Chapter 14- Getting Help

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Chapter 14-  Getting help 

“Star, I’m here to help you.” Doctor Williams said. His pen tapped against an open note pad. He had been writing notes about my body language.

He looked into my eyes, “Star, I can’t help you if you refuse to talk to me. If I give you a notepad, will you use it?”

I shake my head, No. I don’t like the idea of some therapist being able to analyze my every thought.

“Star, we can talk about anything. We don’t even have to talk about the accident.” Doctor Williams said.

My heart plummeted to the ground. What did he know about the accident?

“I know your father’s death must have been very hard on you. I know your family misses him. But you were the last person to see him before he died, weren’t you?”

I close my eyes, silencing the world around me.  I can’t listen to another word. Memories threaten to surface and I refuse to re-live that painful night again. I can feel the white, stark rooms threatening to swallow me whole.

 

Your mother will never forgive you if you leave.

 

“Believe me star, I know hard this is for you. But, I want you to help you get better.” Doctor Williams said.

He waits for me to speak.  After we spend ten minutes in silence, he stands up and leaves the room.  I know he’s going to speak to mother and I know he’s going to give her news that is going to turn her world upside down. 

I stay frozen in my seat. I don’t want to be with my mother when the doctor tells her his not able to treat me. Unfortunately, the walls of this room are paper-thin. I can hear the doctor’s voice echoing beyond me like a dark shadow.

“Ms. Winter, I’m so sorry. I’ve never met someone who was….”

The doctor stops his sentence in mid air.  I can her a woman crying into her sleeve. And, I know my mother is crying.

“Your daughter isn’t responsive and I’m afraid I can’t help you. Therapy won’t work if Star refuses to respond. She’s unresponsive and she avoids eye contact. I’m not sure if she’s aware of her surroundings or if she’s experiencing delusion. Therapy will only work if the patient is responsive. There are places that can help Star, Miss Winters. I can recommend a few facilities that—“

My mother interrupts the doctor.  “I think I’ve heard enough, doctor Williams. I’m leaving and I won’t be paying for your services.”

“If you don’t pay—“ The Doctor begins.  He’s almost afraid to finish his sentence.

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