Broken remains of exo

Chapter 10

I ran into the dance practice room,the members have started practicing without me,since i took a nap and overslept.Luckily they were just warming up.I smiled at Suho as he nodded his head at me in acknowledgement. Just as our choregrapher entered the room,interupting Jongins and Kyungsoos coversation,"right,hey guys,glad to see you all here"he looked at me as he said that,almost making me feel guilty for something that wasnt quite my fault."today well start practice with the growl choregraphy"he shouted,to make sure we all heard him.

I sat down beside Xiumin asking him to pass me a bottle of water.We had a short break.Practice wasnt that bad,but after yesturday i was a little tired,so it was also harder to cooperate.We were used to it so it wasnt as bad as it was at the start.We were also learning some new dance today,i dont really know for what song,i wasnt listening,and our trainer only just started going through the first few moves.I was just excited that Tao will be coming back,i miss hearing him voice echo around this room as he argued with Baekhyun and was teased by Chen.I miss his bright smile,even after a full day of practice when we were all exhausted.I miss his good vibe,and i cant wait to see him again,I think i should call him or something,to just hear him voice..maybe we could all videochat him or something..."yaa,guys come on,ill be showing you the next part of the dance"our choreographer said,as he arranged our positions.At some point throughout the dance i saw our manager walk past the room and smile,and that gave me all the incouragement to give this practice my all.
***
I sat on my bed at night.It was nearing 4am and i just couldnt sleep.My mind was racing,with unanswered questions,doubts and regrets.It has been a long time since Tao left us,and weve been living in the dark for a long time now.We miss him and are sentimental but i also cant help but be angry.Why isnt be talking to us much?Why did he do this and why did this all happen?Everytime i think of him,i feel my heart break that little bit more,and my eyes dampen.i dont know how much more of this pain i can take.Im not that strong and he really broke me down.i want to cry and scream,but nothing happens.I just sit in silence,drowning in nothingness,waiting for something,something that might never happen..

I rise too quickly,feeling dizzy,i needa get out of here,before my mind pulls me in any deeper.I head outside for some fresh air.Everyones sleeping.i always feel like this at night time so i never have anyone to talk to.Im once again,all alone.I sigh as i sink into a chair in the backyard.I look up at the moon and take in the stars surrounding it,I search for the constallations i know,remebering how excited Tao used to get when he found some.He even adopted a star.He was always very interested in the universe.I look up at the sky and think of him,maybe hes stargazing also?but no,thats stupid to think,hes far away,across the world.I just miss him so much,hes one of my closest friends and i cant live without him.
I bumped into someone in the corridor on my way in.Kyungsoo."umm..mianhae", i mumble,ducking my head down so he wouldnt see me cry.
Kyungsoo lifted my chin up,looking into my eyes."youre crying" he stated.
I tried to loosen his hold on my shoulder and get away,but he just gripped me tighter and looked at me more sternly.

I stopped wriggling and started silently crying as he led me upstairs to my room,"you dont have to tell me if you dont want to"Kyungsoo murmured softly,probably sensing that i didnt want to talk.I just nodded as i sat on my bed."ill tell you some other time"i hoarsely whisper.D.o just nodded as he tucked me into bed and kissed my forehead."Goodnight Sehunnie,get better soon" he murmured in a deep sensual voice,he must have woken up recently,maybe even because of me.I grabbed his hand before he could leave and pulled him down into a hug.He chuckled against my neck."i can stay with you if you want me to"he told me,looking at me worryingly."no,its fine!im ok now"i replied.I didnt want to drag Kyungsoo into my issues,so i let him go.He already calmed me down enough,i could rest now.

************
~Byun BAEkhyun^.^~