind swept through me. I shuddered, rubbing my arms together.

A few seconds later the door creaked opened and I heard soft footsteps approaching me. It was Logan, I didn't need to turn around to know it was him, my entire body knew body knew it.

"Hey," he said, his voice was as soft as can be.

I turned around briefly to find a shadowy figure standing behind me. He kind of resembled a ninja with all that black he had on standing in the dark.

He came and stood next to me, without saying anything he shrugged off his leather jacket and placed it on my back. I was grateful for that. I slid my arms in the sleeves and the jacket adjusted itself perfectly on me. His warmth was on me now and oddly enough I liked it.

"What was that back there?" He asked, his voice was very quiet.

"I don't wanna talk about it." I dismissed him right away.

I was staring straight ahead, looking at the sea of cars parked in the White's front lawn. For a minute I wondered why they didn't have any Christmas lights illuminating the exterior of their colossal house, come to think of it they didn't have any sort of Christmas decorations anywhere. Not inside nor outside. They were, like, the richest people in town but yet they didn't have a single light anywhere. Maybe they were the types of people who didn't celebrate Christmas.

"Do you wanna go back inside?" He asked, little puffs of smokes coming out of his mouth.

I didn't want to go back to the party and deal with seeing Nathan and Quinn again. Logan looked gut wrenchingly sad so I agreed to go back inside with him. When he took my hand to lead me inside I gasp inwardly, because at that moment all the coldness I felt was gone and was replaced by the heat he had ignited in me.

As we made our way through the small crowed holding hands, it occurred to me that maybe I shouldn't have let him take my hand. It was giving people the wrong impression. I knew what they were thinking as their eyes bored onto our interlocked fingers.

Logan steered me inside an empty room, it was an office and I assumed it was Jamie's dads office because there were tons of awards, certificates and trophies with the name Jason White on them. There was also a larger than life framed picture of a grayed hair man with big green eyes similar to Jamie's placed high above the wall behind the desk. He must really love looking at himself to have a picture that size.

As I looked around I felt Logan's long arms wrapping around my waist. What the hell was he doing? Before I could ask him that his lips were on mine, kissing me ravenously, like his life depended on it. For a few seconds I allowed myself to go with it, I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the softness of his lips, the slow movements of his tongue as he gently caressed mine but I soon realized that I kissing him back was a mistake that I couldn't afford to make. I wanted him but not like this, not on his terms.

"You can't kiss me like this," I stepped back. "You just can't." I added breathing rapidly.

"Why not?" He asked closing the gap between us. He was panting very heavily.

"Because.....because we're not together anymore."

"You broke up with me remember."

"Yeah," I snorted. "You were pushing me to have sex with you."

"So?" He shrugged as if it wasn't an important matter.

"If you wanted sex so badly why couldn't go and get it from someone else."

"Is that what you wanted?" He asked as he swept a few strands of hair away from my face.

I lowered my head. "No."

His breath was blowing softly on my face and I had to lean into him to steady myself so I wouldn't fall.

"I know you still want me?" He whispered in my ear.

"Logan", I began. My voice was laced with pure sensual desire for him. His lips were on mine kissing me again. There was something in the way he was kissing me, with such a sudden surge of pure undiluted passion that my entire body became malleable.

He hoisted me on top of the desk, standing in between my legs I straddled him. As he continued to kiss me I felt the yearn, the hunger he still had for me. He was pulling me in again, deeper and deeper and deeper. I knew exactly where this was going and I also knew if I didn't put a stop to it, it wouldn't end well.

I pushed him away fast causing him to stagger backwards.

"No!" I choked, my breath was ragged.

"Why?" He demanded, inflamed.

I groaned in frustration. "I told you why."

"Well I'm not buying it. I think it's something to do with that kid, Nathan."

"What?" I barked, appalled.

"I saw the way you looked at him when he came upstairs. And he took that shot__"

"That meant nothing." I cut him off. Of course I was lying through my teeth because it meant a lot.

"Whatever." He ran a hand through his dark locks."He obviously likes you, and you like him too don't you." I didn't wanna answer that. "Don't you?" He persisted.

"I-I don't know," I stammered.

"Can I get a definite answer please." His voice came out small like a little boy begging for something he couldn't have.

"I guess," I said.

"God! Spencer." He yelled, clearly frustrated with me because I was being too vague for his liking.

"Okay fine, I like him." I admitted, his face dropped. "But only a little bit." He turned his back to me. "Gosh Logan what do you want from me?"

He swiveled his head back to me, "I want you okay. There I said it."

"Well you have a funny way of showing it." I said. "All this week I was thinking of you, obsessing and crying over you, and all you did was ignore me like I was invisible, like you couldn't go out of your way to be bothered with me." My voice was breaking as I spoke.

