Broken remains of exo

Chapter 18

As soon as we got back to the dorm,I heard Suho calling me up to his room,even if he didnt call me over i still would have went,i know we have loads to discuss.With a heavy heart i made my way into Suhos room and closed the door behind me.
"sit down" Suho murmured while patting the spot beside him.I quiety sat down and studied his features.His head was down and i noticed he was sqeezing his hands together.I gulped nervously."Suho,im sorry-i...i dont know why,um.."i stumbled on my words,blurting out my apology desperatly while grabbing Suhos wrist."Sehunnie...i know its been tough for you.."Suho started,as he gripped my hand tightly
"im not blaming you for feeling this way,but why did you lie?"Suho sounded really dissapointed,that hurt me the most."I...felt like it was the only way,i mean the medication wasnt really helping and with Baekhyuns anxiety i didnt wonna be getting in the way,he needed the help more than i did" i replied.Suho looked up suddenly,staring intently i to my eyes.
"Sehun...how can you say that?do u think we dont care about you?we all love you,and you matter the same amount as we all do,i hope you know this.Dont be putting yourself down so much.From now in,please promise me that you will talk to me everyday,if anything bothers you,even in the slighest little bit,you have to tell me about it.I know it must bother you having so little privacy and being checked up on all the time but its for your own good.We do this because we care about you,baby"Suho said and his expression told me these words were sincere.He then pulled me into the tightest hug and i cried.I felt really touched.We stayed like this for a very long time,u til we both calmed down and still sat in eachothers arms listening to eachothers breathing and heartbeat.We must have fallen asleep at some stage because the next morning i woke,still in Suhos arms.

It wasnt until now that i realised how much i needed someone to be there for me like he always was.I pulled Suhos sleeping body even closer to me and closed my eyes,breathing in his calming scent.He soon woke up,snaking his arm around my waist and pulling me onto his lap."your sleeping with me from now on"Suho groggily murmured with his morning voice into my ear.I smiled,but the smile soon faded as i pulled away looking inot Suhos eyes."Whats wrong Hunnie?" Suho twisted his head to one side,puzzled.I looked towards the door just as we heard Chen walking down the stairs singing loudly.
"Oh..." Joonmyeon got the message."youre such a kind,cute maknae,they wont treat you any different,and if they upset you or you have enough,we can come back up here and chill together"Suho smiled brightly,kissing my forehead and pulling me up with him.He raised an eyebrow when i started whining."what you want me to carry you downstairs as well?"he laughed.
"maybe i do" i stuck out my tounge at him and raced out of the room before he could catch me.Before i realised what i was doing i ran into the living room and gasped as all the members looked up at me,i was about to run out of the room but Baekhyun quickly pulled me into a back hug and i couldnt escape his iron grip,he must have started working out again."Sehunnie"he whispered in my ear as he rocked me from side to side,all the members went back to what they were originally doing before i entered.
"dont worry,we dont think any less of you,you are our little baby and we will always take care of you"Baek kept whispering as he rested his head on my shoulder.
"i love you and you can always come and talk to me.I understand you Sehun,i really do.I know what its like.Both of us are going through similar things right now so we gotta stay together and help eachother right?"Baekhyun spun me around and i looked into his eyes,he looked sad,i know he felt sad.I wiped a stray tear that started flowing down his cheek and hugged him tightly."im really sorry,i know it means nothing but i will show you that im sorry.i will be completly honest from now on and i will earn your trust again.i will work hard and talk to you all.I love you too Baekhyun.Im not good at all these emotional things but i do care,and im really sorry"i knew i had to stay calm and strong for Baekhyun,i didnt want to be the reason for another panic attack."dont apologise,just dont do that again,please,we will help you,you will start talking small steps and you will be happy again-we will all be happy again.Fighting" Baekhyun looked at me with so much determination.I smiled slightly and he returned the smile.

"Come with me"he didnt even give me a chance to respond as he pulled me into the kitchen.I held my breath as i made eye contact with d.o"its ok"Kyungsoo said as he patted me on the back."i understand,but we need to help you get better,you are very important Sehunnie and who will i have if not you to keep me company in the kitchen?"Kyungsoo smiled looking at me with his big warm eyes.I couldnt help but to smile back.Baskhyun pulled me over to the table,satdown beside me and placed a yogurt on the table."eat"he said simply.I gulped looking up at Kyungsoo who sat in front of me,he gave me an encouaging nod and small smile."dont make me feed you"Baekhyun teased.I slowly picked up the spoon and sunk it into the yogurt.It was vanilla.I brought the spoon to my lips and could hardy force myself to eat it,i already felt sick.Halfway through the yogurt i started gagging and feeling it coming back up."ok,ok thats enough"Baekhyun hastidly shoved the yogurt away to the other side of the table.He rubbed my back as i struggled to keep everything down."you re doing great Sehunnie!"D.o praised,watching me closly.By this point i had tears streaming down my face because my stomoch felt like it was going to explode.They gave me a break after that and i bowed,greatful and went upstairs and sat in a corner on the corridor reading a book waiting until we had some activities.Since we were in China we got to spend more time with Yixing,which we were all very happy bout.Speaking of Yixing,i should go see how hes doing.I entered his room-in China he sleeps alone because he gets up really early and didnt want to disturb any of us,he also sleeps naked so he said it would be best if he slept alone.

He looked up as i came in,jumped off the bed and cuddled me so tight i couldnt breath.He picked me up spinning me around the room."Sehunnie you poor thing are you ok?am i hurting you?" Yixing fired questions at me as he set me down."um,no im fine"i muttered."you sure?you look a little sick"Yixing said as he looked at me carefully"im not lying,hyung.Im doing ok,its just,Baekhyun and Kyungsoo got me to eat and so now i feel a little unwell"i scratched the back of my neck awkwardly."ah,ok"Yixing smiled "thats good,youre on your road to recovery and you seem to be doing good.Im proud.We are worried about you Sehun,dont let us down" yixing a swered in a bright but serious tone."I-thats why i came Hyung,to apologise.I was stupid a d selfish.i didnt think of how you would all feel watching me destroying myself like that..please forgive me,give me another chance,i know i dont deserve one but please?"this was overwhelming for me so i hoped Lay would reply before i fainted or something.

"Sehun-you deserve all the love and affection and care in the world and im going to give you all that and more.Even though you are the youngest of us,you must know that you opinion matters to us all very much.You are a part of Exo,and also a part of us.We wouldnt be able to forgive ourselves if anything happened to you.You are the youngest of us,but we still look up to you-you are so strong and brave Sehun.I hope you know that"Yixing smiled."wow" was all i could say as i hugged Yixing tighly,my embrace telling him everything i couldnt say out loud.
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Happy valentines day:)
And happy #4years with Suho:,) an amazing leader and inspiration:,)
Until next time
~Byun_BAEkhyun^.^~