When She Speaks (Rewritting soon)

Chapter nineteen-

A/N: I Hope you're enjoying the story so far! :) I really wanted to do a chapter in the point view of Star's mother, so here it is.  And, I kept bouncing back from past tense to present. I think this story should be told in past tense. What do you think?

Oh btw, I've forgotten to do dedications for my chapters. So, I'm starting to do dedications. So leave a comment.  And if you leave a long comment and are a fan, you could have a chapter dedicated to you. Or if you want a chapter dedicated to you, just let me know!

Thanks for everything,

-Lexy J.

Chapter 19Ñ "

Mom, wake up." Thomas says.

Her shook her shoulders but she was unresponsive. She could hear him calling her name and her name echoed across the walls. Her heart slammed at that thought. She thought of Star who was trapped into that hospital and there was nothing she could do.

"Mom, please!" Thomas begs.

She turned over and looked at her sun. His curly, brown hair was tucked underneath a red baseball cap and his skin was stained with dirt. He looked so much like his father.

She couldn't stop the tears from pouring onto her cheeks.

"Where you at a game?" She manages to choke out.

"Yeah, I went to a baseball game with a few friends. " He says.

"You don't have to worry about me. I'm fine, okay?" She says, trying to convince her son to leave. She didn't want to be around anyone.

"Mom, please. Get dressed and I'll take you somewhere." Thomas says.

"Thomas, please. I just need some time." She says.

"Okay." He says. She watches him walk out of the door and the door closes with a loud cloud. She didn't dare sleep.

She had not been able to sleep more then three hours in the last couple of days. The image that was sketched into the back of her mind was an image that no mother should ever have to see. She remembered the way she had found Star.

Her hands were sprawled across the forest floor. Her long blonde hair was lying against dark leaves and twigs. There was blood. Her blood had stained the grass and the tip of her fingers.

She remembered the way the silver dagger had pierced her chest. She remembered dropping to her knees as the sobs overtook her body. When she had dropped the knee, had knee had been cut against the edge of the rock. She stroked her cheek. Her cheek had felt so cold and she had been sure that this really was the end. But, then Thomas took her pulse and he told that Star was still alive.

They wouldn't have found her in time if they didn't read the letter and her diary. She watched as the ambulance wheeled her baby away.

They wouldn't let her anywhere near Star and said she had to have emergency surgery. She remembered pacing the emergency room hall for hours and hours. The doctor came back. She remembered the solemn look on his face. He couldn't bear to look at her.

He said, "She's alive."

She remembered racing into the doctor's arms and hugging him tight. The doctor's body had felt so stiff.

"She's been transferred to a mental institution." The doctor Henry said.

She remembered the way she screamed. The way she clutched his white lab jacket. They couldn't take her baby away from her.

"We had no other choice. She was a danger to herself and everyone around her."  The doctor Henry said.

She dropped to her knees. The cold marble floor had felt so hard against her knee. The doctor was trying to help her to feet. And Nurses were racing across the hall. But, all she could all of it was white noise. All she could hear is the sound of her heart pulsing through her body. The memory shattered into millions of pieces.

What could she have done to deserve any of this? She had led a good life and she had given up all of her dreams to raise two children. Not only had she lost her husband. She had lost her daughter as well. And, it was more than she could stand. She hadn't formally visited Star. She had gone to the mental institution.

She walked to her room. She peered through the clear windows and she saw Star sitting in the hospital bed. She was alert and well. She had placed her hand on the doorknob. Then she turned around and run as hard she could. She couldn't face her daughter. Not when she failed her. What she would say?

She didn't know how longer she would have to spend in that place. Star had told her to move on with her life. What she couldn't have known was that her children were her life. And if she didn't have either of her children, she wouldn't have survived her husband's death.

Star was too young and far too naive to understand the truth. She still had a chance to live. She wouldn't give up until she found a way to get Star released from that hellhole. The doorbell rung and sprung her out of her thoughts. She grabbed her robe and went to answer the door.

To her shock, Doctor Williams was standing on her front Porch.

What was he doing here?

Doctor's Williams tilted his hat.

"I'm sorry to bother you at this late hour. " He says.

"Is there something I can do for you, doctor?" She says.

He came closer.

" I just wanted to pay my deepest condolences. " He says. Her eyes knit in confusion.

At first, she didn't know what he meant. But then she realized he had very solemn look on his face and he was carrying a coffee cake.

She didn't know what kind of rumors where spreading around town but she angry that people were spreading rumors about her daughter's situation.

Red angry filled her body. "Star's not dead. She's in a mental institution." Star's mom says.

The doctor looks shocked. 

"Well, that is great." He says.

His face dropped again when he looked at her.

"I mean it's not great. But, she has a chance to get better." She frowned.

She wasn't sure if that was case. She knew her daughter better then anyone else. She knew that Star wouldn't be able to get better in that place. Star would have a better chance to heal at home but no one had given her that choice.

"Do you want to come in?" She asks.

"I just came by to drop off this cake off. I wouldn't want to ruin your evening."The doctor says.

"Please, come in. I haven't had any good company in a very long time." She says. The doctor follows her inside her home.

After she had made him tea, they had ended up sitting on the couch. She had told him about Star's attempted suicide and the trials she had overcome over the last year. He never interrupted her. He just listened to her stories and that was all she needed. When she had finished talking, he had pulled her deep into his arms.

He told her that she looked beautiful. She hadn't sleep in days and had been confined to her own bed for far too long. He still thought she looked beautiful. She didn't protest when he leaned down and kissed her. Then he swept her up into his arms and carried her back to bed.

The next morning, she awoke to an empty bed. He hadn't bothered to leave a note. He had just left in the middle of the night. She had every chance to push him away but she never did. It had been so long since she had shared the night with another man.

She didn't know if was the way he looked at her or the way he comforted her when she cried. She shook her head and the memory faded.

It didn't matter anymore. He had vanished and she doubted that she would ever see doctor Williams. Just before she turned off her light, she caught a glimpse of her husband's photo. Then her stomach clenched with guilt.

How could she betrayal her husband's memory this way?