When She Speaks (Rewritting soon)

Chapter 13- The Nightmares

 Authors Note:  Well Hello my lovely fans, I've FINALLY uploaded Chapter 13.  I was stuck for months on this chapter, so this is almost a filler chapter. But there are many climatic chapters to come. :) Either way, let me know what you think! I love reading all of your comments! And thank you for sticking with this story. All the reads,comments, and votes inspire me to write! 

Chapter 13-  “Strange Nightmare”

My heart is pounding frantically against my chest, begging for a release. My clothes are drenched in a dark sweat.  My body begins to shake and quiver with fear.  The room is masked by the dark. My body feels paralyzed and I have no other choice but stay still.  My nails dig into the edge of my blanket as my body begins to shake violently. I can flashes of red and black.  I can hear a startling scream that echoes through my ears.  When I open my eyes, I’m laying down in my bed.  My clock is flashing 12:15.  The room is so dark that I can’t see the color of my skin or any of the objects in my room. I’m almost afraid to move. I see a shadow lingering in the corner of my room.  I’m afraid that there is someone or something waiting for me. 

In a state of panic and confusion, I switch on my bedside light. The small light illuminates my room and the dark light fades.  I find my journal in my desk drawer and scribble ‘I saw flashes of red and black.’   I’ve been keeping a dream journal and I’ve been documenting all of my dreams.  I never remember any of my good dreams but I always remember parts of my nightmares. Over the last week, I’ve had several terrifying nightmares. I will wake up shaking in odd hours of the nights. The images in my nightmare are unclear.  But, I feel an overwhelming sense of terror. 

After I’ve had a nightmare, I have trouble going to sleep again. I’m afraid to go back to sleep and face the demons that await me.   The old lamp flickers with a soft, glow.   The bulb looks worn and old. I fear that the bulb will stop working at any moment and I’ll be trapped by darkness.  I crawl out of bed and creak my bedroom door open.  A string of hanging white candles lights the hall. 

In another room, I hear my mother silently weeping into her pillow. My heart weeps with her heart because I know that I’m the source of her agony. There is nothing I can do to comfort her.  I clutch my blanket to my chest and walk down stairs. I can hear the staircase creaking beneath my feet with every step I take.  I hold onto the railing to balance my weight.  My nails dig into the wood as I feel my legs slipping under me. And I lose all control of my body.  

My body hits the hard step with loud thump. Unfortunately, the awful sound echoes through the small house.  Then, I’m falling and falling.  I’m not as strong as I use to be.   I close my eyes and I feel my body tumbling further into the darkness.  In a note of finality, my body hits the kitchen floor.  I hear my mother’s bedroom door swing open and I can hear the sound of feet slamming against the open ground.

‘Star!’ My mother calls.  When she reaches the top of the stairs, she holds a hand over her mouth to keep herself from gasping. She sees her that her daughter is laying in the dark and is covered in bruises. Her body stills, as if she is unsure what to do.  And, I can almost feel her heart breaking all over again.  She rushes down the stairs but she looks carefully down at her feet, so that she doesn’t make the same mistake that I have made.  She steps off the last step and her hand reaches for my cheek. I turn away, facing the dark light that threatens to consume me.  I can see silent tears streaming down her face.

‘Star are you okay?’ She whispers

I nod.

I’m fine.   I want to tell her that things will change. I want to her that I’m going to change.  But I can’t lie to my mother.  She wraps her arms around me and pulls me tight into her chest.

‘I’m so sorry baby.’ She says and kisses my cheek. 

You’re not that one that has to be apologizing.

‘Maybe, you should sleep in the guest room. ‘ Mom says.

She doesn’t have the strength or the will power to carry me up the stairs.  When I look over at my mother, my heart shatters into pieces. Her eyes look dark and lost. Dark, purple circles outline the bottom of her eyes. Her voice sounds even different. Her voice is a tiny, strained whisper.  Her small fingers wrap around my arm and she leads me into the guest room.  I look down at the shadow of my mother. She’s lost too much weight and she’s always been a petite woman but now she resembles a skeleton. 

“Thomas, repainted the room and we stored a new TV in the room and they are a few books in the closet.  I know how much you love to read.” My mother said.

A moment of silence takes over the room. For a moment, we stare at each other.  When did her eyes become so dark? Her eyes use to be a bright, vibrant blue. Her eyes were a symbol of light and hope.  Now, I can’t find a trace of light in her eyes. 

We stare at each other as the darkness threatens to swallow us whole. I don’t feel like I’m standing next to my mother. This woman—with lost eyes—doesn’t resemble my mother.  And, her gaze is solemn. She looks at the ghost of the daughter and I know she doesn’t recognize me as my daughter.  She turns on the light and the stark brightness of the room begins to burn my eyes. My mother places her hand on my shoulder, “Why don’t you get into my bed?”

I crawl into the bed. My mother tucks me into bed as if I’m child again.  She kisses my cheek and whispers, “I love you.”  Her voice shakes and I know she’s trying to stop herself from crying.

“I’m going to bed, but you can just yell if you need anything at all.” She said.

I know that she isn’t going to go sleep. She’s going to back to her room. She will cry herself to sleep until her body finally collapses from exhaustion. I turn over my side and I force myself to shut my eyes.  Her footsteps are almost silent. When I look up, she has disappeared into the dark light of the night.

I stay away for hours. Like my body, my mind will not rest. Memories from the past threaten to surface, so I focus on the empty wall. I stare at the empty wall, trying to block all of my thoughts. My eyes begin to feel heavier and heavier.  A deep somber takes over my body.  And, I hope that my body doesn’t wake up.  I don’t know if I can bear to face another day.