Chapter 6

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He charged at her like a deranged mad man, saliva forming foamy bubbles at the corner of his mouth, his eyes wide with rage. Desperate to evade his violent advance, her eyes darted anxiously from side to side searching for an escape route. Her hands shook furiously as they fumbled their way across the kitchen counter she was pinned against. She could feel the cold, hard surface of the marble under her sweaty palms. With an evil grin stretched wide across his face, he lunged at her again, mocking her, playing with her. He could see her terror, almost feel her fear; it excited him all the more. He took another swill from his beer can and charged at her a second time, then stood back, grinning at her again.

Like a deer in the headlights, she was frozen to the spot. The lead in her legs wouldn’t allow her to flee; she was barely able to breathe. Under her fingers she felt the sharpness of a blade, it pricked her fingertips as her hands slid over the handle. Still fixed on the man before her, she seized the knife and thrust it out in front of her, waving it frantically, warning him to back off. He stared at the knife momentarily before bursting into a fit of laughter.

"And just what do you intend to do with that?" he asked, raising the beer to his thin, dry lips.

She tightened her grip on the knife, struggling to steady her trembling hands.

"Feeling brave, are we?" he teased her, sarcasm dripping from his words.

 She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. With one more swallow, he emptied the beer can, threw it at her and ran in her direction, with his fists flying.

Anna awoke, her body shuddering and drenched in sweat. She sat up and pulled her knees to her chin, the way she always did when she had that dream. For a few minutes, she sat there, rocking back and forth on her bed like a frightened child. Under the covers, she could feel her toes curling, and then uncurling, a ritual often performed when she was anxious. Inhaling deeply, she drew back as much air as could fill her lungs and then exhaled slowly, trying to release the tension and anxiety that filled her. She then stretched out her arms and legs and shook them. With a snap of her wrist, Anna threw back her covers and hunched over on the side of the bed, folding her arms across her stomach. 

That dream had always haunted her. Like a ghost from the past it would rise up and cut her down just when she thought she was safe. She had tried everything, medication, therapy, hypnosis, and yet nothing could free her from the demons of her past. Even when she married Ben, a man she thought would protect her, the nightmares continued. He too had failed her.

Ben had never understood her, he may have tried, but he never quite figured out what made her tick. All she wanted was a little support, someone to tell her she made a differ-ence in the world. For a while she thought that becoming a Mother would be the answer, but it just never happened. Oh they had tried, yet all it seemed to do was drive an even bigger wedge between them. No matter how she attempted to communicate with Ben, he just seemed closed off from her, distant. Their marriage spiraled downward from there until there was nothing left between them.

The only good thing that had come out of her attempts at healing herself was her job. Anna had been so impressed with her therapist that she chose the same path. Although her counsel-ling hadn’t been a complete success, it hadn’t exactly been a waste of time either. The insight she had gained from simply talking to people was amazing. She had learned to understand them, why they acted as they did and best of all; she knew that with the right words and proper encouragement, she could help them alter their lives. In a life ruled by dominance, she had learned empowerment.

Once she had started her job, it hadn’t taken Anna long to realise what had been missing in her life. Pride, accomplishment, control. These things had all flocked to her in her role as a counsellor, it had changed her life in ways she had never dreamed possible. For so long she had been forced to rely on someone else to provide for her, take care of her, now she saw that she was capable of doing all of that for herself. She felt like the hungry caterpillar that buried itself deep within its cocoon and emerged as a radiant butterfly. Sure, the study had been a bit of a slog for her, but it had paid off in spades.

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