He was silent for a while," I-I didn't think you wanted to talk to me. I was thinking of you too but I thought It'd be better to give you space..." He trailed off.

He walked over to me and took my hands into his. A quick jolt of electricity sparked through me.

"Spencer," he breathed. "I'm sorry I was a jerk before. I wanna be with you, just you. So please give me a chance. I won't pressure you into sex anymore. You can take as long as you want and we can take things slow, I just want you to be mine."

I looked into his eyes, they usually looked sexy and confident but now.... They looked lost, sullen, desperate and on the verge of tears. I couldn't believe he was pouring himself out to me like this. Like, the fact of it was too surreal and I couldn't bear it.

"Logan I don't think I can be yours." His eyes widened with shock. "Not now."

"Fuck!" He said harshly under his breath.

"It's just....it's just not a good idea." I tried to explain but he wasn't having it.

"It's that guy, isn't it?"

"No," I said softly. He was part of the reason but I wouldn't dare reveal that to Logan. "I've made too much progress trying to get over you and I don't wanna take a step back."

"Right," he mumbled angrily. "So being with me would be taking a step back?"

"I just_"

"No!" He cut me off. "No, don't fucking say anything else. This was mistake so forget it ever happened."

"Logan, I'm sorry." I cried.

"Don't say anything you don't mean, that shit fucking annoys me." He said then proceeded to open the door. He slammed it so hard behind him it startled me.

Oh my God, did I really just hurt him? I got off the desk, tears streaming down my face. I begin to sob quietly then it grew into an angry shrill. My heart was breaking all over again, over a guy I wanted but couldn't be with.

I wiped my some of the tears away as more poured out my eyes. I needed to get out of here, I had to go find Quinn. As soon as I exited out of the room I ended up face to face with Nathan in the dim lit hallway.

"Are you okay?" He asked sounding genuinely concerned for my well-being.

I couldn't lie to him, especially when I had tears pumping out of my eyes so I shook my head no.

He quickly glanced behind him, probably looking for Logan, then he whipped his head back to me.

"Did he touch you physically?"

I sniffled. "No."

Why would he think that? Logan would never put his hands on me. He was a better person than that.

"Look," he began. " I don't know what's going on between you guys but I'm not sorry I took that shot."

He didn't have to tell me that, I knew he wasn't sorry by the way he was smirking at Logan earlier.

Silence fell between us. A techno song by some artist I didn't know was playing loudly in the background. I didn't know what to say to him. I just broke up with my boyfriend, for the second time, and there he was with his seductive eyes and his unapologetic ways clouding my mind.

"I have to go," I told him but not making an attempt to walk away.

"I want to see you again," He murmured.

"Maybe I'll run into you again at the next party," I said quietly.

"No, that won't do. Go out with me?" His voice was smooth and velvety.

"I can't." I said rather too quickly.

"Can't or won't?"

"I can't," I repeated firmer this time. He raised an eyebrow, clearly not believing me so I went on to explain. "In order for you to go out with me my parents have to meet you first."

He smiled and my chest tightened up.

"So be it, I'll meet them."

That wasn't the response I was looking for so you can imagine my reaction, I was shell shocked.

"I won't care if they ask me a million embarrassing questions, I won't care if your dad pull out his gun__" He paused. "Your dad doesn't own a gun does he?"

"No," I giggled.

"That just increases my chances of making it out alive." He joked and I couldn't but help laugh.

He gave me a breathtaking smile before getting all serious. "I haven't stopped thinking about you since I met you at the mall." He said reaching for my hand. I felt my fingers tingling under his touch. "If I have to meet your entire family in order to take you out then that's what'll do."

"Okay," I said trying to remain calm, cool and collected even though I was dying a very happy death on the inside. "I'll talk to my parents about it."

A wicked glint danced across his eyes then his lips quirked up and he said okay.

He was standing so close to me at that point, I could feel the heat radiating from his body. He smelled expensive, whatever cologne he was wearing it wasn't too light or heavy. It was sexy, enticing, and it fits the manly clean and confident vibe that he so effortlessly emanated.

He reached for my face, lightly stroking my cheekbone with his index finger. I let out a small gasp. It was as if he placed a hot iron right on the side of my face. I turned my face away, playfully shaking my head.

"What?" He murmured, leaning his head close to mine.

I looked up at his expectant face, his eyes said it all. I couldn't believe what I was about to do next. With all that I've gone through tonight I was about to add more fuel to the fire.

"Not here," I whispered leading him inside the office.

After the door closed behind us all I kept thinking was: what have I gotten myself into. Two guys in one night, that wasn't normal Spencer Bennett behavior but then again I was an utterly confused mess and confused messes were allowed to act recklessly.

So I wrapped my arms around his neck, pressed my body against his and kissed him fervently.